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Saturday, December 31, 2011

"I" Does Not Exist in "We"

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ow often do you find yourself wishing that the word 'I' didn't exist in your partner's vocabulary? Does it seem as though every time they open their mouth to voice a concern in your relationship, "I" is the first thing you hear? Has it gotten to the point that as soon as you hear the word, your ears stop working and your guards start to go back up? Unfortunately, this is all too common in many relationships.
Perception of Selfishness
The letter 'I' is present in both "relationship" and "selfish". When it is used constantly in the former, it gives the impression of the latter. There are times when one partner may feel as though they aren't receiving the things that they need to be happy in their personal relationship. How this unhappiness is conveyed, can have a direct impact on how it's received.
Constantly bombarding your partner with phrases like, "I need" or "I want", will instantly cause them to turn a deaf ear to your complaints. The first thing that they will most likely think is that you are being selfish; that you are only concerned with what you need and want. As a result, they will respond with, "well, what about what I need?"
Open the Door to Effective Communication
People fail to realize how easy it is to open the door to conversations of this nature. It doesn't have to be an argument, a spat or a debate. With one simple question, healthy exchange can be initiated and all of your concerns can be voiced. Nine times out of ten, you've never thought about it this way because you've been too busy complaining about what you need and want.
Is there anything that you feel you aren't getting from me?
That simple question can put you on the path to happiness. Now, the answer to that question will vary depending on the situation. At the same time, it opens the door for effective communication and gives you the opportunity to present your grievances in a relaxed atmosphere; greatly reducing the probability of a heated argument.
The key to effective communication in this instance is to rephrase your complaints so that they come across as a solution that will benefit you both. Instead of complaining that you need more time, make a suggestion; "we should spend more time together because it will..." Don't sound like you're whining about not receiving enough attention; say something like, "maybe we need to be more attentive toward one another". It makes a huge difference and the results will show it!
As you can see, these simple word changes stop you from looking selfish and make you appear more concerned. It doesn't sound like you are only thinking about yourself, but how the both of you can do things to improve the current situation. There is no way to maintain a healthy relationship when all you think about is yourself and you want your partner to think about you too. Eventually, someone will feel as though they have been left out to dry. That's when you open the door for a whole different set of problems to come into play.
For every lesson in life, there's an article to be written!!!

Friday, December 30, 2011

Secrets of Great Sex (Mature Minds Only)

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very man wants to give his woman GREAT SEX, but very few ever do. The reason why most men fail to give their women great sex is because they do not truly understand what women want, need and desire IN THE BEDROOM.
And if you don't know and understand what a woman wants -- you can't give it to her.
Makes sense, right?
With that said, you are about to discover 3 SEXUAL SECRETS about women and the bedroom that most men will never know. Knowing these sexual secrets will give you the understanding of women that you need to have in order to give your woman GREAT SEX.
So please read on carefully as this has the power to INSTANTLY improve your 'sex-life' and intimate relationship...
1. Women Love Sex, But Only GREAT SEX
The first secret about women is that they absolutely LOVE sex. In fact, contrary to what many men think -- women love sex just as much as men.
But women are different in their love of sex when compared to men because they only want GREAT SEX, whereas 90% of men are happy to 'just be getting some'.
In order to live the 'sex-life' of your dreams, you must first know that women love sex when it's really really good.
2. There Must Be 'Sexual Balance' In the Bedroom
The next sexual secret is that there needs to be SEXUAL BALANCE in the bedroom.
Everything in life needs balance, right?
If you're all about money, but your health and relationship are lousy -- you're out of balance and you will feel unfulfilled.
If you're really healthy, but you have no money -- you're unbalanced and you know that things need to improve.
IN THE BEDROOM, things are no different -- there must be balance.
I use the term SEXUAL BALANCE to describe the balance between a woman being sexually submissive and a man being sexually dominant.
The trouble is, most men don't know how to be dominant in the bedroom.
To be dominant and achieve sexual balance in your bedroom you must take control and lead your woman. Then you can have GREAT SEX.
3. Women Are Creatures of Sexual Reciprocation
This is the sexual secret that will get you EVERYTHING you ever dreamed of in the bedroom and most guys just don't 'get it'.
This concept says that women are creatures of sexual reciprocation and its meaning is both simple and VERY POWERFUL...
Basically, women give as good as they get.
So if you want to have the best of sex in the bedroom -- first you must give your woman mind-blowing pleasure, including VAGINAL ORGASMS.
Do that -- and she will 'reciprocate' and give you everything you want in return. Guaranteed!

Thursday, December 29, 2011

The Importance of Devotion

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fter trust, intimacy, and cooperation, comes devotion. Devotion is recognition that you have found a level of deep harmony in a relationship. Heart has opened and embraced and the mind no longer wanders. You feel a connection to each other and something more. It is this something more that gives the magic feel to a relationship. It is the purpose for why two lovers meet and a potential indicator of what the relationship can achieve in partnership with the universe.
Relationships are a doorway for people to achieve higher awareness of themselves and life, if they have been brought together in love. Devotion is a level of growth in a relationship of love where unconscious beliefs and habits dissolve and clarity of unity begins to unfold between two people. They think and feel alike. Creatively, they are able to dance with the universe playfully and bring forth inspirations from their hearts to enjoy and share with others. They have found a home in their hearts together and they sit on the steps of the universe and wonder what's next.
The power to create and enjoy a blissful relationship with life is based on this principle of devotion. A scattered or disturbed mind has little power to achieve. Two minds in mutual conflict live in hell, but two surrendered hearts achieve cooperation with life and the universe and are granted the privilege of co-creating a future that heals and allows two people to experience the fullest measure of their potentials together. Your intimacy together, blends with the intimacy of life.
You remember who and what you are together and you understand the mysteries of life effortlessly, because the mind is no longer in conflict with existence. You experience truth as an extension of your being and not a theory to be followed or idealized. There is nothing sweeter than to remember together and share these memories in a new awareness. Two have become ONE and oneness is the true nature of all existence.
Most people share their bodies in a relationship for sex only; some will share their minds and emotions, but few will surrender everything: sex, minds, and emotions, to the heart of each other and build trust, which leads to intimacy for cooperation in a purpose that can only manifest in devotion. To work with life and the universe, you have to achieve a devotion to each other and a devotion to the purpose of your partnership with the universe.
When unity is found at the core of apparent division, an explosion of purpose bursts forth and clarity is achieved to manifest a vision that is buried deep in the hearts of all lovers. The gift of shared love is that you are joined to the universe in a playful dance of possible outcomes. Nothing is set in stone, but as a couple, you are given the freedom to explore and learn the meaning of existence and your places in it forever.

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Love Can Help You Live Longer, True or False? Read, Digest and Respond.

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ing and love are intimate kins. Zing means a lively, zestful quality - zest, vigour, force and vitality. Just as the body needs food for its nourishment, so does the soul. It is the beautiful necessity of our nature to love someone. Sir W. Temple has said, "The greatest pleasure of life is love." This is a universal phenomenon.
There comes a time when the souls of human beings - women more than men - begin to fade if there is no love in their lives. Like flowers, they begin to wilt and then fade away. Love is to women what sunshine is to flowers.
The essence of love lies in giving, not taking. That is why Theodore Reiek observed that love is not a passion but an activity.
This is very well illustrated: watch women around you. Some even in their 70s look fresh, beautiful and radiant. They are the ones who give love and in the process, get heaps of it. This sunshine of the soul shows on their faces, in bodies and body language.
Conversely, look upon some young (in calendar years) women and watch; they look old, sagging in spirits and in feminine charms. They are premature fossils of womankind. Why? They have neither given nor got love. They are like sunflowers which never exposed themselves to sunlight!
Modern researchers have revealed that love prolongs life and adds many dimensions to happiness.
People have repeatedly claimed that there is something about "love" that makes the heart tick and the brain come alive. Essays have been written on love, and its effect on general health.
People who have someone to love and who are loved live longer and have happy lives. Love is given unsolicited, with no expectations. It is given generously, unselfishly. It cannot be bought. It takes the mind off our own selves and makes us concentrate on the beloved.
Does love help you live longer? The question however is: is it worth living longer if there is no love in life? There are many different kinds of love and all types of love are important in making life longer and happier. In situations where the emotional state of mind has a role to play in our physical well-being, love makes an impact because we have something to live for, whether our love is of a romantic nature, love for a child, love for a friend, or love for the family.
Love Force
It is love that enables us to pull through disease and sickness. Love helps us overcome odds that are against us. The absence of love can have us falling into a state of despair and giving up before we manage to put up a solid fight.
A life of life is filled with laughter. Laughter is the best medicine for many ills that we suffer from. Love can be medicinal in many situations because it is so closely associated with laughter and cheerfulness.
Love provides good health and long life. "Love does have restorative, preventive, and curative element to it. Love is a powerful antibiotic," says psychologist Dr James T. Lynch. Lack of love leads to loneliness through divorce, death and being single which carrying a risk of premature aging. Loss of love affects the heart. The loss of love can take years from life.
Divorcees are more likely to suffer from disease such as hypertension. People tend to divorce because they have an unhappy marriage and high levels of stress. Divorced men or women have double the heart diseases than married ones. Married couples live longer than those who are divorced, widowed or single. Those who are married and happy are less likely to have financial or psychosomatic problems compared to the single. Married people recover more quickly from diseases.
Good sex makes for longer life. Men who have satisfied sex in their marriages tend to have fewer chances of dying prematurely from cardiovascular diseases compared to those who do not have. Women, who do not enjoy their love life due to their partner’s neglect are more likely to suffer from heart attacks.
What the Optimists Do
The optimists tend to care more for their health. Moreover, the optimistic attitude to life has been associated with faster recovery from injuries and diseases. It is related to the increase of the bodyƊ¼s defence against diseases.
Love is, in all its manifestations, the noblest emotion. It is love and being loved that makes us stronger and live longer. Love makes the world go round. It is a sort of sense of belonging and security which provides a positive change in the quality and length of life.
A man reserves his love not for the woman who physically allures and electrifies him but for the one in whose company he feels tender and dreamy.
The greatest, unfailing test of love is: do you love yourself in the company of a person? If your answer is positive, you are deeply in love with the person whose company makes your heart tick!

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Finding True Love in Your 30s Improve Your Chances

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inding a soul mate when you're bursting with the audacity and spontaneity of youth happens, but it seldom happens to a good number of people. Often, dating in your 30s improve your chances of finding true love because lifelong romantic relationships seldom take off in the shaky grounds of youth. Individuals evolve, and not every couple - because of the phases they may be going through at the moment - can cope with changes over time. For singles that are in their 30s, dating at this age can very well be an opportune time on how to find the girl for you or how to find the guy for you. Here's why:
Numbers on how to find love at this age back up the claim. Statistics shows that people who found each other in their 30s or older have greater chances of building lasting relationships. This may have a lot to do with the level of maturity of people seeking romance at this point in their lives. People in their 30s have gained some perspective on how to find love that enables them to apply hard-won lessons from past mistakes to present circumstances.

Finding a soul mate who has relative emotional maturity (and financial stability) is more likely. People in their 30s are old enough to have accumulated substantial savings and bought properties, but still relatively young to pursue their maximum desires using maximum funds. In short, thirty-something people or older are more focused on cleaning up their psychological mess because they are (almost) done satisfying their basic material desires. How to find love best happens when two people are emotionally ready to be selfless when the relationship demands it.

People in their 30s start taking good care of their bodies and feeling better in the process. To make up for all the indiscretions of youth, people in their 30s exercise their way out of flabby arms and muffin tops, and sometimes, out of their emotional rut. With many thirty-something exercising their way into looking good and feeling food, dating at this age means you are likely to meet someone who is healthy in mind, body and spirit.
People in their 30s are better able to articulate what they want. How to find love is all about the ability to communicate. Communication in this case is not just listening and talking but using the pleasures and pains of past relationships as fodder for understanding the other person. Your past hurts put you in a better position to relate to the feelings of betrayal, loss of trust and loss of hope; hence, you become more careful not to inflict the same damage to the present relationship.
Enjoy the search and good luck!

Monday, December 26, 2011

Topics That Every Married Couple Must Always Discuss Frankly

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any married couples, as well as couples about to be married shortly, mostly do not discuss certain intimate subjects. Why should sex, finances, and child-rearing be taboo topics for discussion? They are subjects a lot of folks try to avoid. The fact is every married couple needs to talk about these things honestly and openly. Only then will they be able to strike a lasting bond between them. If expressing your views makes your partner care any less about you, then you have no business being married in the first place.
It's amazing how many people never discuss sex. Instead, they follow their spur-of-the-moment urges, and when sex is over, it's done until next time. They spend no time discussing what would make the two of them more comfortable, give them more pleasure, or make these intimate moments more memorable. This can lead to one or both partners feeling unsatisfied sexually which often leads to infidelity. You should be having regular conversations about sex with each other, including the time spent leading up to intercourse and the minutes after. All three of these time periods are critical to the utmost enjoyment of both partners.
Talking about your views on finances and spending is a good idea both before and after the wedding. If you are both too liberal in your spending, one of you is a penny pincher while the other is not, or if you have different ideas about what is important in life, you're headed for marital strife. Having separate bank accounts usually isn't the best idea. Instead, you need to work out your budget together and trust each other with the money you do have. Pooling your resources results in a stronger bond between you and teaches you both to compromise.
Before you ever get married, talk about having children. If one partner wants them and the other doesn't, you need to work the problem out ahead of time. Learn how your partner feels about raising children, his or her philosophy on discipline, and whether or not your future spouse is going to be willing to partner with you in the child-raising process. If one of you says no, your spouse needs to back you up instead of siding with the child. Once you're married and have children, make it a point to never argue in front of them. Postpone your discussion until you have a chance to be alone so that you can always present a united front to your kids.
Dealing with these issues head-on is going to make your marriage journey much easier in the long run. Knowing where each other stands as far as sex, money, and children are concerned will save you a lot of arguments down the road.

Sunday, December 25, 2011

How to Have a Thriving Relationship

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Life is full of changes. We move through our lives with hopes and desires. Yet, we often find ourselves unhappy, stressed and with a sense of feeling hopeless and undesirable. Wouldn't it be an amazing and a wondrous experience to live life feeling healthy and sexy? Instead of having that, many of us continue to wonder just how we are supposed to maintain positive attitudes and thrive in all of our relationships. We may not even be aware that positive thoughts are a golden key to thriving - physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, sexually, and even financially.
Even when we are aware, this beautiful space that we encounter, occasionally, seems to evaporate as old patterns begin to reinvade our blissful state. Have you had this happen? You are filled with joy and excitement about life and about your partner. Then, suddenly the discord, the monotony, the "ho hum", the trials and tribulations start showing up. You feel that just once you would really like to be in a relationship that fills you up instead of tearing you down. You want to just enjoy the relationship instead of having to work so hard to keep it strong and healthy.
This is understandable, but life is not a bowl of cherries. It is about love, but it is about growth - personal growth, spiritual growth. We cannot grow and expand if we do not experience any "growing pains." Only we can judge when the pain is too much. No one else can tell us when it is time to walk away. No one else can tell us when we must stay either. At the same time, there are a number of things we can change. Now is this about changing your partner? No! We cannot change others unless they want to change, but we can change ourselves. When we do this we will uncover the joy and happiness within ourselves and not rely on anyone else to create this for us. Our change will affect us individually and it will also have a tremendous impact on those around us.
So, what are some key things you can do to change or do differently that will help you develop and then stay in a healthy, positive, sexy and thriving relationship?
1. Have love and compassion for YOU! Imagine a time in your life when you were a child and experienced something that upset you. Now, imagine your adult self wrapping your arms around your child self. In your imagination, offer gentleness, an outpouring of love, and have deep compassion for your child self. Tell this part of you that everything is going to be all right - that she is loved. When you learn to do this for your inner child you can shift it and offer this same love and compassion for yourself as an adult today. This is not about being selfish. This is about loving and respecting yourself. The more you can love and have compassion for yourself, the more you will be able to do so for others.
2. Be present with your partner and others. When you are with your partner really be with him/her. Pay real attention to what he/she has to say. Practice deep listening. Do not interrupt, change the subject or avoid conversation. Hear what he/she has to say. Put away the cell phone, turn off the television, shut off your computer and focus your attention on your partner. Show your partner that they are truly important to you.
3. Change the words you use. Pay close attention to the words you choose to use. Do you use negative words? Do you call yourself or others "stupid" or "fat" or even "foolish? These are hurtful words to others and us. Even when we use them in a joking tone, they carry negative energy. The energy we send out is what we are going to get in return. Do you want more stupid, fat, and foolish people around you? You can change your words. Try saying, "I do not feel as thin as I prefer to be in these clothes, and “instead of” These freaking pants are too tight on my fat butt!"
4. Let go of the need to be right. This one can be challenging, but it is well worth all of the effort you may need to put into it. When you are discussing something with your partner and you do not agree with them, what do you typically do? It is more common not that we want to correct him/her, say he/she is wrong, and tell this person what we think is right. But, if you can stop and take some time to simply see it from the other person's perspective; you may just be amazed at what will happen. For one thing, you are showing your partner or whoever that you value his/her perspective. And, it is possible that you might just shift your view a bit. If you don't change your mind, that is okay - just be willing to respect and appreciate the differences between you and your partner.
5. Eat healthier. This may seem obvious, but sometimes we forget. Certain foods can make us feel heavy and bloated, or on the opposite end, some foods leave us feeling hungry and unfulfilled. Everyone's bodies are different. You can read up on various ways to have a healthier diet. Eating healthy can have a tremendous impact on your physical and mental health as well as your emotional health.
6. Exercise regularly. Yep. It is true. We need to be active. Our bodies are designed to move. They are not made to sit in front of a computer all day or become couch potatoes. It is important for all of us to be active in one way or another. This keeps the body younger, maintains higher metabolism and it keeps the mind younger too. Going through life in a body that is in shape also helps us feel sexier and more confident.
7. Mix-up your sex life. Making changes in your sex life with your partner can deepen the bond between the two of you and enhance your emotional as well as your physical intimacy. Trying new things, learning what each other's desires are, and honouring one other through physical communication can have a profound impact. You can also discover the sacredness in your relationship - emotionally, physically, and spiritually - with the beautiful and fun filled exercises, experiences and Intimate Adventures.

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Emotionally Unavailable Men

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re you always getting involved with emotionally unavailable men? They may attract you by the intensity of their purpose and their involvement in their careers or in the lives of others but they just never seem to connect emotionally or meaningfully with you. You are tired of these emotionally dry relationships that tire and cause you so much pain. Is there a way to spot emotionally unavailable men? What are the signs of emotionally unavailable men?
1. Over involvement in a career or in other people's lives. You want a man who has a purpose and reason for waking up each morning. He should ideally have a career that he enjoys and people who love and care about him. But too much involvement will be seen in that:
a. His career is all that he talks and thinks about. One of the signs of an emotionally unavailable man is that all he talks about is his career; his only interest is his career; he excels only in his career; and he has no other interest in life apart from his career. If you observe him carefully you will realize that the only thing that he truly loves is his career. In ALL practical ways he is in love and married to his job. He may want you in his life so that you can meet those needs that his job does not meet but his true love and the one that holds his emotions is his job. He breathes, sleeps, dreams and fantasizes about his career...and you will ALWAYS be a lower emotional priority in his life.
b. He is everyone's go-to guy. Yes you want a man who has friends and is involved in their lives but one of the signs of emotionally unavailable men is their insatiable need to serve their friends and family members in every single little thing. It may seem like a cute trait at the beginning of the relationship when you think that he is one of the most giving men that you know but it could be a sign of emotional unavailability. If he is at the beck and call of all his friends and relatives then he will have minimal or no time for you. He simply does not have the time to be emotionally available to you. You may resent his friends or family members but the problem is him...not his friends or family members.
2. He has huge personal baggage. We ALL have baggage from our past since none of us is spared the hurts that the people we interact with and that life bring to every life. But emotionally unavailable men have the type of baggage that cripples them emotionally. Whatever the past relationships did or did not do to them; emotionally unavailable men will react and treat you like the person or persons who hurt them in their past. He simply does not give you a chance to connect emotionally with him as he can only see you through the lenses of his past hurt. He is just unable (or unwilling) to see the real you and so he creates (or sees) reasons why you are just like the people or person that hurt him in the past; and he disengages emotionally from you, ensuring that he can never be available to you emotionally. Some women find such men an irresistible challenge; they want to be the one that saves such a man and gets him to love again. But if you are one of those women then remember to tread carefully as this is a road full of incredible hurts and unless the man wants to change...all the loving in the world is not going to do any good.
Emotionally unavailable men can turn your life upside down if you make the mistake of loving them. They may present a challenge to some women or elevate the caring intuition in other women but whatever emotions they evoke in you; know with certainty that loving them will be a journey to relationship hurts and knocks.

Friday, December 23, 2011

When a Man Is Emotionally Unavailable

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re you always trying to connect emotionally with your man? Do his feelings seem locked up somewhere deep inside of him when he is with you? Do you feel like you are ALWAYS trying to get his attention so that he can pay you some attention? Is this a guy thing or is your man emotionally unavailable? What are the common signs that a man is emotionally unavailable?
1. He has no real desire to be around you. A man who is emotionally unavailable also tends to be physically unavailable all the time. He may be in the same room or even sitting right next to you on the settee but his hands, eyes and body never engage with you. He may go through the motions of living like eating; answering your questions with single answers; having sex and doing whatever you ask in the home. But he will not have any real interest in you and he will not cuddle, or hug you or touch you lightly as he talks. His interaction with you gives you the eerie feeling that he is thousands or even million of miles away from you, even when he is sitting or lying right next to you.
2. He has no interest in the things that are uniquely you or in issues that concern you. A man that is emotionally unavailable is living on automatic, much like a robot. He functions by doing the minimal that he can in his relationship with you. He will not really be interested in your life and its unique twists and turns. He may get involved if you harass and nag him into action but generally it is an uphill task getting him involved in 'your' things. He may respond when you tell him about your day but if you pay attention to him, his body and replies you can almost hear them screaming their total disinterest in all that concerns you.
3. Your conversations are confined to the mundane life stuff. When a man is emotionally unavailable to you he talks to you about non-issues. He talks only when he must and he does not talk about himself or the things that are dear to his heart and life. Instead he will talk about the weather, the traffic or other such life stuff; and how it was, without telling you how it affected him or made him feel. He will talk like one who is an outside observer in his life. His lack of emotional connection with you will make his conversation more like a commentary... like it happened but not to him as he has no feelings about it that he cares enough to share with you.
4. Nothing about you and your life together gives him joy and happiness. An emotionally unavailable man will not find you a source of pleasure. He may not be completely unhappy but episodes of sheer delight and pleasure with you will be rare or non-existent... and you will know it.
5. He is an emotionally dead man only when he is around you! A man that is emotionally unavailable to you will behave like an emotionally dead man around you only. When he is around other people he will be animated and engaged; and he will actually seem like a different man emotionally. He will be passionate, engaged and happy around them. Do not believe the lie that it is because he has known the other people longer etc. The truth is that he is not emotionally available to you!
These signs in combination with your intuition will let you know whether or not your man is emotionally unavailable to you. When you know that your man is emotionally unavailable the next stage will be understood why he is disconnected emotionally from you. He may be going through a life crisis or he may just want out of the relationship.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Signs That He is Never Going to Marry You

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ou want him to commit to you and to marry you (plain and simple) but he seems oblivious of this desire of yours. You have waited hopefully for what seems like an eternity for him to pop the big but increasingly elusive question. You have dreamt about all the possible romantic ways and places that he could propose; you have found your mind wondering and fantasizing about it and you have even discussed it with all your girl pals BUT he seems to have no awareness of the need for a formal commitment to you. The puzzle for you is that he seems too really like you and everything between the two of you is great but he just seems clueless about marriage or commitment. You want him to commit to you and to marry you but you don't know whether he will ever marry you. What are the signs that a guy is never going to marry you?
1. He is completely content with the way things are and he says so. A guy that is never going to marry you will let you know. You will have discussed the possibility of marriage and he will have clearly told you that he does not think that a piece of paper will change the love and commitment that he has towards you. He will vilify marriage and work at convincing you that your relationship is great as it is and that marriage will not add anything to your relationship. The bottom line is that he simply does not want to marry you and you must deal with that fact. If marriage is critical to you then you must be prepared to call his bluff and demonstrate to him how serious this issue is to you by letting him know that if he doesn't marry you within a specific period then you will leave him... and you must be prepared to leave him if you make that ultimatum otherwise you shouldn't make it at all as it will just weaken your position even further and will ensure that he never marries you.
2. He tells you that you are not 'wife' material. A guy that is never going to marry you keeps telling you about the kind of girl he is expected to marry and how you just don't fit the specifications given. He makes it seem like it is other peoples fault. He will tell you that he really likes you BUT his mother or friends or culture or boss or 'whoever it is' expects him to marry a specific type of girl (which you clearly are not) and he just cannot disappoint these people or person. He paints himself as a victim of family or culture or career or whatever it is that he says 'prevents' him from marrying you. He repeatedly lets you know what a great girl you are and how unfair it is for his mother or boss or society or culture or whatever it is to forbid a marriage with you. He may or may not be a victim of powerful forces but clearly he is never going to marry you.
3. He shows you that he is in love with another type of woman. A guy that is never going to marry you has settled for another. You are not what he really wants but you are better than nothing. He is with you because he doesn't want to be alone but you are not what he wants for a long term commitment or marriage. He is therefore never going to marry you until he losses all hope of ever getting the kind of girl that he wants. He will hold on to you as a backup plan but he will be extremely reluctant to move the relationship forward into marriage as he will be waiting for 'her'...the one he really desires and wants. Facing the reality that he is waiting for another can be extremely painful but if this is your situation then denial just hurts you and keeps you in a dead relationship with someone who doesn't think you are worthy. Facing reality helps you decide whether to break it off with him so as to give room for the possibility of another man to come into your life or to continue with him and to reduce the expectations you have of him.
4. He lets you know that he has made certain wrong assumptions about you. A guy that is never going to marry you may have certain preconceptions about you. He may believe that you want to do other things with your life instead of marrying him or he may think that you would never marry someone like him or he may not know how important marriage is to you. You need to clearly communicate with him so that he knows exactly what you want from life and from your relationship with him. If you do not make it clear then you will grow increasingly angry and he will go about blissfully ignorant of what it is that you want. Do not assume that he knows that you want him to marry you; be clear and precise and don't hint at it as he may never understand your hints and suggestions. Be clear and forthright!
A guy whose commitment you want but who seems to be on a different commitment channel from you must be faced honestly and candidly. You must take an honest look at your guy and your relationship to understand what it is that is prompting his lack of commitment so that you can deal with it appropriately.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Find Out The Reason Your Partner May Not be Listening

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ne of the most frustrating issues that we're confronted with at one time or another in our relationships is when we keep repeating something, but don't receive an acceptable answer, or any answer at all. You believe that you've made your position clear. You've been saying the same thing over and over, but nothing changes. Your frustration may even turn into anger because now you think he or she is downright ignoring you. Things may even escalate to the point of a blow-up when you finally start screaming at your mate, "Didn't you hear what I said?" Well, the answer is probably "yes". So now you're really mad because your partner admitted to hearing you, but you still didn't get a response, or was given the wrong response. Here is what went wrong. Your partner may have heard, but was not listening to you. That's right -- there is a difference between hearing and listening.
Hearing is the reception of sound to the ear. Nothing more has to happen in order to hear. So, even though you may have repeated something over and over to your mate, he or she may have received sound only. For a number of reasons, once whatever you said reached the ear of your mate, nothing more happened. Something that you said cause them to immediately shut down and they could not or were not willing to concentrate on whatever you said in order to process it and respond to you. Don't get mad because you now need to know the reason for the "shut down". It could be that he or she didn't understand what was being said and were too embarrassed to acknowledge that he or she just didn't get it. It could be that he or she didn't agree with you, but were trying to keep the peace by not responding. Whatever the reason, you need to know before you react. So be candid with your mate and ask why the non-response. Ask if he or she understands what you are saying, all the while assuring them that you are willing to provide a more detailed explanation if it makes them feel better or makes things more clear. If there is any chance the subject-matter is sensitive and could cause embarrassment, lead off with acknowledging that the conversation may be uncomfortable (you've just put them at ease), but embarrassment is not what you are trying to cause. You want to have a meaningful exchange with them in order to avoid or erase any embarrassment. Now if your mate is non-responsive because your conversation is abusive, disrespectful, or condescending, then you shouldn't expect them to listen to you. This type of conversation is just offensive sound and does not deserve anyone's concentration or processing.
Now when your mate is listening to you, several things are going on because listening is more than receiving sound. It is a conscious choice to concentrate on the sound received and to further process it for certain purposes, including responding. People listen whenever something of importance is being said. They listen when the conversation is complimentary, interesting, and stimulating. People listen to information they believe will help them in some way. Even when the news isn't good, your mate may be willing to listen based on your delivery. We constantly hear the phrase, "it's not what you said, but how you said it." This reaffirms that good piece of advice that says we must work at our delivery (how you say it) whenever we're trying to resolve issues in our relationships. You can be candid, but compassionate; blunt but blameless; direct, but delicate; honest, but humble. If we want our relationship with our mate to involve listening rather than just hearing, then we must be conscious of what we are saying and how we're saying it. When your mate is listening, they may not respond verbally. However, you will know they heard you when they respond with a change, an improvement, or even by discontinuing an offense act or conversation. This happens not only because they heard you, but they also listened to you.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Learn How to Do It! No Magic Spells Or Potions

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Rescue your relationship using actual and sensible options that will help you get back on track with your relationship, no magic spells or potions. The things that might make or break a relationship are love, trust, and respect. The relationship will be doomed if considering removing one of these necessities. Use one or all these relationship techniques to help rescue your relationship if your relationship is rocky.
Lack of romance is one good reason why some relationships die. Those unbelievable butterflies and emotions of good pleasure that happen whenever you first meet and fall in love, don't last. After the incredible passion and pleasure, a relationship settles into a more calm and normal interval of stability and consistency. During this time every day routines can seem boring, especially in comparison with how exciting all of it felt whenever you two first met and began dating.
The factor you need to bear in mind is that this initial rush and infatuation isn't true love and is not sustainable. The hope is that this era transitions right into a deeper abiding kind of love. Here are some ways to nurture the abiding kind of love that lasts.
The type of love that may help rescue your relationship and take it to subsequent levels. Exemplify one of the best qualities that make relationships work. Be honest, compassionate, loyal, understanding, accepting, forgiving and trusting. Remember that neither of you are perfect and each of you will make mistakes.
Rescue Your Relationship with A Clear Understanding
Be open and sincere with one another in a caring and optimistic manner. Address grievances or problems before they get out of hand. An unresolved concern that is not communicated might be revealed in other ways and is prone to result in you having issues such as resentment, anger and hurt. If you are not sure about how to rescue your relationship from having these issues, talk it over with your partner.
No one is perfect. Imperfections in a mate or relationship don't mean that the relationship is doomed to fail. The truth is, it is a chance to learn about each other’s weaknesses, settle for them and grow, each as people and as a couple. Doing so helps construct trust in each other, plus shows your compassion and understanding. One thing that rescue relationship counselors do is to recommend the couple take a break from certain area of communication.
If communication isn’t working well, maybe not speaking about negative issues could also be the most effective resolution after all. Avoiding heated conversations doesn't imply backing out of something. It's just proof of one's respect and love for one another. By doing this, the mind is cleared from a whole lot, allowing rationality and practicality to come back into the scene. Be thankful and be there for each other.
Live life to its fullest and spend each moment being the best you can be. When one is feeling down, the other should be the shoulder for them to cry on. If your mate is feeling good, take part, assist them and congratulate them and be enjoyable too. Have fun together. Working on a relationship doesn't have to be hard, demanding, and boring.

Monday, December 19, 2011

Three Rules

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ave you ever been somewhere, and looked at a couple and thought, "What do they see in each other?" Don't fool yourself, happy couples know that true happiness comes from below the surface. There are certain things each must do to ensure the success and growth of their relationship, so it doesn't become stagnant and neglected.
1. Accept responsibility.
One of the biggest pressure's people place on a relationship is expecting their partner to be everything.  Is just that asking for disaster? You can't bring happiness into your relationship if you are personally unhappy in the rest of your life. By accepting responsibility of your own future, it makes it easier in accepting the responsibility you have in contributing to your relationship.
2. Do what you have to do.
Let's be honest, how a happy relationship works has been kicked around since men have been able to put pen to paper. However, at the end of the day it all boils down to what you're willing to do for it. If you want to be happy with your partner ensure you are BOTH doing all that is necessary to make it work, because relationship is work. Sometimes, you may feel like it's not your problem, or not your issue, but if it's a concern to you or your partner, you both must be willing to work together to ensure of your happiness.
3. Talk, and talk some more.
I can't tell you how imperative being able to communicate effectively will make things better and take your relationship to another level. You have to listen to your partner and do the things that will make them happy. Listening is learning. Loving is living. Learn to listen!
So these are three rules to happiness.  Use them every day to make your relationship the very best it can be. I would love to hear what you do to make your relationship be the very best it can be. Share your story, and just perhaps, you'll give someone the key to their happiness.

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Ways to Create Closeness

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You come across some articles occasionally that marriage world over is on the decline. Although many people may not want to get married they do yearn to be in caring meaningful relationships. Here are five tips for creating closeness:
1. Make sure that your words and actions are aligned
When you say one thing and then do something different or do not follow through, trust is destroyed. Whenever there is an inconsistency between your words and actions it gets in the way of creating closeness. It is hard to trust someone when they are not truthful. Trust has to be built and protected.
2. Think of both of you as being having great value
Respect is fundamental to creating a loving intimate relationship. I am referring to seeing each other as having great worth. When you believe that you both have great worth you also accept that each of you brings unique strengths to the relationship.
3. Be sure to say you are sorry
In caring a relationship it is important to take responsibility to apologize when you know you have said or done something that has upset the other. It takes little effort to say the words "I am sorry" but it will mean a lot to your relationship if each is able to apologize.
4. When you disagree, look for solutions
Two people are going to see things differently. It is healthy to speak from the heart and share your thoughts... However, if you are talking about something that affects both of you, be sure to arrive at a solution that both can support. It is more important that you resolve the issue in a satisfactory manner rather than insisting on your way.
5. Remember that intimacy has to be built
Intimacy occurs in relation to another. Your relationship will grow in closeness when you care about each other's dreams and when you cooperate and support each other. Ask yourself are you being love worthy? To be love worthy means that you take full responsibility to be the kind of person who is able to both give and receive love.

Signs That A Guy Likes You

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en would never admit this, but, the truth is that they don't really know how to tell women that they like them. When it comes to expressing their feelings, they are pretty clumsy. Men never know what the right thing to say is and it's pretty difficult to tell if they are really interested in you or they are just playing a game. You need to be pretty good at reading between the lines to find out if the guy next to you is just putting in practice some dating tips to get you in bed or he really likes you.
Men who just want to spend some time with you and then to move on won't be consistent in their behavior. They will get bored of pleasing you sooner or later and you will notice their interest in you decreasing. On the other hand, men who like you and want to turn casual dating into a long term relationship are doing some things that actually transmit you this message. They won't declare their love for you out loud, but they will let you know.
He Is Happy to Be with You
If the guy you are dating is in a good mood every time you go out together and if he has a smile on his face when he meets you, you have high chances of finding a man who likes you. He might not admit that you are the reason of his good mood, but you have to look for clues in his body language. This says more than a thousand words sometimes. No one is happy without a reason and if he is happy during your date, it means that you are the reason.
He Tries to Make You Happy
A man that treats you right is a man who likes you. Being polite and attentive to your needs means that he cares about you and he wants to make you feel good. If he pays attention to the fact that you need him to carry your bag or that you need a handkerchief, you are lucky and you found a man that wants you to be happy.
He Listens to You
You can also consider yourself lucky if you notice that he pays attention to what you say. Men aren't listening to you unless they like you. If he remembers your favorite colours or your favourite love poem even though you slightly mentioned them in a conversation, it means that he does his best to be on the same wavelength with you and to please you.
He Stays in Touch with You
Another sign that he likes you is the fact that you hear from him often. He calls to see how you are or he happens to be around your office when it's lunch time. He wants to spend time with you and he wouldn't want this unless he likes you.
All the things he does can help you tell if he's worth your time or not. Look for the signs and you can tell right from the start if you have a change of living a true love together or if you'd better find another guy.

Friday, December 16, 2011

The Secret to Great Sex In a Relationship

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he secret to great sex is no secret at all. In fact, in the beginning of most relationships, we naturally do the things that stimulate a great sex life. During that time it is often spontaneous, magical, and downright exciting. It is after the relationship builds and stabilizes, that couples can find themselves wondering how to get that magic back and are looking to spice up their relationship. So let's take a look at those special ingredients that make the magic happen naturally.
As a relationship begins to take shape, there is a bit of mystery in both minds. This mystery keeps the brain actively wondering what is next, and thinking about what has already happened. This is why new couples can't stop thinking about each other in the beginning. The early stage couple will play a bit more, pushing the limits of "good and bad" as the two people come closer to each other forming the long term relationship. Each new experience they share together adds to the brain activity, as they wonder what is next, and reveling in the moments that just passed. This makes for really great sex, as you are both eager to see each other.
Attention and affection are at their all time high in the beginning of a relationship. You hold hands, open doors, steal kisses, and act a little naughty when alone (or even when not alone). The amount of attention builds up and enhances the sexual desires of both people. This is one area that should always be maintained, no matter how many years you are together. The level and intensity of intimacy will always have a direct effect on the quality and quantity of sex. If someone is wanted when not in the bedroom, the bedroom will become very cold. This is why lust is so common in the beginning of a relationship. And why sex can happen anywhere when you are together.
Respect is another major element in someone's sex life. There has to be a certain amount of respect for both individuals to maintain a relationship. If one party does things to lose that level of respect, the relationship will soon follow a path of destruction. Ugly people will not enjoy fulfilling and rewarding relationships, and sex will never be more than sex. Great sex will always elude them, as they don't even respect themselves. “Ugly” means being ugly inside. It’s not in the physical sense because everyone is beautiful; the difference is your attitude to life
So, to summarize how to have great sex:
You never have to lose that hot sexy lustful feeling that rocked your early relationship. By understanding the key ingredients that came naturally in the beginning and making sure they remain a part of your relationship, your sex life will always be incredible.
The hot foreplay you acted on at the beginning will carry on. Make sure to touch and play with each other, and not let age or time together matter. Keep the relationship young and alive by creating and acting on those same impulses and desires that kept both of you on each other's minds.
Be romantic, and keep your partner wondering what is next. You can keep the air of mystery alive even after 50 years of marriage. Romance is just a collection of small gestures that are focused on minute details of your loved one. Make the time to think of new ways to surprise your special someone, even if it is to call and say hi during a busy day at work.
Treat everyone who touches your life with respect and with care, especially your partner. Not only will this make you beautiful to your partner, but will make you beautiful to yourself as well. Men and women both find a beautiful person on the inside to be desirable. Keep yourself this way, and enjoy the rewards. If you don't like who you are, no one else will either.
Love, like life, is what you make of it. So make the most of it, and enjoy everything it has to offer. Be all you can be to yourself and to your sweetheart, and you will always have great sex together. Great sex comes from strong emotions, feelings, physical contact, and admiration. Touch on all of these ingredients and a wonderfully healthy sex life will always follow.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

The Kind of Women Men Don't want To be Around

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ome women were gifted with a beautiful face, but their relationships always tend to fail miserably... Why? Because they all seem to have some common habits, traits and qualities that would scare off men in general!
No man wants to be with women who take everything from men for granted and never give anything back in return. Some women expect men to pamper and take care of them, to pay for their rents, to buy them presents, and do them favour, but on the other hand, they wouldn't do anything for their man. This is commonly known as the "Princess Syndrome" and most men will not want to be around such women. Love is at its best when both man and woman are both contributing their love and efforts to make their relationship or marriage work! Give and receive in love shall be a two-way traffic, if a woman only receive but does not give, most men will not stand it for very long. Over time, they will grow tired and start to drift away from the relationship or marriage. Men are quite serious about the first date and how a woman behave in the beginning of a relationship, if a woman plays too much game, testing men such as being late on purpose and playing hard to get, most men would just give up. Men also hate annoying women, and fear women who spell trouble. Below are examples of some women's habits and qualities that men dislike:
Women who expect men to do things for them but never give anything in return.
Women who think she is the hottest thing in the world and men should worship her.
Women, who are cheap and doesn't spend any money on her man.
Women who think being late is no big deal and claiming she was just being fashionably late.
Women, who are close minded and always gossip about others, including her friends.
Women, who worship designer brands and expect men to always buy for them.
Women who play love games in certain ways that make men feel disrespected.
Women who love to start arguments and have frequent mood swings.
Women, who talk crap about their ex-boyfriend, if at all there was any.
Women who are gold diggers and require high-maintenance.
Women who thinks she is better than everyone else.
Women who are passive, negative and hysterical.
Women who are likely to get drunk.
Women who always act like a smart ass.
Most men do not want to be around women with the above qualities! Some men would date them but they would never consider marrying them. In the end, when it comes to marriage and finding a lifetime partner, men and women both tend to look for someone who is genuine, sincere, loving, caring and down to earth. After all, no one wants to be around someone who is selfish and demanding.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Love and Resilience

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pening yourself to love not only allows you to enter into nurturing a relationship; it also promotes good health and well-being. This effect can often be seen even to the naked eye. We describe someone who is in love as "glowing" because their skin takes on a beautiful lustre and everything about them seems to come alive, to dance and to sparkle. A person in love becomes radiant.
Someone who is in love will find that they feel more vibrant and animated. They can barely sleep and live in a whirl of excitement and anticipation. They seem to have an endless store of energy and nothing appears to be too much trouble.
The aspects that are less obvious to the naked eye are more obvious to those who are involved in the medical profession. Medical research has identified an irrevocable connection between good a relationship and better health. The better your relationship and the more supportive your home environment the healthier you are likely to be and the longer you will live.
These later mentioned benefits of opening yourself to love frequently go unnoticed by the majority of people who just assume their good health is due to good genes, healthy living or just good luck. They are a long-term effect of love and so not so easy to connect in our minds. Cause and effect in this case does not appear to us in an obvious manner.
There is an undeniable connection between love and resilience. We need love in the same way as a flower blossoms in sunlight. Without love, we wither. We experience love in many forms. To have a one to one close and loving relationship is only one aspect of love. To treat everyone and everything you come across in life with a loving intent is equally important.
Love and peace are the opposites of anger and hate. One nurtures whilst the other destructs. Love is like sunshine as compared to the volcanic lava and ash of anger and hate. Which would you prefer to bathe in, or to be bathed in?
It is actually your preference, your choice that dictates this particular outcome. What you give out you get back. Give freely of love and you will usually receive love in return, and you should also receive a big pay check in the future in terms of good health.
Love brings both happiness and good health. There is any number of good reasons why we should not harden our hearts to love. There are very few reasons, if any, to support an opposite choice. If fear or ideas about self-protection hold you back from opening yourself to love, then it is important that you realize that you can choose to overcome those blockages.
Hypnosis is a great help in assisting one who wishes to overcome fears, build confidence, feel happier and ultimately open your mind to love.