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Tuesday, January 25, 2011

In Relationships Little Things Are Big Stuff

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Little sayings that, if adhered to, make big differences. We've all heard them, you know, those sayings that make so much sense. Some of these include, "Less is more" or "Concentrate on the small things and the big things will take care of themselves".
It's the little things in a relationship that mean the most. Little thoughts, little changes of attitude and little actions make a big difference in the relationship with your significant other.
How important is it that the special one in your life knows you love and care for them? Well let's start with this, think about the last time was your sweetheart whispered in your ear that they love you or how much they have missed you. I bet you can remember this and all the emotions that it stirred up inside you. That little thing left a huge impact on you and in your memory. Yet if you can't recall a time when something like this has happened, then it's probably because you haven't had enough "little things" and haven't been told enough "I love you enough" or you just don't listen or remember. This again proves how important the little sayings and actions mean so much to us humans.
Many couples go through life without experiencing these relationship-altering and life-changing little things. It's not about the big house, the monthly income, the vacations, the presents. Those are important yet little things such as learning how to communicate in a healthy manner and expressing the small stuff that they may already know but need to hear more often then we express them.
Maybe you've never been one to offer the little things that mean so much. Maybe you don't know how to express what your partner needs to hear. How do you communicate how you feel and what they mean to you without feeling and sounding awkward? How do you do it without their laughing and not believing since this is such a new thing for the both of you? And how do you encourage them to do the same for you? By your leading and example, by the little things that you say and do the one who has your heart will respond and react in ways that you can't imagine. There's an old saying that goes you must first be the change you want to see in this world. This is totally paraphrased but totally relevant in relationships and communication too.
Small things that mean so much are crucial in building relationships. You can start with some of these ideas:
Leave a small note expressing to them what they mean to you or leave a message stating, "Remind me later to tell you something that is very important". Some people like to write notes and letters of expressions. Others like to tell face-to face. Either way little notes and messages mean a great deal to the receiver as well as the giver. By placing this note in their briefcase or on their computer.
Try a small and innocent as a gesture; a little nudge, a little flirt. Just like you did when you first got together. A rush of the hand as you walk by, a big smile, a squeeze of the shoulder or a quick neck rub or shoulder massage can speak so much. Not in a way that screams, "Let's get it on" but a gentle "Hi there." An added bonus is that all those little things may lead up to "Let's get it on" later and that can't hurt either!
Bring home a single flower or their favorite newspaper or magazine. It doesn't have to be a huge gift with a big price tag on some special holiday. Those little thoughts and actions for no reason at all on an ordinary day will make such a big difference and make your relationship extraordinary.
Sometimes what we do with the smallest of efforts makes the greatest of differences. It is indeed the smallest act of love and kindness that we teach that special person not only what they mean to us but what would mean lots to us. Just don't do these expecting something in return. Do the small things not to build you up but to build your relationship.

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