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Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Ways to Communicate Effectively In A Relationship

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As we know, communication is an important part in a relationship. Poor communication will destroy a relationship while good and well-established communication will make our relationship more harmonious. Ineffective communication can lead to misunderstanding and conflict. It's often we hear couples who are arguing or breaking their own relationship because of miscommunication. This is a proof that communication in relationship can't be taken lightly
Communication is not just about how we speak but also facial and body expressions, and our attitude while we are listening. It is because communication is a two-way street. Here are some guidelines to communicate well in relationship:
1. Speak Clearly
Speak with the appropriate tone. Don't be too loud (because it's like you are shouting). Use simple words instead of using terms that are difficult to understand.
2. Focus on the topic
If you're talking about certain topic for example your partner is talking about his/her problem with his/her friend, don't arbitrarily change the topic because it would be very annoying. Stay focus on the topic that you're both discussing until it is completely finished. This will make your partner feel you care about the problem and willing to listen.
3. Don't always talk. Listen.
You have one mouth and two ears for a reason. As I stated earlier, communication is a two-way street. When talking about certain problem, let your partner express his/her opinions and views. People who just want to be heard are selfish people. Listen to what he/she said with enthusiasm and expressive gesture. Don't be reluctant or do other things when your partner is talking because he/she will feel offended. Remember! You should really listen, not just with blank stares because you're thinking something else, or thinking about what would you say afterwards.
4. Honest in words
Be honest in every word you say. Remember! Honesty is always painful but lie always kill. It's better to say what really happened rather than piling up the lies that will become a boomerang for you one day.
5. Don't always get defensive
Get defensive means you always defend your arguments or interpretations of something (even sometimes with reasons that make no sense) without giving attention to others' opinions. You can't be the one who is always right in everything. Being a stubborn person won't make you and your relationship better. Avoid words like "I don't want to know, You must..." (this is an example of selfishness.)
6. Choose the right time and place
When you want to talk about certain issues that are private or sensitive, do when you feel "this is the right time to tell".  This is to ensure you can focus on the problem and no other problems are sacrificed. Also, choose a more comfortable place to avoid interference from outside.

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