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Tuesday, April 19, 2011

How Men Can Survive A Breakup

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Often they do the wrong things. By "wrong things," I mean the things that don't work when trying to win your ex girl back.
They end up pushing their ex girlfriend or wife away, when they desperately want to win her back. This is not because of any ill intention; they're just reacting from their gut emotions.
Men, who are in a breakup relationship, are often thinking things like: "What am I going to do without her? She was the love of my life. Things will never be the same. Losing her makes me realize how much I love her. I just need a second chance."
Suddenly you're remembering all of the good times.
Once you've accepted that the breakup is real, most men move into the desperation stage. This is perfectly normal, but not in your best interest. After realizing that you can't avoid the breakup. It's the "OMG, she's really gone-now what do I do?"
Feeling desperate is normal at this stage of breaking up. However, acting desperate is very unattractive to the woman you're trying to keep. Don't feel guilty for feeling desperate. You may not know it, but every man who has an unwanted breakup goes through this...whether he does or doesn't takes desperate actions.
The best you can do--with the desperation you feel--is to make it as short-lived as possible. You may feel it; just don't act on it.
When you get yourself to a better place, you can talk to her about your relationship without being defensive and without making outlandish promises you can't keep. But you need some time.
Don't be buying her gifts, making promises to change or using any "hard-sell" techniques. Your urge is going to be: to call her, to follow her--maybe even to run into her at the gym or in a favorite restaurant. These strategies will only push her farther away and keep her from realizing what it will be like to be without you in her life.
DO start taking care of you. Get to the gym. 
You know, there is grieving that goes on here. So a little bit of extra sleeping, falling asleep to the TV are all fairly normal. Give you self permission to do this for a week or so, but don't give into it.
Knowing how to survive a breakup does not mean that you're accepting that the breakup is permanent. If you can resist some of your initial, emotional urges, you will have a much better chance at winning your ex girlfriend back.

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