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Friday, April 15, 2011

What You Must Do to Have a Good Relationship

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A good relationship is one where you experience some significant expressions of love or as they say 'you are loved well'. It is a relationship that brings out some of the very best in you and releases in you some wonderful things. You feel deeply for someone else and that motivates you to do and be great. You are able to achieve much more together as a couple than as two separate people. There is some synergy when you come together as a couple that makes both of you better than when you were alone. Together you are somehow more than two individuals. But how do you have a good relationship?
1. Affirm your partner. See the great things that make up your partner and let them know that you notice each quality and that you appreciate how each quality just makes your partner so special. To have a good relationship you must pay attention to your partner so that you can notice the great gifts and qualities that they have. And then you can be their greatest cheerleader.
2. Strengthen them when they lose heart. Life is hard and there will be bumps in you and your partner's life and you need to stand with them and encourage them when the hard times come. Again be alert so that you don't add to their stress during difficult moments.
3. Fight fair. All couples fight but those who have a good relationship fight about the issue at hand and do not belittle or abuse or disrespect each other during the fight. They deal with each conflict as it arises and they resolve it so that they don't keep rehashing it over and over again; once they deal with it, it's done. They also let their partner know when something bothers them and the partner hears them so that they don't walk around with hurt feelings pretending all is well when it is not.
4. Love your partner. Learn what makes your partner feel loved and appreciated and then use your imagination and creativity to love them in those areas. Don't just do the traditional boring old thing but stretch yourself and really spice up the traditional or do something exciting and memorable for them.
5. Believe in your partner. Believe in your partners abilities. Whatever they do as a career believe that they are doing an awesome job at it. If they are learning a new skill believe that they can do it and let them know that you are with them 101%.
6. Trust your partner. To have a good relationship you must trust your partner's character and that they will not hurt you. This will of necessity take time as trust is a two way street that is built over time. As you get to know your partner you test their character a little each day and if they prove themselves then you trust them a little bit more. It is unwise to trust someone whose character you do not know as it's giving something precious to someone who may trample on it with little concern, care or appreciation. A little like throwing pearls to pig's?
A good relationship requires deliberate effort and a daily alertness to your partner so that you can build your relationship and not destroy it.

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