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Sunday, June 12, 2011

This Short Course Might Help You Choose a Mate For Life

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Research on relationships indicate you're not likely to meet Mr. or Miss Right  in a bar or a gym.
 It can happen, but mostly you find someone who just wants sex. 
Some of us meet through work.
If you do meet through work be cautious of the problems of having conflicts if one of you works for the other or if there is possible conflict of interest.
Once you start meeting potential mates, look for one who entertains you, makes you laugh, think, and would make a great parent for the children you will have. Ask yourself this, if you had children with this person would you want your kids to call them "Mom" or "Dad"? If you say "yes" to those concerns, you can move forward in the relationship.
If you say "no", back away or at least realize that you are in it for sex and attention, not for a relationship. Without the qualities necessary for you to imagine co-parenting with this person, you should move on.
If you have found The One, take a deep breath and cross your legs. Having sex too early will, ironically, ruin up the relationship. You don't gain much by playing too hard to get in other areas of the relationship, but sexually its best to go very slowly.
Start developing a friendship. Long hours of talking, walking, playing and even traveling together will help you decide if this has real potential. It takes a minimum of 3 months to become good friends. In that time learn everything you can about each other.
How does your new friend treat his parents, especially the opposite sex parent? How does she relate to her siblings, especially the opposite sex sibling?  Chances are if they are not treating them well, you will get the same treatment later on. Same with how they treat or talk about ex's.
Somewhere in the  period of association you will learn about their work habits, how they treated their last boyfriend or girlfriend, if they live up to their expressed values, if they have substance abuse problems, or if they get violent or angry in a way you can't tolerate. By going slowly you will begin to know who they really are or so.
In 3 months you will know who you have. Don't make a baby, or other long term commitments to each other or move in together until you are really certain this is The One. Character, integrity, intelligence, beliefs, the ability to show affection and a positive attitude toward life are just a start.
After you have determined all that, you can uncross your legs.

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