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Monday, June 20, 2011

Ways That Midlife Women Sabotage Their Chances of Finding Love

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Midlife women who want to find love often feel discouraged, frustrated and lonely. Some may have given up hope of ever finding the love, companionship and intimacy they crave. By the time women reach midlife it can be even more challenging to meet their ideal partner. By this time, most women have been hurt, disappointed or worse.
It's a common belief that the difficulty lies with the men out there or that there is some major flaw in the cosmos, yet there are many behaviors and self-limiting beliefs that may prevent women from finding true love. These beliefs and behaviors can literally block them from having the love they want and deserve.
Here are some of the most common:

1) Lack of Belief That Someone is Out There.
It is amazing how powerful the mind is. If a woman believes something like "all the good ones are taken" or "I am not loveable" or "there is no-one out there for me" her mind will gather evidence to reinforce these beliefs. Thus, women can become their own self-fulfilling prophecies.
2) Settling for wrong relationship
Many smart, successful women stay in relationships that are unsatisfying and even unhealthy because they are afraid there is nothing better out there. They fear that if they let go, they won't find anyone else. This can be damaging, can waste her valuable time and make her unavailable to her "Mr. Right".
3) Holding onto the Past.
In order to be open to love in the present, there are often things from the past that need to be cleared. Depending on what the past holds, this may require therapy, forgiveness, self-awareness or all of the above. It is worth doing this work to create the space in your heart and life to be receptive to giving and receiving love.
4) Ambivalence.
Many women say they want to find love, yet when you look at what has prevented them from finding it so far,  you find considerable ambivalence. Some women are not even aware that this is the case. This can be a defense mechanism or an indication of competing priorities. It is important to be brutally honest about what may be hindering growth, opportunity and progress in this area of life.
5) No Room for Love.
Many women who claim they would like to be in a committed relationship are so busy with careers, projects, family or other interests that they scarcely have time to go on a date, let alone have time to nurture and sustain a healthy relationship. They need to create a shift in priorities to make some room for someone else.
6) Isolation.

 Be open to new experiences. Create opportunities to find joy in your life right now. This is very attractive. Every social interaction and opportunity holds the potential for meeting someone new or someone who knows an interesting and available man to recommend.
Finding true and meaningful love can be one of the richest, sweetest and most satisfying experiences that life has to offer.

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