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Friday, July 29, 2011

How Do You Allow A Love Relationship In

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Are you one of those people who wants love but is afraid to give it? If your love relationships haven't been all you want them to be it's time to take notice of what you do to keep people away.
Explore what your motives are and why you cause yourself so much angst by holding yourself away from a lover. People often hold back because they're afraid of passionate love relationships and fear hiding deep in their heart makes it virtually impossible to give and accept love. Not wanting to be hurt, you do and say things you don't really mean and then wonder why no one ever loves you enough to stay around.
So often you search out your faults and make them obvious to your partner. After weeks, months, or years of trying to get through your junk, they throw up their hands in frustration and leave you weeping at the door, feeling like a failure once again.
You can change your behavior, but when this "I need you, please stay, I'll change" stuff doesn't pan out and you show by your actions and words you really don't want to change, people go away. No one likes that kind of rejection forever.
Find out why you are so afraid of love and earnestly begin working on yourself. Perhaps some counseling sessions are a beginning, get a paper and write about your fears and longings, explore how deep they go.
You can never change another person, but you can change yourself - if you sincerely want to. Become that loving person you have trapped inside, let your guard down, start to trust people, understand and know there will be bad times, every love relationship has them, it's part of life.
Your fears will vanish as you explore matters of your heart - were you abandoned when you were young; abuse of any kind (emotional, physical, or verbal) can be worked through or gotten rid of; set boundaries for yourself and your loved ones. You have the ability to change your life and banish your fears so you can embrace love.
In 1894, Mark Twain said: "Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody."
Go into your inner being, find your dark side and throw out your hurts, smash your fears one by one.
Throw open the doors of your heart and let fresh air and cleansing light from a new moon wash away the pain of your broken, bruised heart.

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