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Sunday, August 21, 2011

Connect With Your Man's Heart

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ou are loyal and devoted to your man but you want to get or improve your emotional connection with him; you want to communicate with his heart so that you have a stronger heart-to-heart connection. So how do you communicate with a man's heart?
©    Increase your verbal appreciation. To get him to let you into his heart and to be totally committed to you; you need to verbalize your appreciation. You may think he is wonderful and he looks great and his smile makes your day but if it is bottled inside of you then it does nothing for him and it doesn't strengthen your relationship as much as it should. To communicate with a man's heart means that you get him to open his heart more to you. And honest verbal appreciation is a great heart opener. When at odd times of the day you remember his quirky smile or walk or whatever it is; let him know.
©    Reduce your criticism. Nothing shuts up his heart like criticism so tone that down if you want him to open his heart to you. He may not be Mr. Perfect but you do not want your focus to be on all the things that he does wrong. It is human nature to be critical and you must work against your natural tendency to be a critical fault finder. Let him know when he does something that annoys you to no end but avoid him associating you with 'all the things that he can't do' or him seeing you as Ms. Joy-Killer.  Accept that he is not perfect and your criticism will not make him change his ways and may actually make him dig in his heels and stubbornly continue to do something just to prove a point to you. This also makes him shut his heart and harden it to you as he focuses on proving to you that no one made you god in his life.
©    Talk him up! Whenever he does something that you asked or needed done let him know that you appreciate him doing that and being a man of his word. Talk him up so that he catches your vision of him as greater than he actually is right now. Nothing gets a man to open up his heart to you than knowing that you believe he is something that he suspected he was but wasn't sure that he was. Your ability to see greatness in him will get him to open his heart to you and build his commitment to you.
©    Be happy in you and in your life. If your life sucks and nothing in it works then he cannot do anything about it. If you want him to save you from your misery then he will feel frustrated with that insurmountable task and he will thus tend to shut down his heart as he just cannot handle it. You must make peace with yourself and with what you do in life so keep growing as a person in your career, in your relationship and as a person. To communicate with a man's heart requires that you are joyful and confident enough to be able to do that. If you are buried in your own misery and inadequacies then it's hard for you to really focus on anyone else besides yourself.
©    Be on his side or part of his team. Let him know by your words and deeds that you are on his side in life. Resist the temptation to get in on any criticism bandwagon even if it is being done in jest as sometimes it's really not funny having the person you love criticizing you with others. You want him to know with certainty that regardless of what others say or are on his side. You appreciate and love him and believe that he is Mr. Wonderful regardless of what others say. His heart will open to you and his commitment to you will rise.
To communicate with a man's heart requires a deliberate effort on your part especially if you have been together for a while and contempt for him has began to creep into your thoughts and speech. The 5 helps given should get you back on the path to an open heart and commitment from both of you.

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