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Monday, August 29, 2011

Some Simple Strategies to Follow

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Let us start with something simple.
You promise your partner that you will take her out to dinner. You (and take your pick): forget, have a better date, don't feel like it, have no money for a date, did not really mean it, etc. etc. And you also forget to inform her.
What just happened? Simply, you have now committed several errors of omission and commission and perhaps of judgement.
1. You gave no notice of your absence
2. You did not apologize for your bad behavior
3. You broke a promise
4. You made no follow up
5. Maybe you or did not, but did you think of making restitution of some kind?
Unfortunately, simple and unintended omissions of this kind can be fatal to a relationship. So let us examine how we can not only avoid such pitfalls but actually elevate our relationships. Here are some simple to follow rules.
1. Reciprocate:  but do so intelligently. Some people, e.g. try to read other person's mind to guage if the gesture is genuine, what is behind it, how will it cost me and so on and so forth. In most cases a simple reciprocal gesture will suffice. A thank you, a quick smile. This reciprocity is essential because it brings elegance to the relationship.
2. Commitment: Make commitments you can keep. In my example above, the person promising someone a dinner date should have made that commitment only after making sure he could.
3. Follow through: this is very important. Even if the date above had been kept, a follow up with "how did it go, did you like it, I thoroughly enjoyed myself with you" will go a long way to boost the quality of the relationship.
4. Evaluation: relationships need to be evaluated periodically and more important, critically. Go through an honest appraisal of your relationship to see if there is reciprocity, if either party in the relationship is tiring of the relationship and if there are actions to be taken to correct or improve it.

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