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Thursday, September 29, 2011

Reasons Why he Keeps Running From Commitment

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Your partner keeps running from commitment. Maybe for a time you looked the other way because you thought he would eventually change. He hasn't and you've been together long enough for him to know that a commitment is what you desire most in the world. Perhaps you've been trying to drop subtle clues about how you wish he would just propose. Or you may be the type of woman who just throws caution to the wind and speaks her mind by asking her man to marry her. Regardless, nothing has worked to this point and you're still the ever-doting girlfriend who feels unappreciated and unfulfilled. Until you understand why he keeps shying away from the idea of investing himself in a more serious relationship with you, nothing is going to change.
Here are 3 reasons why your partner may be running from commitment with you:
His parents went through a muddy divorce. It's been said that our childhoods shape us and that's often the case when it comes to matters of the heart and our ability to forge ahead with romantic relationships. Many kids go through messy divorces while they are still young enough to not fully grasp what it means. It can impact a child forever if they aren't given the necessary tools to work through what they feel. This may actually be the reason behind your man's reluctance to commit to you. If he witnessed his parents' relationship falling apart before his eyes and he was hit with the emotional shrapnel of that, a commitment just may not be something he's willing to give. Many men and women, for that matter, in this position don't even fully realize the lingering effects of their parents' marital breakdown. You may have to be the one to suggest that, it may be an issue that you two can begin working through together.
He's not in a financial position he's comfortable with. Decades ago there was an expectation that once a couple married, the man would become the sole provider so his wife could stay home to tend to making dinner and raising children. Although many couples now are in a financial position to do just that, the majority of us aren't. Life, in general, is an expensive proposition and it tends to take two salaries to keep a family afloat. If your partner sees himself as the sole monetary hero in your relationship, you may be waiting endlessly for him to pop the question. If he doesn't feel he has the financial stability to provide for you and for any future children the two of you may be blessed with, marriage and commitment won't even be on his radar. Obviously, you can talk to him about the fact that your career is an essential part of your identity and something you're not ready to give up. You need to expect a bit of a discussion if he's views his salary as the gauge for whether or not he can make a serious commitment to you.
He doesn't see you as a long term life partner. Men and women develop feelings in a relationship at different paces. Even though you may be at an emotional point where you're more than ready to make a commitment to him, he may not be in that same position. Although men often initially fall in love faster than women do, it does take longer for a man to invest himself emotionally in the relationship to the point where he's ready to commit himself completely. You can typically tell if your guy is experiencing some hesitation in this regard if he never talks about your future together or he abruptly changes the subject when you begin to bring up marriage or commitment. In this case, your patience may serve you well although you do have to be mindful of the fact that he may never feel as close to you as you do to him.

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