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Thursday, September 22, 2011

Stop Nagging!

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If you were to ask men what is one thing they dislike the most in their beloved women, many of them would probably answer: nagging. The truth is: men simply hate it! Worse, the other side of the coin is that most women would not admit they nag their men. They would call it asking for things to get done or discussing issues. However, let us take a look at the male perspective on what they call "nagging" and what we can do to take it out of our relationships.
Famous writer Robert Stevenson said that "marriage is a long conversation interrupted by several quarrels." This is true to some degree. It is up to us to maintain a balance between the amount of sincere conversation and lengthy quarrels we have in our relationships.
Now, what is nagging for men and how does it differ from requests? The major difference between nagging and simple requests is the tone we use to say them. Interestingly, women sometimes just cannot switch from one tone of speaking to another at frequent intervals of time. Let us say you work on a managerial level and have men working for you. You get used to giving them orders and they have to fulfill them, too.
But when you come back home, it might be hard for you to change the tone and your requests may sound demanding. They sound to your men as orders of the boss, rather than the requests of the loving and beloved woman. At home, men dislike hearing orders; they start rebelling and call it nagging.
Another real example is a mommy, who stays with kids all day long and gets used to repeating things many times to get them through. This tone and manner of speaking might work well with kids, but it would certainly be viewed as nagging for the man. Men hate it when women keep repeating things to them many times. They feel they are forced to act without any consideration of their feelings.
Now why do men hate nagging and what is so aggravating about it for them? It is pretty obvious; they feel restricted, controlled and manipulated by such 'requests'. They become annoyed by constant repetition of telling them what you want them to do.
So where is the way out of this situation and how to turn nagging into requests men would be glad to fulfill? The trick is to change and watch the tone of your requests. Keep it nice and respectful. Avoid giving orders. Try to maintain a balanced tone whenever you need something to be done by your spouse and remember to talk in casual tones instead of a demanding one.
Stop repeating things many times even though it may be hard for you to control yourself. Men do forget the things women ask or tell them to do. Moreover, they may keep on forgetting things no matter how many times you ask. Try to find some more effective ways of communication than nagging. Try to write down the list of things to be done in a scribbling pad which you may hand over to your man. Alternatively, you may also use phones for sending SMS messages though make sure to be conscious also of the tone of your message.
Most of all, keep it simple and short. Prioritize what you want done and if possible request it one at a time or discuss issue in the same manner. If you flood him with several tasks or bring up several issues at once in a discussion, they will see that as nagging and tune you out. Nothing will get done or resolved. Adjust your approach a bit, be conscious of the tone you're using and keep it respectful, and you should find your man more receptive and willing to cooperate.

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