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Tuesday, November 1, 2011

One Sided Love

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Loving someone who doesn't love you is like reaching for the star you know you'll never reach it, but you have to keep trying.... unknown
Love is powerful. It fills one with positive energy. Love colours one's world with everything bright and cheerful. That is if love is shared mutually. It is in our human nature to love and want to be loved, although there are cases of unrequited love. No one can be forced to love someone. But so many do fall into a one-sided relationship to their own peril. Yes, it happens that some get into one-sided relationships. That love is not mutually shared. Simply, the one who loves is not loved back.
Shakespeare wrote: "Love is the most beautiful of dreams and the worst of nightmares."
Falling in love with someone who does not love you in return can be distracting, compelling and consuming. This results in an unhealthy relationship and lifestyle, physically, emotionally and mentally. If this spins out of control, this can result in depression, loss of interest, unfulfilled life, a broken heart and there are reported cases of suicide.
But- loving someone should not be this painful. Before making a commitment, make sure love is mutual and reciprocal. It does not make sense to fall in love with someone who cannot love you back. There are those who desperately long for someone to fill the emptiness in their hearts. This quest can lead to falling for the first person who comes along, and blindly, it feels like love.
Can you avoid falling in this trap?
If you are feeling vulnerable, dealing with divorce, death of a loved one, or you are afraid to face the years ahead alone, or you need to get even, and find someone on the rebound.
Here are some points that can help:
Can you accept if he/she is not into you?
Love is indeed romantic, we read books about romantic love, we swoon when we watch romantic movies, we get dreamy and bleary-eyed. Ahhh... the thought of deep love is fulfilling, uplifting and even ecstatic. But- you have to be practical and realistic. Get over your fantasy of romance.
Glimpse the future and all the possibilities
Can you look back with pleasant memories if you keep up with this one-sided love? Are you happy? Emotionally, mentally and physically, how will your life be if you are stuck in a one-sided relationship? There is enough stress that fills our plate; unrequited love overpowers all other stress.
It takes time
It takes time to gain your confidence and learn to love and trust again. It does happen.
Hold the highest vision of yourself
Nothing is wrong with you. It is not you- sometimes it just happens that the other person just cannot get into you. Believe that you have a lot to share, to offer to someone who can love you back, love you for who you are.

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