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Saturday, November 5, 2011

Relationship Communication

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How often do I hear people complaining about one another? Too often! The sad part of this is the fact that I'm completely convinced that 9 out of 10 people in a relationship are simply misunderstood.
How are they misunderstood?
Here is an example of how people are misunderstood when they communicate in a relationship;
A man and a woman are getting ready to go to the movies. They both say, "I have nothing to wear!" This is where the communication breakdown begins, because they both know they do in fact have something to wear! The problem however, is the fact that the man actually meant he can't find anything clean to wear, and the woman actually meant she can't find anything to wear that she likes!
Both parties in the example above meant something completely different than what they actually said. The words out of their mouths were taken too literally. Communication has more to do with, body language, facial expressions, and how the person said what they said and very little to do with the actual words being said.
Knowing this about communication can make it that much tougher to actually know what the other person is actually trying to communicate, but it does not have to be this way!
How can people fix their relationship communication problems?
First of all, it needs to be realized that relationships are work, and this includes the communication process! All good things come from sacrifice, hard work, commitment, dedication, and heart!
Look at professional athletes, successful business people, great musicians, or even actors and actresses, for example. These people succeed at what they are doing, because of sacrifice, hard work, commitment, dedication, and heart. Was it tough for them to succeed at what they were doing? At times, of course it was! However, they knew what they wanted, and they pushed through the tough times to get to the good ones! If they would have given up, they would have failed! Our relationships are no different!
What does this mean?
It means that I am encouraging and challenging everybody who reads this article, to treat their relationships, and how they communicate within them, no differently than how a successful businessman treats his work!
Be willing and ready to commit yourself, work hard, dedicate yourself, sacrifice some things, and give your relationship everything you have to give it! If you don't, your relationship may very well fall apart, and ultimately FAIL!
Some things to try, to help with communicating;
1) Really LISTEN to the other person.
2) Before you respond in any way to what the other person is saying, think about what they may have really meant first!
3) Ask them if what you think they meant, is in fact what they meant.
4) Be quiet, and LISTEN again!
5) Repeat the above steps a few times, and you'll start to see what the other person was actually trying to communicate with you! Don't be surprised if what they meant wasn't quite what they actually said initially.
6) Show understanding and do not be upset at the other person for not communicating correctly with you the first time! Good communication is learned with time, and not only that, but good communication has just as much to do with the one receiving the message, as it does with the one giving the message!

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