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Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Ways to Maintaining a Good Relationship

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ll relationships have their ups and downs
It is normal for a relationship to change its course over time; for the sexual attraction and desire to diminish; for the couple to getting used to one another; for routine to settle in.
There are those who, at this point, think to themselves "Oh well, that's the way relationships are"; "This is what is to be expected". Each one begins to focus more on his or her own projects; work, hobbies, - all of which they might have neglected to one degree or another while the relationship was "hot and rolling".
This is when, in some relationships, love-affairs and betrayals begin. "After all, monogamy is not a natural way of living but a moral imposed by society", those who are unfaithful argue; "That's a way to insert some pepper to life", they suggest; "Why not do something to fight the boredom of my relationship", they advocate; and even "If my partner doesn't fulfil my needs anymore, I have no other choice", they conclude. People come up with endless excuses to "justify" their behaviour.
Yet, many relationships manage to escape the cheating and betrayal episodes.
It is possible to maintain a satisfying relationship over time
Not every relationship is "doomed" to change course over time and for the couple to lose their warmth, care, interest, love and appreciation to one another. It is possible to maintain a long-lasting good relationship, even to improve the connection, the openness, the love and the mutual respect. All it takes is:
1) Your motivation, as a couple, motivation to doing so, guided by the belief that this is for the good of both of you and the well-being of the relationship, and
2) Your daily and continuous practicing of "being tuned" to one another.
The couple's awareness
This is where your couple's awareness settles in: your attitudes; reactions and behaviours towards one another can make or kill the relationship. Understanding that you must be cautious about the ways in which you react and behave towards one another; that you must be careful not to "push" each other's "soft points". By now you know each other well enough to know how to avoid unnecessary fights, arguments and conflicts. By now you have a long history together which has taught you what "works" and "doesn't work" between the two of you.
These are my recommended 10 ways of maintaining a satisfying relationship over time.
1. Come towards one another (rather than trying to constantly prove who's right);
2. Mutually respect and appreciate one another (rather than disregarding and "putting the other down");
3. Accept and support your partner's perception, thinking and belief-system even when these are different than yours especially when it is for the good of both of you instead of arguing unnecessarily. 4. Respect each other's space 
5. Show and give emotional support to one another (rather than not caring and ignoring the other);
6. Praise and reinforce (rather than be critical and negative);
7. Constantly express your love (rather than expressing hate in aggressive and abusive ways or be indifferent);
8. Keep the communication going: Listen to and talk with each other (rather than giving the "silence treatment" and/or escaping to the computer and/or the TV);
9. Be aware of nonverbal communication between the two of you: Keep eye contact during the hours you are together (rather than not looking at each other anymore); Exchange smiles periodically (rather than scorn looks and twisted lips).
10. Be involved with each other's life (rather than living "apart together"). Show interest and curiosity about each other's feelings, work, activities (rather than being indifferent);
Your couple's awareness therefore plays a major role in your ability to maintain a satisfying relationship over time.
Maintaining a satisfying relationship over time is possible!
Maintaining a satisfying relationship over time is not a utopia. Many who have taken the road to awareness have made it. If you as a couple care about the well-being of one another as well as of your bond, and consciously engage in mutual give & take, you can maintain a satisfying intimate relationship over time.

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