Remember to check back for a new topic

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Emotionally Unavailable Men

Bookmark and Share

re you always getting involved with emotionally unavailable men? They may attract you by the intensity of their purpose and their involvement in their careers or in the lives of others but they just never seem to connect emotionally or meaningfully with you. You are tired of these emotionally dry relationships that tire and cause you so much pain. Is there a way to spot emotionally unavailable men? What are the signs of emotionally unavailable men?
1. Over involvement in a career or in other people's lives. You want a man who has a purpose and reason for waking up each morning. He should ideally have a career that he enjoys and people who love and care about him. But too much involvement will be seen in that:
a. His career is all that he talks and thinks about. One of the signs of an emotionally unavailable man is that all he talks about is his career; his only interest is his career; he excels only in his career; and he has no other interest in life apart from his career. If you observe him carefully you will realize that the only thing that he truly loves is his career. In ALL practical ways he is in love and married to his job. He may want you in his life so that you can meet those needs that his job does not meet but his true love and the one that holds his emotions is his job. He breathes, sleeps, dreams and fantasizes about his career...and you will ALWAYS be a lower emotional priority in his life.
b. He is everyone's go-to guy. Yes you want a man who has friends and is involved in their lives but one of the signs of emotionally unavailable men is their insatiable need to serve their friends and family members in every single little thing. It may seem like a cute trait at the beginning of the relationship when you think that he is one of the most giving men that you know but it could be a sign of emotional unavailability. If he is at the beck and call of all his friends and relatives then he will have minimal or no time for you. He simply does not have the time to be emotionally available to you. You may resent his friends or family members but the problem is him...not his friends or family members.
2. He has huge personal baggage. We ALL have baggage from our past since none of us is spared the hurts that the people we interact with and that life bring to every life. But emotionally unavailable men have the type of baggage that cripples them emotionally. Whatever the past relationships did or did not do to them; emotionally unavailable men will react and treat you like the person or persons who hurt them in their past. He simply does not give you a chance to connect emotionally with him as he can only see you through the lenses of his past hurt. He is just unable (or unwilling) to see the real you and so he creates (or sees) reasons why you are just like the people or person that hurt him in the past; and he disengages emotionally from you, ensuring that he can never be available to you emotionally. Some women find such men an irresistible challenge; they want to be the one that saves such a man and gets him to love again. But if you are one of those women then remember to tread carefully as this is a road full of incredible hurts and unless the man wants to change...all the loving in the world is not going to do any good.
Emotionally unavailable men can turn your life upside down if you make the mistake of loving them. They may present a challenge to some women or elevate the caring intuition in other women but whatever emotions they evoke in you; know with certainty that loving them will be a journey to relationship hurts and knocks.

No comments: