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Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Singles always make this biggest mistake in a relationship

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Exploring a new relationship with someone is both an exhilarating experience and a frightening one. Here you are opening your heart, soul and body to someone with wild abandon and love with absolutely no commitment or guarantee of any future. There is immense possibility for creating the relationship of your dreams on the one hand, and great risk and uncertainty on the other. Somewhere, you know, without a commitment or promise, you could be abandoned or rejected and deeply hurt at any time.
It is challenging to open your heart to someone so completely with no promise or certainty. The discomfort of "not knowing" the future that comes with the joy and exhilaration of intimate bliss can be emotionally quite unsettling. The unsure mind wants to comfort itself with "knowing" the future and attempts to answer questions like, "Is this "the One?" Are we going to be together forever? Does he or she love me? Do I love them? Is this what I really want? Am I settling? Will I be happy?"
Unfortunately, trying to answer these questions too soon results in people rushing into making relationship determinations and decisions before their time, or forcing others to do so. This focus on determining the future gets in the way of allowing the relationship to organically unfold. People end and start relationships too quickly because they cannot stand to be with the uncertainty of the questions.
In truth, it takes time to assess whether or not you are willing to commit and spend your life with another. It takes recurrence with someone over time to know whether or not you can trust one another, work through breakdowns together as they arise, create new experiences harmoniously together, successfully fulfill your desires and take care of your needs, etc... It can sometimes take people a couple of years before they feel resolved enough in their relationship choice to commit to marriage. So what do we do with all the emotional discomfort in the meantime?
Make peace with the questions, both yours and theirs. They may be here awhile. Know that questions do not necessarily mean you do not want to be together or that you don't love each other. Expand yourself to include both the deep love you are experiencing with your new partner and the questions that abound. The questions are part of the dating process.
Focus on the now as much as possible. Instead of future thinking, focus on what is good and wonderful about your relationship now. Enjoy the experience you ARE having, not the one you imagine you will NOT BE having later. Be in a mood of appreciation and gratitude for the wonderful experiences you ARE sharing together. Speak them out loud to each other. This practice will soothe your fears.
Instead of asking future questions that instill doubt and fear, ask questions that instill joy, confidence and hope. Ask questions like, "How can I express my love more today? Where can I be more honest and transparent? How would I be if I trusted the perfect unfolding of this relationship? How would I be if I knew this was my perfect partner or a divinely inspired step towards my perfect partner?"
Lastly, know that your questions will get answered over time, almost by themselves. Allow love to flourish and take you where it wants to go. As much as possible, enjoy the rush that comes from the unfolding of love, and don't rush to decide where it will all end up too quickly. If you do, you may very well prevent love from growing at all.

Monday, March 7, 2011

Importance of Trust in a Relationship

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Trust in a relationship is very crucial. Without trust, a relationship cannot last as a healthy and happy bond. For useful tips on how to have trust in your relationship and to have good communication with your partner please read on.

1. You have to be truthful from the start of a relationship. You should never lie to your partner - even white lies or small lies. For instance, you will be running late getting home because you are working late but in reality you are hanging out with coworkers - that is a very bad idea. Once your partner finds out that you are lying, your partner will wonder what else you have lied about.

2. You should be reliable. No matter how big or small your promises are. If you have promised your spouse that you will be home at 7:00 pm, you should be home on time. If you promised that you will drop by the supermarket to get some fruits or bread, do it. For the big ones, such as being truthful to your spouse that no matter what happens, you will be loyal to your partner and you will never look at someone else.

3. You have to set boundaries. If your spouse is being bothered by an ex-partner who is calling frequently, you have to let your spouse know and feel that she or he is your only love. Do not allow a spark that might ignite into a big fire.

4. You should give your trust to your spouse. Do not accuse your partner of cheating or committing infidelity if you do not have clear evidence. If you do not have proof, it might create an atmosphere of mistrust. You should be faithful and honest with your partner as well. Believe what your spouse is telling you.

5. You have to be fair. If you had bad relationships in the past, do not make your partner pay for all the sins of your exs. Your spouse has already committed his or her life to you.

6. Build your trust in your relationship by trusting yourself. This is one of the strongest foundations of any relationship.

7. You have to match your words with the message. You have to say what you mean and mean what you say. If you say something to your spouse, but the tone of your voice or the delivery of your words or your body language doesn't match, there's something else.

8. Let your spouse know who you are. In a relationship, you are entrusting yourself to your partner. Do not hold back any emotional issues. Discuss whatever you want to tell your spouse.

9. You should believe and have faith that your partner is competent in understanding and accepting the situation. Many have said this phrase, "I don't want to tell my partner or spouse because I don't want to hurt him or her." Do not underestimate the capacity of your partner to understand. Remember that the truth can be conveyed in loving and charming ways and is never destructive.

The above relationship tips on how to have trust in a relationship are sure-fire tips that you can try. Trust is important in every relationship. It is the binding agent of a relationship. Once it has been broken, you will have a hard time bringing it back.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Learn to squeeze your PC ( part 11 )

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Here is how you can learn to squeeze your PC muscle. For one week practice squeezing your PC each time you pass urine. Why urine? Because ( as my diagrams of PC show), the PC controls two things: the vagina and the bladder.
So, begin like this. For the next seven days, each time you urinate, spread your knees far apart .....start to pass urine....then stop it for a few seconds....then start it.....then stop it again for a few seconds. Repeat the starting and stopping until your bladder is empty. Each time you 'stop' the urine, you are squeezing your PC muscle.
Why must your knees be far apart? Because, if your knees were close together, you could stop the urine with your thigh muscles. But with your knees far apart, only the PC can stop it.
After about seven days of urine-stopping, you will know how to squeeze your PC. And you will find that you can squeeze it at any time-not just while passing urine.