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Saturday, April 23, 2011

Equal Value Can Enhance Your Relationship

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Understanding men tends to be something that a lot of women struggle with, especially when it comes to understanding why there is a breakdown in the relationship when the woman puts too much pressure on the man to always be there.
There's all this that the guy has to support the girl and protect her and blah blah blah. That's all well and true, but it's rather non-realistic, don't you think? Guys do more damage to the girl in the long-term by promising the world.
If your man has been putting in a lot of effort for you and you haven't been giving him something in return of equal value, the relationship is not going to last longer than the honeymoon period.
It's the typical master/slave relationship. The slave is not going to respect the master in the long term, even though he might pretend to do so. There has to be mutual respect; both parties have to show that the other person means a lot to them.
If he's been displaying less and less interest in you recently, it's probably because he's tired of doing so much for you, while you don't acknowledge or appreciate him. 
Does your man know that you value him? Here are a couple ways that you can show him that you value him and make him realize it:
1. Show a bit of affection (and actually mean it): nothing like a bit of tenderness to really get through to him.
2. Something out of the blue: this is sort of related to the first point. If you're affectionate with him out of the blue, it'll be a big deal. Just like if he usually buys things for you, if you buy something he wants out of the blue, he'll know you appreciate him.
Understanding men takes a bit of time, but it's not too hard once you realize they are not that hard to crack. There are many ways to show equal value; just realize that it's important to form a strong connection with your man that will stand the test of time.

You Can Learn From The Mistakes Of Your Past Relationships

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Most people have had a few relationships, and the chances are that those past relationships were not healthy and didn't end on a good note; otherwise you would still be together. Many people carry their past relationship problems into their next relationship and worry about those exact same things happening, but wouldn't it be easier to learn from their past relationships?
Every past relationship started with love and hope. Everyone enters relationships with the best intentions possible. If we can reach into the past and figure out where we went wrong, what our hopes for the relationship was, and be honest about the unique personalities of our partners, then we get a great opportunity to figure out who we are and why we have done what we have done in the past.
This can help us to eliminate destructive patterns that we have in relationships. We can figure out where we need to grow and change before the next relationship, and we can head into future relationships better prepared and more knowledgeable about our wants, needs, and actions.
During the relationship it may not be as easy to see where the mistakes are being made and what needs to be changed due to ego, emotions, and just literally being too close to the situation. But after the relationship you have severed the deep emotional confusion and can look at it objectively.
It's easier to admit your faults after the relationship ends as well. Yes you probably have some faults! Your ego may not allow you to admit that you are jealous or mean or selfish in the relationship. It doesn't want to feel like you are the problem in the relationship, or even have a part in the problem, but you most likely do.
To start fixing your relationship problems begin by looking back at the mistakes that you made in the relationship. Be brutally honest here. Did you nag about their imperfections too often? What part of your relationship skills do you need to change?
Once you figure out your personal relationship issues you can get to work on them. In fact, just acknowledging them will have a great effect on how you interact with future relationships. But taking action is essential to ridding yourself of those problems once and for all. 
 You can look at the past partners you have had. Do they have a pattern? Do they always seem to treat you in the same way? These are the things you don't want in a relationship anymore because, as you know, it doesn't work out. You need to be proud enough of yourself to realize that you deserve a partner who treats you with respect and loves you for you.
Past relationships offer a great insight into what we don't and do want out of a relationship, and they also teach a thing or two about ourselves. Use that to your advantage and your future relationship will be better than the last.

Friday, April 22, 2011

These Tips Will Keep Your Love Alive And Healthy

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It's generally easy for most people to find someone to fall in love with. The problem is trying to keep that love for each other going; sometimes it just tends to die out. Understanding why love fails and avoiding the traps that lead to failure is a must for both you and your partner.
When you meet up with someone new, the first few months are pretty good. You feel you have met the person of your dreams and you have fallen in love. Everything about them seems perfect and you get along great. But what can happen is after you start to become familiar with each other and take each other for granted, the relationship can start to suffer.
When you reach this point you may be at a critical stage. You or your partner may think that you are falling out of love with each other and this may be far from the truth. The love may still be there, neither of you are not showing it the way you once did. This is a normal position to be in when a relationship reaches a certain point.
One of the ways to keep this from becoming a problem is learn to be good communicators with each other. When you first met your partner remember how the two of you could talk about anything? Try to maintain that as much as possible as the relationship progresses. Talk about how your day went, tell funny stories or talk about old times. Do not sit all day in the same house and never say anything to each other.
Sex is another area that can start to suffer as the relationship progresses. Again this does not necessarily mean your partner is not in love any more, this kind of thing happens many times in a relationship. Also as you age and your relationship has been intact for many years, an active sex life may not be as important as it once was.
These are a few of the common things that can trap a couple before they realize what happened. As long as you know what to look out for you will have a greater chance of keeping your relationship healthy for now and far into the future. There are couples that have been together for 60 years! You know it must have taken a lot of work to get that far, and following these tips may have helped them get there.

These 2 ideas might help refresh your marriage

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No matter how strong the initial attraction, there may and usually does, come a time when the fairytale ending starts to lose its pink haze. Face it, things go wrong, relationships are a constant work in progress. If you want to keep the shine on the marriage vows, try the following two simple tips.
1. Don't leave the responsibility for the money on one partner's shoulders. Money is one of the biggest causes of arguments and stress in a marriage. Couples disagree and argue about it constantly, often from quite early on in the marriage.
So it could be a good idea, even before you walk down the aisle if possible, to discuss how you will manage your money.
To be honest, it almost doesn't matter what the solution is, as long as you both agree, I mean really agree not just passively give in.
Whatever the decision, both of you should have input about what to do and how to do it; then it should just need changing if and when your circumstances change. Do not sit there and stress because he or she is wasting the money, talk about it!
2.  Don't become complacent. Make sure not to fall into the trap of not making an effort to keep your romance alive; those little touches - a smile, a thank you, can make a huge difference. Just because you are at home does not mean that you don't have to clean your teeth and brush your hair. Complacency is not good for any relationship, so try not to let things slip.
Follow these two points and you will have a stronger relationship.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

How Chemistry of Love Works

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The word "chemistry" in relation to love is used because of the chemical reactions that love sets off in our brains. When we first lay eyes on someone who we are attracted to; we do so because of the physical attraction that makes us look at them. If we feel more than just recognition of the physical to that person then the brain releases chemicals to signal to us that this may be more. The brain distinguishes the type of reaction to an attraction we may have. The chemical reaction is an alert to let us know that this may be love. This is where the adage "Love at first sight" applies.
Love has different stages in which different chemicals are bio chemically released from our brains. It is the stages as we encounter them that stimulate a response of love based on the level of a love relationship we are involved in. When a chemical reaction occurs simultaneously between two people this is when we say the people have mutual "chemistry" between one another and love then ensues.
The first stage in the love process is "sexual attraction or lust". This is what makes us say someone is cute and gives us the tingle when we look at them. When this stage occurs testosterone and estrogen are released from our brains and make us have the urge to mate. Many encounters do not go beyond this stage and the relationship if any dies shortly after. If the two still have chemistry then other stages occur where different chemicals in the brain are released to further stimulate the true love cycle of being in love.
After the sexual arousal/lust stage you enter the romantic attraction stage. The chemicals that are released during this stage are:
1. Pheromones - These are chemicals that when excreted from the brain cause social responses in the same species. They trigger attraction through things like smell to the opposite sex. The person who receives them externally either has the attraction or repulsion to the person who is releasing the pheromones. Depending on the chemical attraction one person has towards the other determines the release of pheromones in relationship towards the other party. When two people like each other after the first stage; the pheromones that are released cause a mutual attraction for both parties.
2. Dopamine - This is the next important chemical that is released in the love process. This chemical creates a feel good or even high feeling that people experience when they are in love. It is a chemical that is stimulated as part of our reward systems wired in our brains. When we are in love it is like a reward and dopamine is released. It is a neurotransmitter that releases in regards to gratifying behavior including sex.
3. Norepinephrine - This is a fight or flight chemical that is stimulated to release upon action which stimulates arousal and affects our reward system. It is a stress chemical. This makes us excited about someone
4. Serotonin - This neurotransmitter stimulates our moods; it makes us feel high or low depending on the stimulus
When a person falls "in love" these chemicals are released. When both people feel the same about each other, it is what we call chemistry. This is because both parties are releasing the same chemicals at the same time of their interactions causing chemical synchronicity between both people. This is what we refer to as being in sync or in tune to each other. When this does not occur two people may care or like each other but they are NOT in love with one another. This is what makes being in love so special. The biological chemistry also gets activated. It's not just a logical or technical experience. It's a feeling that creates all these chemicals to go off. This is what is referred to as feeling sparks.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

How To Survive Breakup

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Dealing with a breakup is rarely easy on either party, especially when a lot of time and emotion has been invested into the relationship. It is important to remember that sometimes no matter the efforts we make, or the dedication we put into a romance, not all relationships are meant to be. This is no reflection on your ability to have and maintain a relationship; the two of you just weren't meant to be. Knowing that one simple fact, can help you begin the road to recovery, and back on the path to your true love.
There will be many emotions and feelings while you are dealing with your breakup. One of the most common feelings is the sense of deep loss. Even when the relationship was unsatisfying, or toxic, you can feel the feeling of loss. The painful and bad times may even be forgotten or overpowered by this emotion, so much that those couples will get back together and breakup several times. This roller coaster will only add to the feeling of loss, as you will be re-investing into this relationship. Both of you know deep inside that this romance is doomed, and not healthy, but many couples will continue this path of self destruction. It is important to realize that you are not getting rid of the sad feelings, you are only prolonging your pain and suffering, and even forcing yourself to experience them over and over again.
The road to recovering from a breakup may be a long one. Keep this in mind as you move through your healing process. This will be even more apparent to you if you run into each other from time to time. It is not beneficial to you to try to avoid the lost lover at all costs, it is actually good for you to see them and even experience that sinking feeling in your stomach just when you thought you were completely healed. This keeps you on the road to health, and prepares you as an individual for your real relationship. But don't try to see them, just let life happen as it needs to. And most importantly, don't get involved in their life and what they are doing once you break up. It does not matter how soon they begin dating again, or who they are seeing. It is only important that you move on and learn from your mistakes. Remember that in your lifetime, you will experience many opportunities to learn, and this includes learning relationships. This is to prepare you to be the person you are capable of being so that you attract the person you deserve to be with. That is very important to understand. If you do not grow as a person, you will continue to attract the same type of person and misery into your life.
Once you have begun to deal with your breakup, and recognize it as a learning relationship, you can now begin to focus on you. This is the fastest way and best way to get over a bad relationship. Get out and do things. Do some of the things that you have been putting on the back burner. Join a gym, or an outdoors group or anything that interests you. It is important for you to grow and develop as an individual, and there is not a better time to do this than now.  You need to find activities and hobbies that you enjoy by yourself . It will likely be those activities that you begin to love and enjoy that provide you with the opportunity to find your special person. If that happens, then you already have common interests with this person. But this is not your goal right now, your focus is to find your own self, and find happiness in who you are.

Can A Lost Trust In A Relationship Be Restored?

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How do you get your relationship back even after one of you has cheated? Some people claim that an affair should always end a relationship. That's possibly a little narrow-minded. I believe that every relationship is savable if both parties really want to work on it. It is not an easy thing, gaining trust after an affair, but it is possible if both parties take some of the responsibility and truly want to go on being together.
Restoring trust in relationships requires adjustments in both attitude and actions. Even after an affair, it is possible to save a relationship. And it starts by looking closely at your relationship and trying to discover what it is lacking.
I doubt that it is very often (or ever) that a third party is the reason for infidelity. There are usually core issues within the relationship that are basically pushing the relationship apart - almost literally pushing your partner into another's arms. Most issues can be resolved and will heal over time if you can identify them and work out how to change them to suit your relationship.
* What was it that you or your partner were looking for when the infidelity took place?
* Had sex become... let's say, boring?
* Were you not spending enough time together?
* Were you or your partner feeling unappreciated, unloved, overwhelmed, undesirable, neglected?
There could be many reasons a relationship breaks down to the point of someone reaching out to a third party to meet their needs, or even sometimes just to be heard. Work out what was lacking in your relationship if you decide you still want to be together. If you're not clear about what the core issues are, dig deep to discover the underlying problems.
But just understanding our thoughts and feelings isn't enough. The next step is to take positive action towards regaining trust. The regaining of trust may take some time, but you can start taking action with this goal in mind straight away.
Assuming you were the unfaithful partner, start with small things - like an offer to do a task on a regular basis. Make sure you do the task! Simple. It shows your partner that you are keeping your word, even if it's not some amazing thing, it is rebuilding the trust between you. When you show that you can be trusted in the small things, a gradual sense of confidence will be realized in the larger picture of the relationship.
Your partner may need constant reassurance that you have changed. This means that you may have to apologize more than once over time. You will also need to understand that there may be ongoing comments about the violation of trust, this is normal. It is not easy to forgive this kind of breach. If you want the relationship to survive, you may need to endure this for a while.
However, it doesn't mean you have to feel guilty about the indiscretion forever. Allow for the hurt to be heard and honoured, but don't let your partner constantly have you feeling guilty. Be understanding, but remind them that the responsibility was not entirely yours.
Try to look at this time in your lives as a lifeline for your relationship - as an opportunity for you both to grow as individuals and for your relationship to mature. Just as a bone grows stronger at the place it has been broken, relationships can grow stronger after a break in trust.
Restoring trust in a relationship does take time. Your relationship can transform into an amazing bond with a little attitude readjustment, some time and a lot of love and understanding. It is worth the time and effort if you both commit to rebuilding the love and trust.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

How Men Can Survive A Breakup

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Often they do the wrong things. By "wrong things," I mean the things that don't work when trying to win your ex girl back.
They end up pushing their ex girlfriend or wife away, when they desperately want to win her back. This is not because of any ill intention; they're just reacting from their gut emotions.
Men, who are in a breakup relationship, are often thinking things like: "What am I going to do without her? She was the love of my life. Things will never be the same. Losing her makes me realize how much I love her. I just need a second chance."
Suddenly you're remembering all of the good times.
Once you've accepted that the breakup is real, most men move into the desperation stage. This is perfectly normal, but not in your best interest. After realizing that you can't avoid the breakup. It's the "OMG, she's really gone-now what do I do?"
Feeling desperate is normal at this stage of breaking up. However, acting desperate is very unattractive to the woman you're trying to keep. Don't feel guilty for feeling desperate. You may not know it, but every man who has an unwanted breakup goes through this...whether he does or doesn't takes desperate actions.
The best you can do--with the desperation you feel--is to make it as short-lived as possible. You may feel it; just don't act on it.
When you get yourself to a better place, you can talk to her about your relationship without being defensive and without making outlandish promises you can't keep. But you need some time.
Don't be buying her gifts, making promises to change or using any "hard-sell" techniques. Your urge is going to be: to call her, to follow her--maybe even to run into her at the gym or in a favorite restaurant. These strategies will only push her farther away and keep her from realizing what it will be like to be without you in her life.
DO start taking care of you. Get to the gym. 
You know, there is grieving that goes on here. So a little bit of extra sleeping, falling asleep to the TV are all fairly normal. Give you self permission to do this for a week or so, but don't give into it.
Knowing how to survive a breakup does not mean that you're accepting that the breakup is permanent. If you can resist some of your initial, emotional urges, you will have a much better chance at winning your ex girlfriend back.

How to Make Your Relationship a Priority in Life

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Relationships require work and dedication from both people involved in it. If you put your relationship on the back-burner of life then you may find that one day you wake up and are left with a fraction of the healthy relationship you once had. This unhealthy relationship is much harder to bounce back from a small issue that arises from time to time. Just for this reason alone, staying on top of your relationship should always be a priority in your life.
Make sure you always tackle issues when they arise. Do not let them fester and become worse by ignoring them or waiting till later to deal with them, because like I said above you will find that later that once small issue will become a gigantic issue that has probably leaked into other areas of your life. If there is something that is bothering one of you then talk about it and figure out a way to make it better. This will ensure that your relationship is always on a healthy and happy path.
Always give each other the respect you would give yourself. You are a partnership in life and you are closer than you will ever be with anyone else besides yourself. You share life's challenges and victories together, and you are heading down parallel paths in this life. You owe it to your partner to always give them the respect that you would give yourself.
Lifting each other up in life and being a shoulder to cry on is another important part of any relationship. Do not try to make your partner feel bad about themselves but instead always make their self-esteem and happiness something you aim to help improve. You are supposed to be the one person in life who is always there to make them feel good about themselves, and your relationship will only benefit from this action.
Remember to stand up for each other in this life. Do not let your family, friends, or even strangers take priority over your relationship. In-laws are notorious for causing problems in relationships and when one person takes the in-laws side then that can be detrimental to the relationship. 
Your relationship should always be a priority in life because it's the one thing that will always be there to bring you joy if you take care of it like you should. So make the effort and you will see the positive results.

Monday, April 18, 2011

He Wants You To Text Him!

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It's tough when you are wanting to hear back from a man and he hasn't gotten back in touch with you. I know you want him to text you and of course you want to hear his voice. You want to know he feels the same and you're wondering if you should text him.
I want you to stop feeling confused because when you're unsure, you are more prone to make huge mistakes. Put all of your worries out of your mind right now for even a few moments and focus on what I'm about to tell you.
There is a way to connect with a man that doesn't make it seem like you're chasing him or being the pursuer. This is exactly what you want to avoid. You're afraid you'll come across as needy and desperate so this is why you're stuck between your feelings of attraction and not hearing back from him.
But you can't help feeling anxious over not hearing back from him because you really hit it off and maybe he even said somethings to you that made you feel as though he could be your dream man.
In addition, it can be very confusing if he kept on pursuing you and now you're wondering what's going on. Why hasn't he called back? Why did he stop texting you?
As I mentioned before, there is a secret way to text a man without appearing desperate. You have to know what other women say to men to get their attention without looking like the pursuer. Guys know when a woman is trying too hard. And you don't want to come across as the woman who is begging for his attention. So you have to understand how to have the kind of mindset behind texting him in order for you to appear confident and attractive.
Picture this: a man receives your text and he feels EVEN more attraction for you than he felt when you first met. He's happy to hear from you. Your text puts a smile on his face. He begins thinking about you the whole day and he wants to hear more. You seem together, flirty, and in control. You know what to say and how long to wait before you reply.
You can text a man when you haven't heard back from him but there is a way to do it that won't make you seem like you're sitting by the phone waiting to hear back from him.
Here's what men want you to know: It's not whether you should text them but IF you know how to trigger an emotional attraction that makes you come off as desirable instead of desperate.
You have at least one last chance to make a huge impression and you don't want to blow your chance. You don't want to end up blaming yourself for making mistakes. You want to know exactly what to say when you text him and what to do when he replies.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Tips On How to Overcome The Fear of Commitment

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A lot of people have that fear of commitment more than they fear supernatural beings. They fear that they'll lose their precious freedom once they commit. That fear, added with the pressures of making the relationship work makes the relationship suffocating at some point. Generally, people are afraid of committing because of the thought of losing their personal space. This, however can be avoided if you know how to. Don't let that fear interfere with your relationship. Most people don't even know how much that fear can hurt their partners and themselves while staying in the relationship. Acting on it earlier can prevent future dilemmas and misunderstandings that can cause a beautiful relationship to fall apart.
The Fear of Commitment - How to Overcome It.
1. Ask yourself why you're so afraid of committing. Where did that fear of commitment stem from? Once you have the answers and you understand them, it is only then that you can overcome it.
2. Are those reasons acceptable? (i.e. my parents didn't work out so I fear it may happen to me too) Just because things happened to the people you love doesn't mean it has to happen to you. You can learn from the past events that made you fear commitments. They happen to others so that you learn from them and not repeat the process. You don't want a failed relationship? Do what it takes to make it succeed.
3. Approach your relationship problems with a positive attitude. There are reasons why you are with your special someone and it's a fact of life that your relationship will hit occasional bumps along the way. Do not fear nor hate them, approach them as a component of making your relationship stronger.
4. Communicate. Are you thinking you might not be able to have those Friday night hang-outs with your buddies once you commit to your relationship? Talk with them about the changes you'll go through and learn to compromise where it's needed.
5 If you're the type of person who fears commitment because you fear that all your hard earned money will be spent senselessly because of your partner, have a relationship check. Is your partner that kind of person? If they are and you're not willing to give up on the relationship because of that, deal with it by talking to them about it.
6. Some people develop that fear of commitment after a failed relationship.  If you've went through this, give yourself time to learn how to trust again. Being with someone isn't always stressful and won't always lead to a divorce until you allow for it to happen. A good way to avoid mishaps happening to you twice is by setting your focus on your relationship mistakes and straightening them out.
8. Ask yourself: "Do I want to be in a strong and healthy relationship?" If your answer is yes but you fear in committing to it, you have to accept the simple fact that you cannot establish a strong and healthy relationship with an unbalanced level of commitment. You cannot achieve that relationship status if you commit to the relationship by 20-80.
Dealing with the fear of commitment is the first and biggest step in overcoming it. Initiating to take that first step to understanding and accepting why you have that fear will have the biggest impact on your process of prevailing over it. Once you accept and understand the facts of why you have that fear to commit will make it easier for you to understand yourself as it allows for your relationship to progress.

3 Most Essentials To Discovering Your True Love

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We grew up watching movies and fairy tales where the prince always finds the princess and they live happily ever after in the end. This can't be more unrealistic or untrue and if you've already been in a real-life relationship, then you would know. Relationships take a lot of time, effort, and commitment in order to make things work. You don't just meet an insanely handsome man who will sweep you off your feet every day and live out the rest of your life just like that.
If you have been single for a long time and have been dying to find your one true love, there are three essentials that you must understand to prepare yourself for it once you find it or once it finds you.
1. Do you have the right attitude?
Now a lot of people believe in love right off the bat. But after a few bad relationships or after waiting for a long time with no one in sight, the heart begins to get weary and the outlook changes. You start to question love and your outlook on life. Then you begin to doubt on the very existence of love. If you're going down that road, hit the brakes and turn back. It might not seem that important but your attitude towards love really is. You can't expect to find love if you don't even believe in it in the first place. There's a certain kind of vibe you may be putting up out there with that negative attitude so change your way of thinking. Love will come when you least expect it.
2. Do you believe that you are lovable?
If you want to find someone to share the rest of your life with, then you would want to find someone who will love you for who you are, nothing more and nothing less. However, the more important thing here is, do you think you're lovable? Are you happy with who you are and with what you're doing with your life? If you're not, then this will obviously affect how you see yourself and what you deserve. I think that every woman deserves a man who will look at her and realize that she is perfect despite her imperfections. However, if you look in the mirror and see a girl who doesn't deserve to be loved, then that will also reflect in your choices with men. So before you open up yourself to love others, love yourself.
3. Are you taking charge of your life?
Before you can begin to share your life with someone else, you have to make sure that you're taking charge of it in the first place. What can you expect to share with someone if you don't even know what you're doing or where you're headed?
The road to love might seem like a long road but you have to make sure that you're ready for it before you get into a relationship. Not only will this safeguard your heart, but it will also assure you of a better future with your future partner.