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Saturday, May 14, 2011

3 Tips That Tell If a Guy Likes You; These Will Show That He Is Really Into It

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Its been a month now since you have been getting to know each other and you think finally I have met a really nice guy. But now you are not sure if he likes you as much as you like him. As by now you are definitely feeling a bond developing but you are unsure if he feels the same way. It's hard to tell as some times it appears that way, but at other times it doesn't. You maybe feeling a bit confused as you are picking up mixed messages. You want to know for sure he feels the same way before letting your feelings show.
But before we look at whether or not he likes you let's considered whether or not you really want him to like you. Have you decided what it is you want from the relationship? Explored compatibility and whether or not it is worth a long term emotional investment? Or are you just going along for the ride and just hoping it all works out?
If you're having a good feeling about this guy after looking at it from practical perspective and he ticks most of your boxes let's look closer. Generally speaking men guard the door to their innermost soul very well they sometimes slip up and then they recompose. This causes a lot of confusion and contributes to the mixed message signals you maybe receiving.
Here are 3 Tips that Tell if a Guy Likes You?
He asks a lot of questions if he sees you being friendly towards another guy. This could indicate that he is marking and protecting his territory. This could mean he is very interested and making sure there are no unpleasant surprises.
He calls often and isn't comparing how often you have or have not called. This shows he is thinking about you and is confident within himself. This could be a sign that he is getting to know your schedule, likes and dislikes, pet peeves etc.
He worries if he has not heard from you. This is a sign he is definitely bonding, it shows he cares for and about you. He now knows your schedule and your normal behavior and is able to spot something outside the ordinary and shows concern for your welfare.
These are a few tell tale signs that will help you know if a guy really likes you.

Friday, May 13, 2011

Reality or Fantasy?...Love at First Sight

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You never get a second chance at making a great first impression. Research has shown us that you make a decision within the first 10 seconds of meeting someone about whether you like them, or not, and about whether you want to pursue a relationship with them or really can't be bothered at all.
After that it really is just confirming that your first impression was actually correct which then makes it almost impossible to change.
In truth you're not much different to those in the animal world. For example when two cats meet each other for the first time, they just as quickly as we do, decide if the other cat is a threat to them or not. If the other cat is perceived as a threat then the first cat will hiss and snarl at the second. The second cat then is likely to bristle up, in an attempt to make it appear larger, at the reaction of the first in a show of aggression and for preparing it for fight or flight.
If on the other hand the first cat feels no threat it will more likely go up to the other cat and "sniff" it. If the response is positive then you may be surprised to watch them nudging each other with their bodies and licking each other while purring contentedly.
We are just animals after all!
Humans are really not much different. And, just as cats, you also use all of your senses, including your sense of smell, to assess in a flash how you feel about this other person.
Allan Pease in his book, "Body Language" notes some of the physical attributes of humans as they respond to meeting another person for the first time. These physical attributes may be different depending on whether your first assessment is positive or negative.
Allan Pease speaks about how you position your body. If you like the person your body will be more open in posture and pointed towards the other person. Obviously you will be more likely to smile, to show that you are not threatening in any way. And did you know that your pupils also enlarge making you potentially irresistibly attractive.
If you like the look of the other person you are even likely to expose to the other person the softer parts of your body. This is particularly so for women and may include the inside of your wrists or your necks. Men, you are likely to pose in a that reflects how strong and manly you are.
These responses are all spontaneous, that is done without your even knowing it because they are part of a very primitive reaction that taught you very quickly and intuitively what to and what not to do to attract attention as you wanted it or not.
So what is there to learn from this?
Simply this - you can learn to manage theses responses and use them to your advantage. Obviously it's important to watch out for any threatening signals from the other that would let you know that this is someone you should not be with. But if you feel safe then go ahead.
So until next time - Relate with Real Love

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Things to Focus on to Enhance Your Relationship

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You have what you believe is a fairly good relationship but you want the extra zing that makes you feel alive, appreciated and loved in your relationship. What should you do to create that extra oomph in your relationship? What are the things that you can focus on to enhance your relationship?
1. Yourself. You cannot give what you do not have. If you are unhappy in your life or in your body then that unhappiness will flow into your relationship. What is bogging you down in your life and in the use of all your gifts and skills? What things stop you from living your life to the full? You must identify what these things are and find a way to deal with them. Your life doesn't have to be perfect but you can make progressive changes in each area or make peace with what you cannot change.
2. Your words to him. Decide now that you will react courteously to him and you will bite back every nasty or unkind word that you are tempted to unleash on him. This will be hard initially but if you stop contributing to the negativity then you will see a gradual positive change in him; and you will enhance your relationship.
3. Your attitude towards him. Make up your mind that he is your man and that he is worthy of your love, admiration and commitment; and live accordingly. Yes he is not perfect but you must let him know that he is all that you want and need. If he knows that you are always going to be in his corner then he is more likely to change the things that you do not like especially if you do not focus on the negative but on the positives.
4. Your deeds toward him. You need to make him feel your love for him. What actions make him feel loved? Do you know the things that you do that he absolutely loves? It may simply be a loving hug before you go out of the door or a welcome hug when you walk through the door or whatever it is that he appreciates as this will enhance your relationship to no end.
5. Intimacy. This is supposed to be the one thing that you share only with your partner and it needs to be an exciting and fulfilling experience for both of you. Do you know what he enjoys? Is your intimacy as good as it can get or do you have handicaps that prevent great intimacy? Deal with problems in this area as honestly as possible so that you can enhance your relationship.
If you do these 5 things then you will enhance your relationship as you see your partner warm up increasingly toward you.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Forcing Someone to Love You Might Be Devastating!

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Love is a very powerful thing. you will do things that you have never thought that you could do. Love can either make you happy or make you sad or worse it will make you insane, the kind of love that consumes you. Have you ever experienced loving someone and that someone doesn't love you back? It is painful and so depressing. I know you might have experienced it, and I know how you feel.
Forcing someone to have the same feelings for you is really tough because love is not something where you can just pick it up, put it in your heart and then instantly that person loves you back. Love happens when you least expect it. Sometimes, you don't even know that you already love someone. You can never force someone or anyone to love you back. 
It is not worth your time and effort to indulge yourself to someone who won't be able to return the love that you feel for them. You might get hurt if you keep on forcing yourself on someone.
Here's an advice, try focusing your attention to different things or activities that will occupy your time, for example indulge in a new sport. Do not limit yourself open up to the world and you will see, a lot more beautiful things out there. There might be other people out there ready to love you completely where you don't need to force them, who accepts you for who you are and loves you totally. Just open your eyes and maybe you'll see you might be focusing yourself on one person and not noticing another who really loves you.

Monday, May 9, 2011

Why do men behave the way they do?

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Calling all women...Have you ever been surprised at the way your significant other behaves-or wished you understood him better? Now you can!
It's been said that men are from Mars, and indeed, according to a recent survey, a whopping 92% of women admitted they are often confused by the way their mates acted-and reacted-to situations and wished they understood their significant others better. Chances are, you're in that number, and if so, keep reading to unravel men's "mysterious" ways--secrets that will help you understand your man better and bring you closer together than ever before.
* WHY HE WON'T TALK WHEN HE'S STRESSED. When you have a problem, you solve it by thinking out loud-right? Women are definitely pre-wired to use speech as a main form of expression, so when problem-solving, they'll typically chatter away-to a friend, relative or spouse-about options and possibilities, people involved and what they need to do. Not men, who studies show do the opposite by talking silently to themselves. You may assume your significant other is clamming up-or even ignoring you-but the truth is, he can only focus on one thing at a time. In fact, MRI scans reveal that men's brains have fewer connecting fibers between the left and right hemispheres and are more compartmentalized overall. And that means when he's using his right brain to try and find solutions to problems, he literally can't use his left brain to listen or speak!
* WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT: Try to find out but he doesn't want you in. Let him be. Give him the solitude and space he craves, and once he's solved his problem-or wants your input-he'll be happy and ready to talk again.
* WHY HE CAN'T READ YOUR MIND: Your girl pals always know when something's bothering you-and you don't even have to say a word. So, how can your sweetie be so clueless? Studies show that while women can quickly detect a range of emotions--both verbal and nonverbal-men are simply not wired with such super-sensory abilities.
* WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT: Tell him exactly what's bothering you. Surveys show that men really do want to please the women they love, but they need you to spell things out for them first-and as clearly and concisely as possible.
* WHY HE HATES GETTING ADVICE: Ever notice how rarely men ask for directions-even when they're hopelessly lost? Men need to feel capable of solving their own problems. In fact, don't be surprised if he gets upset with you for offering solutions to his dilemmas. Naturally, you're only trying to help, but chances are, he'll view your input as criticism and may get upset because it makes him feel incompetent.
* WHY HE LOVES GIVING ADVICE: Of course, when the shoe's on the other foot--and you have a problem--he doesn't hesitate to tell you what to do about it-right? That's because men have  problem-solving minds. So, when he continually interrupts you to offer solutions to your problems, he can't help himself. His brain is simply programmed to do so.
* WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT: Keep in mind that your husband's intentions are honorable. 
* WHY HES SO BLUNT: Ever tried to get a conversation going with your guy by asking him a simple question--like "How was your day?" Chances are, you got a curt, one-word response-like, "Fine." Studies confirm that men's sentences tend to be short, direct and to the point for a reason. This kind of speech helps close business deals quickly and efficiently. But in intimate relationships, these kinds of responses are not very endearing.
* WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT: Ask better questions. The trick to getting your man to open up is to ask him more open-ended questions. Examples: "What was the best (or worst) part of your day?" or "Tell me all about your visit with your brother, and I want details!" Questions like these help to bring you closer together, because they encourage your significant other to elaborate and open up to you.
* WHY HE OFTEN LOOKS AS IF HE'S NOT LISTENING: Why do men often listen like "statues?" Chalk it up to evolution. The biological objective of the male warrior when listening was to remain impassive, so as not to betray his emotions. In other words, men's lack of visual emotion enables them to feel in control of a situation-it does not mean they don't experience emotions. In fact, brain scans reveal that men feel emotion as strongly as women do, but they avoid showing it.
* WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT: Be gentle with him. His stone face may frustrate you, but lay off the nagging and finger-pointing. Just remember that it's harder for him to talk about his feelings and that he may be afraid of saying the wrong thing. If you're patient and soft-spoken with him, however, he'll feel more comfortable-and far more likely to share his innermost thoughts and feelings with you.
* WHY HE SURFS TV CHANNELS: Surveys reveal this male habit ranks among women's top pet peeves. But what he's really doing is searching for the bottom line in each story. He's also relaxing. By channel surfing, he can forget about his own problems, and look for solutions to other people's.
* WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT: Ignore it. Remember, his forefathers spent more than a million years sitting expressionless on a rock surveying the horizon. So, this comes naturally to him, and he is comfortable doing it.
* WHY HE CAN'T FIND THINGS: How familiar does this conversation sound:
He says: "Where's the book?"
You say: "In the cupboard."
He says: "Well, I'm looking there, but I don't see it."
You say: "Well, it's there. I put it there myself 10 minutes ago."
He says: "No, you must have put it somewhere else. There's definitely no book here."
At that, you head to the kitchen, stick your hand into the cupboard, roll your eyes and hand him the book. Men often feel this is a trick, and they accuse women of always hiding things for them: socks, shoes, underwear, car keys, wallets. They're all there, though; men just can't see them.
* WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT: Blame it on biology. Men's brains, being pre-wired for hunting, see a narrow field. They have to move their heads from side to side and up and down as they scan for 'missing' objects. But because of women's history defending the nest, their brains decode information over a wider peripheral range, and they can see most of the contents of a refrigerator or cupboard without even moving their heads.
*WHY HE HATES SHOPPING: For women, shopping can be rejuvenating and relaxing--even if they don't buy a thing. It's like talking--it doesn't need to have a specific point or objective, and it can take place in an unstructured way over several hours. Twenty minutes or more of this type of shopping, however, drives men bonkers. Why? Because it's not logical and seems to have no purpose.
* WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT: Energize him. If your spouse desperately needs new clothes, there's only one way to motivate him to shop for them. He needs an objective, a target to hit and a timetable. So, give him clear criteria-colors, sizes, brands, styles-and tell him where you will shop and for how long. With clear objectives (even if you've invented them), you'll be amazed at a man's shopping enthusiasm! And who knows? Maybe he'll even buy something sexy for you!

Sunday, May 8, 2011

The Reasons Why You May Be Scared To Commit To A Relationship

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You have been in a relationship for a while but you just cannot get yourself to commit to your partner. You care about your partner but a commitment to them just scares the living daylights out of you. What does this mean? Why are you scared to commit to your partner?
1. Personal issues. You may have personal matters that make you wary of commitment.
a. Self esteem or self worth. Is your opinion of yourself low? Does your sense of self make you believe that nobody of value would commit to you? To commit to a relationship you must know that you are a person of worth deserving of the very best in life.
b. Maturity. Do you feel ready for a commitment? If not, what makes you think that you cannot handle commitment? Do you feel that you first need to accomplish certain things before getting into a committed relationship? How will a committed relationship stop you from accomplishing these things? Be honest with yourself so that you can understand the underlying currents fanning your commitment fears.
c. The past. Sometimes the happenings and incidences of the past continue to control what you do today. Have you made a commitment to someone before and it was like giving them a license to hurt you? To commit to a new relationship you need to make peace with your past relationships and forgive whoever walked over you and your heart like you were a carpet.
d. Your exposure. Have most of your friends or close family members in committed relationships had harrowing horror stories? Are all the committed relationships around you full of negativity? Then you may be afraid that their fate will befall you if you make a commitment.
2. Your partner is not ready. Does your partner inspire confidence in you that they will treat you great and with respect in a committed relationship?
a. Conflicts. How does your partner handle conflict? Do they sulk and throw tantrums like a 2 year old or do they handle them with grace and maturity? You want to commit to someone who can negotiate with you for a compromise that works for both of you.
b. Treatment. So far in the relationship how has your partner treated you? Do they treat you well and do you feel that they are on your side? You want to commit to a partner who treats you well for the larger part as past behaviour  is a pointer of future behaviour.
3. The relationship is at its infancy.
Is your relationship at the stage where a commitment is required? At what stage in a relationship will you be comfortable making a commitment? If you do not feel ready because your relationship is too young then you need to clarify for yourself what it is that you must see or experience in order to know that you are ready.
These 3 steps will help you know why you are scared to commit to a relationship so that you know how to tackle it. You do not want to be controlled by fear but neither do you want to do something that you are uncomfortable with. You can change yourself and your relationship but changing your partner can be a tall order.