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Saturday, July 16, 2011

How to Have a Great Love Life

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Count the ways to have a great love life. So many and most are pertinent but for me one stands out. Communication. Naturally you want romance, good sex, fun, travel, humor and laughter and let's not forget forgiveness. But talking to each other, real talking, is at the heart of a great love life. Communication ranks number one,
So get acquainted, talk, reach out, kid around, banter and above all talk from the heart as well as from your wit. Sure some small talk is OK but it's the intimate conversations, when you touch emotions and even cry together that bring couples closer together. Sharing painful memories and knowing you have an empathic and loving listener tie the bond of love.
Communication comes in many guises. You don't need them all. If you are a touchy-feely kind of person and you met someone or have someone in your life who loves to touch and feel too you're already ahead of the game. Connecting through touch is a winner for most.
Touching includes physical touching, caressing,, hugs, kissing, holding hands, walking arm in arm and brushing against each other at odd moments and when least expected.
But communication also means getting into the thick of feelings and know when to probe into yourselves and reveal what needs to be known to resolve problems and set a new course. Assessing conflict and arguments and doing everything to find resolution is always positive and often deepens relationships. Anger that is unresolved tends to linger and slowly builds up until even little arguments can start a conflagration.
And don't forget that communication implies not hiding from yourself. You need to listen closely to what your partner says. Even when you don't initially agree with the comments, assessment or evaluation that may be part of a conflict.
Communication also involves special gifts, surprising each other with a card or poem or flowers. These acts are acts of communication.
The hurts and moments of joy, periods of depression and periods of heightened emotions are all shared in good communication. There is a blending of spirits and a sense of togetherness that comes with silent and active communication.
Communication is inclusive and for lovers it is also exclusive.
In brief, communication is a full, composite, intimate and loving interaction between two people. It touches the heart of love and the essence of what a great love relationship is all about. The result is a satisfying love relationship that will always transcend hardships and period of strife and personal difficulties of each partner.
Reaching the highest levels of love, intimacy, communication and sharing come from the building of understanding and trust. 

Friday, July 15, 2011

Sure Ways To Save Your Marriage

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Marriage is one of the most joyful and unforgettable events in our lives. It is a unification of not merely two people, but of 2 different upbringings and cultures. After a cheerful start of married life, there could possibly be a chance or commencing of some issues. These could possibly be due to some misunderstandings, ego as well as additional private difficulties. Oftentimes the resentment inside the relation crosses the threshold degree that the couples consider getting separated.
However, a divorce affects the private as well as social lives of both companions. You will be surprised to learn your marriage complications can be fixed. Here i will discuss 5 ways to help save a marriage that can be effectively implemented within your married life.
The first task to resolve the relationship challenges would be to recognize they are present. You ought to be honest with yourself, should be able to recognize the differences inside your relationships and seek to improve them. If you attempt to go away from your issues, they may certainly not be fixed. Accept your situation as it is and be ready for the challenges that might lie ahead.
It is stated that you are not able to battle the enemy which you can't see. This particular philosophy is completely accurate with regards to a marriage. If you feel that your husband has changed the way of interaction, then determine the reasons driving this. The most effective solution would be to start the conversation with your husband or wife and give him several opportunities to 'open up'. Keep your ears as well as mind open for any subtle clues from his / her discussion.
Saving your marriage just isn't merely fixing the problems. Reigniting your love for each other is one of the effective 5 strategies to save a marriage. You can show your appreciation to your companion by using special dates or surprises. Don't forget the most loving occasions you spent together and recreate them with an addition of a special approach.
Provide time for each other to share the feelings. The point should be to get the interest of your companion and help to make your relationships balanced with natural attraction. If you are effective in establishing the love for each other, then additional complications can be promptly fixed.
There may be quite a few obstacles when you're attempting to fix the relationships. It could be hard for you to talk to your spouse or you might be dealing with outside challenges from the family which might prevent you to concentrate on your objectives. Even after confronting these kind of barriers, you have to be persistent on your aims. If one approach fails, you can try a different strategy which could work. You need to be able to cope with the issues safely.
One of the crucial steps among 5 ways to help you save a marriage is to seek the correct guidance. Make an attempt to obtain an expert advice from counseling sessions before you take any significant decision. Wise advice could save your marriage, while negative advice may possibly wreck it.
Most importantly do not forget that your marriage is sacred and that you along with your spouse took a promise. This marriage is a bond between husband and wife . Don't give up on your marriage, your spouse or your dreams. You have the ability to switch the path your marriage course is on. Keep in mind that you aren't on your own and all the help you need is closer than you think. Believe in yourself and your marriage.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Ways to Find Out If He Still Loves You

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It's a horrible feeling to still be in love with a guy and not know if that is how he feels about you. It's a conflicting thing, because on the one hand, it does feel good to love someone. However, if it feels like they do not love you back or if you are just so confused that you are not sure... well, that can feel bad. If you are still in love with a man and you really want to know if he is still in love with you, pay close attention. There are some ways that you can judge whether or not he feels the same way about you.
I do want to warn you, though. Even though these ways can be pretty accurate and can indicate how he really feels, they are not full proof. If he is a good actor, or he just knows how to play games, then it can seem like he does still love you, when the truth is that he really does not. So, keep that in mind, as much as it sucks to have to do that, because you don't want to get your hopes up only to get them dashed really quickly.
So, what are some ways that you can tell if a guy still loves you?
1. If he still makes an effort to get in touch with you on a regular or semi regular basis, this can be a sign that he does still love you.
Just the fact that he makes that effort says something usually. Don't confuse him getting in touch with you for a quick romp to mean that he loves you, though. This is something that can end up causing you to make a bad decision or to end up feeling broken hearted down the line. His efforts have to be more than just so that he can get physical with you if you want to know if he does still feel that way about you.
2. He seems like he gets nervous when you talk to him or see him.
If he shows obvious signs of being nervous around you or even in just talking with you, then this can mean that he still cares deeply for you. Many men feel really nervous when they are harboring deep feelings for a woman, and this can show in pretty obvious ways. Fiddling with his hands, pacing back and forth, a change in his vocal tone, all of these things can be an indication that you make him nervous and that can be a good thing.
3. He wants you to be proud of him.
This is one of those things that a lot of women often overlook, but when a guy is still in love with a woman, he usually wants her to be proud of him. So, if he seems to want you to feel this way, then that can be a good indication. Does it seem like he wants to tell you about his little accomplishments and he is looking for positive feedback from you? If so, then he probably does still care about you and your opinion of him probably means a lot to him.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Ways To Make Him Want You and Only You!

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Capturing the attention of a man, is both simple and easy if you prepare yourself with the proper methods beforehand.  You do not need flawless features or even the best financial status to pique his interest. Although these would certainly not harm your cause, they are not mandatory to catch his attention and garner his interest in you. All you need are the following 5 strategies, a good attitude and a little luck; and you will be well on your way to developing a relationship with any man you so desire!
1. Be Cool -
Don't get all hyped over the fact that he is actually talking to you! Instead, act as though approaching him or getting approached is completely normal. As though you are not surprised but greatly humbled and willing to converse. Exclusivity should stay out of your vocabulary as well. Make him recognize that you are interested in him yet keeping your options open. So be sure not to bring up any marriage talk or future plans in the early stages of the relationship. If you do, you risk turning him away - if you don't, you open yourself up to his interest in you as he won't feel quite as 'tied down'.
2. Focus 
This might be difficult for some women to grasp as it is easy to become so obsessed with the thought of a decent relationship. However, you won't quite accomplish this kind of commitment if your life is currently out of balance. Men appreciate a woman who is interested in more than just him, (excluding other males). Most want to be with a woman who feel good about themselves, someone worthy of his love, and vice versa.
3. Use His Name -
This is probably the easiest yet most effective strategy within this list. By dropping his name into the conversation, in a subtle yet sexy way - gives your man a quick erotic boost that he didn't see coming. When you say his name, it will reassure him for just a moment that you are thinking of nobody but him. Use it casually in conversation, such as; "Then when I was finished with it Michael....there was no better feeling!" Drop his name on the sly during conversation, skip a beat, then finish your sentence. Use it sparingly and only when it counts. Up the sex ante by using this technique in a public setting, or by including slight physical contact in the process, such as placing your hand on top of his as you laugh, etc.
4. Develop Your Personality -
This one should be a no-brainer. If you do not feel at all comfortable around a male, any male and/or at any time, you need to work on yourself some. Men are men and will always be men. They can be brash, inconsiderate, silly, and so much more - but they still have a heart, and most will be willing to let you into it under the right circumstances. Learn to love yourself as well and be comfortable and confident with everything you do, everything you say, even everything you wear! 
5. Wear Fragrance -
Scent is considered the most primitive of all the senses, meaning the one we have evolved to associate with and remember the most. Using a fragrance correctly can be a significant aphrodisiac for your man, as it travels through his nose and up his limbic node until it reaches his brain and stimulates an emotional response. This way when you go in for a hello hug, you will awaken his senses and pique his interest.  Make him really want to know who you are by giving him the opportunity to approach and pursue you. There are multiple ways to go about this, but only a select few will ultimately trigger his desire to maintain a solid relationship.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Why Did he Cheat On Me!

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You may be one of the many wives that is wondering why your husband decided to cheat on you. You probably had what you considered to be a good marriage --perhaps with children -- and everything now seems ruined. If you are straining your mind trying to come to terms with the reason why your husband has cheated on you, you should understand that you are not alone. Anyone that has gone through the effects of an affair always has the same question.
The real reason
There is only one real reason why a person decides to cheat on a loved one. It all boils down to the same thing: There is a character flaw with the spouse that is cheating. That basically sums it up.
You see, whenever a couple get married they are entering into an agreement that they will remain faithful to one another for a lifetime. This means that even when things get bad, when sex is not available for weeks or even months at a time, when horrible arguments take place and everything seems to fall apart emotionally -- there will be no cheating.
Cheating on a spouse is not an option. If there are problems in the marriage they can be dealt with in another way. A marriage counselor can be sought. Once again, cheating is not an option that is left open.
The matrimonial vow is sacred and you pledge that you will never cheat on your spouse once you are married. That is a promise that you make to your future wife or husband during the marriage ceremony.
This means that any of the reasons that a husband comes up with for cheating are merely justifications for something done wrong. In almost every case in fact, the cheating husband is actually the one that created the problems or at least added to them.
This leads to the conclusion that there is a character flaw in the cheating husband. How deep this flaw goes will depend on how much remorse there is for the act done, how many affairs took place and how often and how emotionally involved the cheater was with the other lover.
Dealing with the character flaw
 You may not be able to fully comprehend what makes a person have an affair and instead of spending too much time trying to rationalize it, concentrate on your own healing instead. It is time better spent.
As a rational person that does not have a character flaw you can learn to deal with your own emotions to help the healing begin. This will be a process and you will learn and grow from it. You can start by developing your own communication skills so that you can better listen to your husband and deal effectively with what is being said. You'll also need to learn how to rebuild the trust that has been lost in the relationship and start building a new relationship that is built on honesty and communication.
Your cheating husband will have to commit to repairing the flaw in his character and make a new commitment to you and your marriage. Your husband will have to sort out what brought him up to the point where he could have an affair in order to prevent it from reoccurring. An apology will have to be made, a new commitment offered to the marriage and an agreement of honesty and transparency put in place from that point forward.
The focus will need to be on establishing a marriage that is even better than it was before and growing it every day. It is important to realize that you may not really fully understand what could lead a husband to cheat on his wife, especially when there is still love within the marriage.

Monday, July 11, 2011

Elements to a Great Relationship

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We all have many ideas about what makes a great relationship. Fidelity is usually at the top of the must have list. No one I know wants to have a relationship with a cheating partner. Couples want to feel confident that their intimacy is personal. Steve cannot profess his undying love to Chichi, if he's romancing six others around town. On the flip side, Chichi can't give herself totally to Steve if she wants to give her attention to other guys.  There are three fundamental characteristics of a great relationship. Honesty, expectation, and friendship are absolute necessities in unions that will thrive for a life time.
Every relationship needs and should promote honesty between one another. Honest people are not unfaithful, because they look squarely at what's missing or lacking in the relationship. Honest people are honest regardless of how uncomfortable the situation and it's just that simple. They tell the other party that certain needs are not being met or if they just want out of the commitment. A dishonest person creates excuses to over shadow their delinquent behaviour. For example, Chichi only cheats because her husband doesn't pay enough attention to her. She won't tell him about the affair because it would devastate him and the children. Yet, her marriage and children existed before the affair began. Preexisting circumstances cannot be used later as convenient excuses.
Couples must also be sure they share the same expectations to solidify a loving committed relationship. Barbara has been exclusively dating John, and fully hopes to marry him someday. John only wants to date Barbara for the foreseeable future. He thinks marriage only ruins a great relationship in the longterm. Barbara is aware of John's feelings and hopes he will simply change his mind as time passes. Their expectations for the relationship are clearly mismatched. Even platonic friendships can't survive without some identical expectations. Neither party wants to end the relationship because they are so much attached to each other. Nonetheless their relationship will end badly, because of conflicting expectations.
Friendship is the cornerstone of every lasting relationship. Sex can diminish over time or as a result of emotional circumstances. A strong bond is required to sustain closeness during these moments. Peter adored everything about Laura during the first few months. As time passes, he notices they don't seem to have very much in common. Peter no longer feels the same intense attraction to her that once burned inside of him. Lust alone is unsustainable because it unfortunately doesn't last forever. Once initial attraction has faded couples must see the other's flaws without the benefit of cloudy glasses.
Relationships must increase their capacity for honesty, have uniform expectations, and build a timeless friendship. Otherwise a once perfect union will ultimately collapse beneath the pressures of life.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Men Show Their Love Through Actions

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A man who really loves you will tell you that he loves you and he will also show it. A man who says that he loves you but whose actions do not love you is probably stringing you along. But how can you know that a man loves you with his actions. What are the ways that men show their love through actions?
I. He loves you with his time. Men show love by the way they use their time. A man who loves you will make the effort to spend time with you and it will be premium time and not left-over time.
a. Left-over time is time when he has nothing else to do after he has done all the things that are important to him. Left-over time is thus time when he is looking to get a need met after he has spent himself with everything and everyone that he has prioritized above you. He will meet with you only when it is convenient for him and thus he will only call when he is bored or when he has nothing better to do. He will be unavailable to you when you need him since you are low on his priorities. Does your man only spend time with you when he has nothing better to do? 
b. Premium time is time when he is not exhausted from other activities and it is time where he gives up other things or people for you. He has prioritized you in his life and so you can rely on him. He is available when he promises and he calls when he says he will call. You can tell that he has given up other things and people to spend time with you. If he gives you premium time then he loves you.
II. He loves you with his strength. Men show love using their strength and what they do with their strength and energy. In today's society most men spend their strength and energy earning money. Remember the saying 'where a man's heart is where his treasure lies'? 
III. He loves you with his mind. A man who loves you will love you intelligently. He will think through what you say to him and he will use his creativity to show you that he loves you. He will do thoughtful things for you and he will love you creatively. He will put thought into the things he does for you and in what he says to you. What he does for you or say may sometimes be inappropriate but that may be a result of his socialization and not his lack of love for you. Try and understand whether he loves you with his mind but is limited by his socialization so that you don't misunderstand him.
Men show their love through all that they are and have. Does he love you in the 3 key ways? If he does then rest easy as he really loves you. He may not love you well in all three areas but if you notice that he is making an effort then find a way to gently guide him in the right direction so that you both reap the maximum benefits from each other.