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Saturday, September 24, 2011

Ways to Heal a Broken Heart

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iguring out how to heal a broken heart is a very hard and painful process. Some people resort to alcohol and drugs to numb out their feelings while others indulge in food and overeating. Some go out and hook up with other people to fill the empty void after a break up while some jump into rebound relationships to get rid of that lonely feeling in the pit of their stomach.
Unfortunately, all of these things are just a quick fix and aren't truly helpful in dealing with a break up. So in this article, I'm going to share 5 tips for healing a broken heart that will actually help you in long the run instead of just giving you a temporary distraction from your misery.
Step 1: Accept that the Relationship is Over
Healing a broken heart is a process and the first step of that process is accepting that the relationship is really over. Until you do this, you are essentially denying the reality of the situation. And you can't truly move on with your life if you're living in denial.
The reason it's so tempting to live in denial is because we don't want to admit to ourselves that the relationship is really over. The thought of losing the person we love and living our lives without them is too painful. Instead, we want to cling to the hope of being able to work things out and get back together. However, in most cases, this is simply not possible because you guys broke up for a reason. And if you think those reasons are not going to be there if you guys get back together then you are only fooling yourself.
Step 2: Remember Why It Ended
People will go to any length to avoid pain and yet it's a well-known fact that losing the person you love is a very painful experience. So why someone would inflict this pain on both you and they if it's human nature to avoid pain at all costs?
It's because the pain of being in the relationship to them was far greater than the pain of losing the relationship. In other words, the relationship was no longer a source of joy and happiness for them. It was a source of frustration and disappointment and they felt unfulfilled. They were far more focused on the pain that being with you was causing them rather than the joy. This is what gave them the strength and courage to overcome the pain of losing you.
Well, if you want to get over your ex and move on with your life then you ought to do the same thing. Focus on all the bad things about the relationship. Concentrate on the things that made you unhappy. Recall the reasons why you broke up. This will give you a much more accurate and realistic picture of your relationship and remind you of why things ended. After a break up, it's tempting to idealize our ex and act like the relationship was much better than it really was. If that was truly the case, then it wouldn't be ending. Take off the rose-colored glasses and see it for what it really is.
Step 3: Allow Yourself to Grieve
You will certainly feel a variety of emotions after a break up, such as anger, loneliness, sadness, fear, jealousy, shame, humiliation, depression and despair. These feelings can also surface physically, like crying or feeling a pain in your chest as if your heart is breaking.
Not only are these "negative" emotions considered healthy, but they are also very important for you to feel in order to remain healthy. I know it may not seem like that right now because they're making you miserable but allowing yourself time to grieve is an important part of healing a broken heart.
So give yourself the permission to feel all these emotions and work through them as they come up. Repressing your emotions and burying your feelings may make it easier to cope with a break up day to day, but it will only make the feelings worse when they do eventually come back up. Now don't get me wrong, you don't have to walk around wearing your heart on your sleeve all the time. It's okay to sweep your feelings under the rug for a short period of time in order to get through the work day but be sure to revisit them frequently so that you can work through them and eventually let them go.
Step 4: Reflect on the Past
You will know when you're ready to reflect on the situation logically. In the early weeks, even the thought of your ex may send you into fits of sobs. But as time moves along, you will find yourself naturally contemplating the entire situation with logic rather than emotion. At this point, you are ready to see things a lot more clearly, especially with the help of hindsight.
Now is the time to determine what you learned from the relationship. No matter how good or bad the relationship was, and no matter how it ended, you have surely learned some valuable life lessons. There are always gifts that come with any relationship. It might be some realization that you had about yourself, what you want or what you don't want in your life. Think about how this relationship made you a stronger and better person. Assessing the good and bad and determining what you learned is absolutely essential in order to grow as a person and move on with your life.
The goal here is to turn your wounds into wisdom.
Remember, your wounds can make you bitter or your wounds can make you better. The choice is yours.
Step 5: Learn to Love Yourself Fully
After a breakup, we often start scrutinizing every aspect of ourselves. Were you not pretty enough? Not funny enough? Not exciting enough? The truth is that you were "enough" in every aspect, but getting this through your head after a breakup is like fighting an uphill battle. That's because we usually feel like we were somehow responsible for the break up. We like to think that if we had only been more ____, then they wouldn't have left us.
All I can say to that is that nothing your ex ever said or did is entirely about you. It's simply a reflection of who they are, where they're at in their life and what they value. Even if your ex blames you for everything that happened in the relationship, remember that it's only one side of the story. It takes two to tango and your ex is just another human being with their own imperfections and shortcomings. They have their own set of issues to deal with, as do you. So keep that in mind before putting all the blame on yourself.
Let go of your feelings of lack and realize that you are not any less worthy, whole and complete as a person just because things didn't work out with this particular partner. Remember that they are just one person. I know they were probably the most important person but they are, after all, just one person. The fact is two may have simply not been a good match for one another. I know it may have felt like they were "the one" when you guys first met but your true compatibility can only reveal itself over time. Unfortunately, the beginning of a relationship is often not the best indicator of what being in a relationship with that person is really like.
Remember this the next time you blame yourself for what happened. Realize that there's no way you could have foreseen any of these things in advance because a person's true character is only revealed over time. Yes, I know it hurts to face the fact that what you had is not what you thought it was but what can you do now? Dust it off and move on. Don't let one incompatible partner get you all down about yourself. There are plenty of people out there that will love you and appreciate you for who you are.
Acknowledge all your positive qualities and go out there and give people the gift of you!

Friday, September 23, 2011

Things That Turn Women off

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ost women can agree on common qualities in men that turn them off before they really even get to know them. They are simply one of those things that most women agree upon. Do you posses them? Here's a list of the top qualities that turn a woman off from a man - sometimes before she even talks to him.
v The Wandering Eye
A woman who is interested in you is watching you, even if it's from the corner of her eye. She's watching how you act and move and, maybe even more importantly, where you eyes wander. If you are checking out every single woman who walks into the place then you may be losing potential dates that you didn't even know that you had!
A wandering eye will tell her that you are not ready to be in any kind of relationship. Most women are looking for some sort of relationship or at the very least focused interest from a man. They are not looking for a man who will be checking out every single other woman who walks by. It may not be the truth about you but it's still how she will associate you with the wandering eye.
v A Seemingly Non-Interest in Her
If she notices that you don't look her way or don't really show some interest in her when you are talking to her then she will instantly get turned off by you. She doesn't want a man who has no interest in her or looks as if she is boring him to death. And if she feels that she doesn't even have the appearance to catch his eye then she's really not going to give it a try with him.
If you see a girl who you like then make sure you shoot her at least one glance that says I notice you. And if you are in a conversation with a girl then make sure that you pay attention to her and what she is saying to you. This will let her know that you are interested and give her the green light to go ahead.
v You Are Obviously Arrogant
I actually see this behavior a lot more than I think most people would believe. I think that guys think they are displaying self-confidence. And don't get me wrong, you want to display a sense of self-confidence, but if you are openly arrogant about yourself then you will cross a line into a territory where most women will not venture.
You can portray arrogance by giving her or other people dirty looks. You can also do this by talking about other people as if they are not as good as you. This is a really unattractive trait to a woman who might be interested in you, and she will instantly be turned off when she see's or hears your arrogant side.
v You Are Indecent
This is something that makes women not just turned off by a guy but physically sick to be around a guy.
 If you constantly display in public such acts like coughing, farting, picking nose and things like that, women are going to be turned off.  Make sure you avoid doing anything that is gross to a woman if you are single and looking, and in public.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Stop Nagging!

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If you were to ask men what is one thing they dislike the most in their beloved women, many of them would probably answer: nagging. The truth is: men simply hate it! Worse, the other side of the coin is that most women would not admit they nag their men. They would call it asking for things to get done or discussing issues. However, let us take a look at the male perspective on what they call "nagging" and what we can do to take it out of our relationships.
Famous writer Robert Stevenson said that "marriage is a long conversation interrupted by several quarrels." This is true to some degree. It is up to us to maintain a balance between the amount of sincere conversation and lengthy quarrels we have in our relationships.
Now, what is nagging for men and how does it differ from requests? The major difference between nagging and simple requests is the tone we use to say them. Interestingly, women sometimes just cannot switch from one tone of speaking to another at frequent intervals of time. Let us say you work on a managerial level and have men working for you. You get used to giving them orders and they have to fulfill them, too.
But when you come back home, it might be hard for you to change the tone and your requests may sound demanding. They sound to your men as orders of the boss, rather than the requests of the loving and beloved woman. At home, men dislike hearing orders; they start rebelling and call it nagging.
Another real example is a mommy, who stays with kids all day long and gets used to repeating things many times to get them through. This tone and manner of speaking might work well with kids, but it would certainly be viewed as nagging for the man. Men hate it when women keep repeating things to them many times. They feel they are forced to act without any consideration of their feelings.
Now why do men hate nagging and what is so aggravating about it for them? It is pretty obvious; they feel restricted, controlled and manipulated by such 'requests'. They become annoyed by constant repetition of telling them what you want them to do.
So where is the way out of this situation and how to turn nagging into requests men would be glad to fulfill? The trick is to change and watch the tone of your requests. Keep it nice and respectful. Avoid giving orders. Try to maintain a balanced tone whenever you need something to be done by your spouse and remember to talk in casual tones instead of a demanding one.
Stop repeating things many times even though it may be hard for you to control yourself. Men do forget the things women ask or tell them to do. Moreover, they may keep on forgetting things no matter how many times you ask. Try to find some more effective ways of communication than nagging. Try to write down the list of things to be done in a scribbling pad which you may hand over to your man. Alternatively, you may also use phones for sending SMS messages though make sure to be conscious also of the tone of your message.
Most of all, keep it simple and short. Prioritize what you want done and if possible request it one at a time or discuss issue in the same manner. If you flood him with several tasks or bring up several issues at once in a discussion, they will see that as nagging and tune you out. Nothing will get done or resolved. Adjust your approach a bit, be conscious of the tone you're using and keep it respectful, and you should find your man more receptive and willing to cooperate.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Natural Solutions for Premature Ejaculation

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The greater part of men has difficulties when it has to do with delaying their ejaculation and having a longer sex. For these men, they may find it satisfying but for their women partners it can be so annoying to have their partners climax and ejaculate when they are just nowhere near their orgasm. They also feel cheated and would hardly enjoy their sex life with such a partner. Sympathy for your partner should drive you to learn how to delay your ejaculation keeping in mind the golden rule of doing unto others what you would love them to do you. You may not actually be doing that on purpose but may not know how you can get rid of it. If this is the case with you; this article is a handy solution for you.
Despite the fact that with an improved sex practice and knowledge you could increase your ability to delay your ejaculation, there are many techniques that could be used to help you get rid of the problem immediately. Many men are taught the lesson of the disadvantages of premature ejaculation the first time they had sex with a woman. Men who hardly satisfy their women as a result of premature ejaculation seldom keep the relationship with such women. If you want a long and lasting relationship with your sexual partner, you must learn these techniques or else you will make the greatest mistakes of your life. The most cherished and lovely partner of yours could desert you as a result of this problem. Your married life can be nourished and maintained when you have dealt with the problem.
Natural Solutions for Premature Ejaculation
The  technique: During sex, continuously adjust positions to enable you to manage your emotions and keep them under complete control. Adjusting positions is efficacious especially when you change to the posture that reduces the rate at which your emotions run high.

Monday, September 19, 2011

How to Move On After a Break Up

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reaking up sometimes can be a good thing, but moving on after a break up is not as easy as replacing your dress after it gets dirty. Healing after a break up takes time. It takes a lot of courage and self-respect in showing your ex that you already moved on. The important thing to remember in a break is that it is not the end of the world life goes on. Start a healing process by accepting the fact that the relationship has ended.  Allow yourself to cry to help you release the frustrations and anxiety. Allow yourself to heal after you stop crying.
While in the process of moving on after a break up try many different things and accomplish something new in your career or personal life. Give yourself plenty of time to heal and recuperate. Get yourself busy. Use time to reflect on your life and set clear expectations for the future. If you love books, buy yourself a good one or a great dress, or the latest DVD movie. For the time being, be careful of the music you play since this can manipulate your emotions. Take long baths or engage yourself in favorite pastime activities to relax yourself.
Involve yourself into positive activities that make you feel good. Clear your minds of all negative feelings and do not drown yourself in alcohol. Go out and have fun with friends and loved ones. Surround yourself with people who understand your feelings and the emotions that you are going through. Get rid of the pictures and other things that will remind you about your ex.
When you are ready to move on after a break up; start dating again. Allow yourself to fall in love again and enjoy the start of a new relationship, but know your intentions. Don't be afraid to take risks. Take care not to be consumed in this new relationship; you never know when another break up may happen again. Learn from your past relationship but do not dwell from the past. Enhance the positive things you did during the past and work on your weaknesses during the past relationship. Before becoming involved in any one person, be sure you've learned from your past mistakes.
The most important key in moving on after a break up is to forgive your ex for hurting you. Let go of all your anger and bitterness towards them. Do not let a failed relationship scar you for life. Save your friendship and do not end the relationship in bitter terms as you might bump into each other again. It's a small world after all, who knows the possibility of rekindling your relationship in the future.
Learning from mistakes, enjoying the pros of the situation in finding yourself, and moving on is the secret to happiness. Remember that a healthy relationship is one that adds to your life

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Touching is Effective! Find Out...

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A marriage can be something of beauty and passion or it can be a curse and a burden to bear. What you will experience in your marriage is completely dependent on how you and your spouse view, treat, and communicate with each other. With this in mind, here are the basics to enhance your relationship, and fully enjoy the beauty that your marriage truly is.
Interestingly enough, but not so surprising; almost all couples with many years of marriage behind them all say that they touch and play on a consistent basis. Almost every couple with 10 or more years of a happy marriage volunteered the fact that they hold hands when they walk, they make love, and somehow just find time to touch each other any way possible. Notice I said a happy marriage. Since we are looking at a marriage survival guide, we are only interested in how to be as happy as possible. Also, notice the fact that this information is typically volunteered, and not prompted as a question. Obviously, those who have happy and successful long term marriages attribute touching and sexual activity to part of their success.
Another interesting yet unfortunate observation with newer couples is that some begin to think that they want a happy relationship without the touch. Possibly this stems from such vigorous empty physical contact in their learning relationships, that they mistakenly associate the beautiful physical aspect of a healthy relationship with a characteristic of an empty and temporary one. This is a recipe for disaster.  Till you both have had time to learn about each other; I do not believe or agree with restricting physical touch. There is nothing wrong with a little touching and building a physical bond (even building anticipation and excitement) in the early stages of a relationship.
Human touch is magical and even healing, not to mention one of the key survival tips for a marriage. It is well known that babies will thrive with physical contact from its parents. Our need for touching does not go away when we become adults. In fact, our need and desire to be touched lovingly grows as we grow older. Touching does not have to be sexual, but if it is, there is nothing wrong with that. Cuddling, holding hands, kissing, making love, stroking hair; any form of intimate touching is going to add to a relationship. It keeps two people close and keeps them focused on each other. Touching and sexual activity is not only healthy for the individual; it is healthy for the relationship.
If you are satisfying each other's touch desires, you will be less likely to experience infidelity in your relationship. While there may be many "reasons" for infidelity, the need or want of physical contact or physical appreciation ranks the highest on this topic. Infidelity is one of those events in the life of any relationship that is difficult if not impossible to work through and heal from. While we should be able to expect our partner to remain completely faithful, it never hurts to lessen the risk of it happening. Anything we can do to strengthen our relationship and bond with our spouse, is a wise and profitable investment in our own happiness.
Touching not only gives your spouse things they need, it encourages the same back to you. It is a great enabler of reciprocal actions. By building this reciprocal thinking in each other, you are injecting this mentality into all aspects of the relationship. Since touching is such an easy thing to do, it is the perfect stimulus to instigate such a healthy behaviour between the two of you. But besides all the indirect benefits of the giving and receiving of each other's touch, you will get to also enjoy the direct benefits of it as well. With so many benefits, it is easy to see why this is a marriage survival technique every married couple should know.