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Saturday, October 1, 2011

Make Him Want to Spend Time With You

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o you feel that you have to force your man to spend time with you? Does he seem to find other people and activities more engaging than you? Then let us look at some ways in which you can turn the tide on that and make him want to spend time with you.
©    Be happy in your own feminine skin. You must be feminine and happy in your own skin so that you give out a positive aura that will draw him to you. If you are unhappy with your womanly body and traits then invariably there will be an aura of sadness and negativity around you that will have a repealing effect on him. But if you enjoy being a woman; you have made peace with how you look and are dressing your shape so that you feel and look great then you will have a joy and confidence that he will want to be around.
©    Have an interesting life.  If you spend your days bored and disengaged from life in each other’s presence you will feel a need to escape from each other in order to find someone or something that will invigorate both of you.
©    Encourage his other interests. You are both complex human beings that have varying desires and needs that you alone cannot meet in and for each other so encourage him to pursue a sporty passion or other such activities that gets his adrenalin flowing. When you give him room to enjoy his other interest away from you then he will not resent spending time with you as he will no longer feel trapped or coerced into being with you.
©    Let the time together be about both of you. You should be a safe place for him so don't dominate the conversation or insist on doing only those things that interest you while ignoring your partner's needs. If the time with you meet his needs then he will want to spend time with you but if it does nothing for him then he will avoid spending time with you.
©    Don't let it be a time of talking about all that is wrong with him and your relationship. If you tend to look at this time together as your nag-him-to-action time then he will avoid spending time with you as none wants constant criticism however wayward they may be. Let it be a time of more positive reinforcement of your partner and a regrouping as a team. Yes bring out what is not working but with the purpose of getting a workable solution and not to blame him for it. If he realizes that spending time with you makes him feel good and gives him something practical that he can do then he will want to spend time with you.
©    Take him by the hand and tell him exactly what it is you want. Don't assume that he understands what you want from him. And don't assume that he doesn't enjoy your company as he may simply be clueless since men and women don't always see things from the same lens. Sit down with him and explain to him in simple terms what it is that you want and negotiate a compromise with him so that he understands how important spending time together is to you.
For him to want to spend time with you then he must see the benefits of spending that time with you. It must be time that builds you both and your relationship.

Friday, September 30, 2011

How to Build a Satisfying and Healthy Relationship

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atisfying and healthy relationships that can sustain the test of time should be built on shared values, interests and chemistry. Each of these aspects needs to be present like a cog in a well running machine. If one is missing, then unhappiness, dissatisfaction and/or break up is likely.
The most common mistake in couples is the relationship gets built on chemistry alone. Chemistry, if not accompanied by shared values and interests, will only sustain you for a certain amount of time. It may make the relationship very satisfying in the beginning, but as chemistry dissipates to some degree which it naturally does in all cases, the lack of connection on other levels will become more apparent and magnified.
On the other hand, another common mistake is that relationships get built on shared interests and/or values and there is no chemistry. This is not going to work either. Without chemistry, the shared values and interests will only take you so far. The relationship lacks depth, intimacy, and satisfaction. As time goes on, this will degrade not only the relationship, but the quality of life for each partner.
The third mistake is that some relationships get built on need, while chemistry, shared values and interests are all lacking. The most common scenario in this situation is that a partner needs the other. Their partner takes care of them, does things they are not capable of and/or provides for them. However, it may take the form of both partners needing each other. Some individuals enjoy being the needed partner initially because it boosts their self-esteem or ego when they can be the strong rescuer, but this will take a toll on them as the relationship continues.
The first and most important step in relationship building is to be aware going in that there will be challenges to overcome and be prepared to face them. Don't wear rose-colored glasses that set you up for unrealistic expectations. Satisfying and healthy relationships take awareness, work and time.
Know what your personal ground rules are before hand and share them up-front. Don't hold things back until later; because it is better that you find out early in the relationship, before feelings become too deep, if your needs are incompatible and there is no way to negotiate.
Compare your ground rules and see how many of them must be negotiated. Weigh things out; how important are the differences, are there any that you can bend or let go of? What can you live with or without? Be sure to be honest with yourself. Good communication and honesty is of the utmost importance. Don't just jump in and hope for the best.
With all that being said, it's also important to be aware that what I've laid out here is an ideal. A deep and satisfying relationship based on shared values, interests and chemistry is our goal, but it takes time to get there. However you can't reach a destination if you don't first have a description of where you're going and are aware of the baggage you have to overcome to get there. You strive to have the healthiest and most satisfying relationship you can achieve, but it doesn't have to be perfect. The compromises you are willing to make are yours alone to make and not to be judged.
Building satisfying and healthy relationships is a process, not many people hit the jackpot on the first try. The relationship that did not work out served as a vessel to help us grow. It takes us from one place to another emotionally and spiritually. 

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Reasons Why he Keeps Running From Commitment

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Your partner keeps running from commitment. Maybe for a time you looked the other way because you thought he would eventually change. He hasn't and you've been together long enough for him to know that a commitment is what you desire most in the world. Perhaps you've been trying to drop subtle clues about how you wish he would just propose. Or you may be the type of woman who just throws caution to the wind and speaks her mind by asking her man to marry her. Regardless, nothing has worked to this point and you're still the ever-doting girlfriend who feels unappreciated and unfulfilled. Until you understand why he keeps shying away from the idea of investing himself in a more serious relationship with you, nothing is going to change.
Here are 3 reasons why your partner may be running from commitment with you:
His parents went through a muddy divorce. It's been said that our childhoods shape us and that's often the case when it comes to matters of the heart and our ability to forge ahead with romantic relationships. Many kids go through messy divorces while they are still young enough to not fully grasp what it means. It can impact a child forever if they aren't given the necessary tools to work through what they feel. This may actually be the reason behind your man's reluctance to commit to you. If he witnessed his parents' relationship falling apart before his eyes and he was hit with the emotional shrapnel of that, a commitment just may not be something he's willing to give. Many men and women, for that matter, in this position don't even fully realize the lingering effects of their parents' marital breakdown. You may have to be the one to suggest that, it may be an issue that you two can begin working through together.
He's not in a financial position he's comfortable with. Decades ago there was an expectation that once a couple married, the man would become the sole provider so his wife could stay home to tend to making dinner and raising children. Although many couples now are in a financial position to do just that, the majority of us aren't. Life, in general, is an expensive proposition and it tends to take two salaries to keep a family afloat. If your partner sees himself as the sole monetary hero in your relationship, you may be waiting endlessly for him to pop the question. If he doesn't feel he has the financial stability to provide for you and for any future children the two of you may be blessed with, marriage and commitment won't even be on his radar. Obviously, you can talk to him about the fact that your career is an essential part of your identity and something you're not ready to give up. You need to expect a bit of a discussion if he's views his salary as the gauge for whether or not he can make a serious commitment to you.
He doesn't see you as a long term life partner. Men and women develop feelings in a relationship at different paces. Even though you may be at an emotional point where you're more than ready to make a commitment to him, he may not be in that same position. Although men often initially fall in love faster than women do, it does take longer for a man to invest himself emotionally in the relationship to the point where he's ready to commit himself completely. You can typically tell if your guy is experiencing some hesitation in this regard if he never talks about your future together or he abruptly changes the subject when you begin to bring up marriage or commitment. In this case, your patience may serve you well although you do have to be mindful of the fact that he may never feel as close to you as you do to him.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Getting a Guy to commit-Possible or Impossible?

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eing in a relationship with a guy you are ecstatic about being with can be a great thing. It can make you feel as if life is working out for you and like you are finally getting what you deserve. All of that can get flipped upside down though, if you start to get the impression that he is not going to commit to you. It's one of those issues that women face that does not seem to show any signs of going away. How do you get a guy to commit to you? Is it possible or is it impossible?
Getting a guy to commit to you is not impossible, though it can seem that way at times. There are some men who just will not make that commitment however hard you try though, and you want to be sure that you are not involved with a man who fits that bill. If you are, you might just be wasting your time and your energy on him when you could be better served using that time and energy on yourself.
How do you know if he is the kind of guy who will not commit to you no matter what?
It can be hard to tell, especially if he is the kind of guy who has no problem with saying one thing while meaning another. However, there are some clues that you may want to look for if you are not sure if he is the guy who can make a commitment to you or not.
Here are a couple of clues that he is not really going to make that commitment that you want:
1) He skirts around the issue so that he does not really have to talk about it at all.
2) He generally avoids responsibility in all other areas of his life.
3) He is overly flirtatious with other women.
Those are not the only signs that he is not the kind of guy who can make a commitment, but they are ones to watch out for.
Now, how do you get a guy to commit if he is the type who can do that sort of thing?
1) Be very careful about pushing his buttons over the issue. Yes, you do want to get an answer and you do not want to be strung along, but if you press too hard - you might lose him when he was getting ready to make that commitment to you.
2) Make him see the difference between having you in his life and NOT having you in his life. People sometimes fail to see what their life would be like without the person that they are in a relationship with, and sometimes just getting him to see this will be enough to make him want to commit to you.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Learn What Works and Does Not Work Before You Make Another Mistake!

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Time and again I have seen many relationships end badly, whereas their fallout could have been saved or even avoided!
Mostly, this kind of occurrence is due to a lack of communication, trust, and harmony between the two. The love was certainly there, but it wasn't being acknowledged quite as often - nor as sufficiently as it should.
If you feel like your relationship is slowly slipping through your fingers, or your man just isn't as interested as he once was - use the following 7 tips to help rebuild that solid foundation, and make the both of you feel loved and adored as you once were!
  • Speak Clearly... and deliberately. If you have something on your mind that makes you concerned or stressed out, share it with your man. Developing a deep connection is to open up and share all parts of yourself with the other half - so give him the opportunity.

Be careful not to come off as too aggressive or hostile when you approach him to share these thoughts. He may feel as though he is being attacked and close himself off, rather than open himself up to console and help.
  •  Don't Be a Female Dog... and hound him all day. Instead of feeling productive, you will both feel annoyed and upset. Try not to nag, hover, spy, or get upset over petty occurrences.

Instead, initiate the first tip and talk things through - you are a team. When true love is at its finest, there is nothing you cannot overcome together.
  • Be You... and it is that easy! If he is worthy, he will have fallen for you because of all the little reasons that make up your character. So deliver nothing but the best!
  • Give Him His Top of The "exotic ingredients"... and watch as he drools at the thought of digging in. If you are worried that your man might become unfaithful or stray in some way from his loyalty to you - there is a quick and easy fix!

Give him some seriously good love at home and he won't bother to look elsewhere. If you feel awkward or uncomfortable, say so to your man, but then back up that thought by saying how excited you are to try new things regardless.
Force him to realize that he can gape all he wants at the cheap big-bite on the streets - but he will always have his delicious meal waiting back at home!
  • Speaking of Food... learn how to prepare his favourite dish or some new recipes. If you can read, you can teach yourself something new. There is always room to improve your best, so up your skill-sets and aim to impress him with your irresistible initiative and ambitious goal-setting!
  • Show Your Support... and be his favourite little cheerleader in whatever hobby of his he is passionate about the most. Cheer him on, get excited about it, and encourage that he learn new things as well.

In fact, try learning something new and different together - you will bond over the unfamiliar, create a new memory, and develop a deeper connection!
  • Respect Him Always... and never take him for granted. Appreciate and acknowledge the big and little things that he does for you, and don't hesitate to return the favour!

Follow these guidelines and the two of you will be well on your way towards romantic bliss.

Monday, September 26, 2011

Make Yourself Irresistibly sexy to Your Man

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o be irresistibly sexy to your man will mean that in his eyes you will have a combination of charm, appeal and charisma that he simply cannot resist. When you can achieve this in your relationship then it is a blissful state to be in for both you and your man. So how can you be irresistibly sexy to your man?
1) Look and feel sexy. Sexiness is something that will flow from you when you feel and dress in a way that makes you feel feminine and happy to be you regardless of your imperfections. What clothes or accessories bring out your best features and make you feel sexy and attractive? What makes you feel feminine and brings out what you know are your best features? What grooming tricks make you feel attractive? What about your hair, face, nails and toes...what style or care makes you feel good and attractive? Then use these types of clothes, accessories and grooming habits to make you feel feminine and good. If you feel feminine and sexy in your own skin then you will be irresistibly sexy to your man.
a) Take care of your physical health. A proper diet and exercise will do wonders for you and get your feel good hormones flowing. You can eat most things in moderation or with simple changes and use of healthy ingredients. Exercise programs have expanded and if you look around you will find something that suits your temperament and time constraints. You can go to the gym or walk out or do a variety of fun things. When your body releases those feel good hormones then you exude a joy and charm that will be irresistibly sexy to your man.
b) Take care of your mental state. What are you doing today to open up your world and mind to new experiences? Staying in your comfort zone may be comfortable but every now and then you need to try something that is new and scary to you so that you can grow as a person. It may be public speaking or writing that poem that has been wandering around in your mind or publishing that book that you have wanted to get out of you or whatever thing you have desired to do but fear or inaction has kept you captive. The experience will invigorate you and you will glow with a joy of life that will be irresistibly sexy to your man.
2) Do him good every day. You want him to start realizing how awesome you are as a partner so think of what he would love done for him every so often. You do not of course want to be his new slave but you want to treat him to something special every day or every so often. This may mean giving him time to unwind and be quiet for a while or supporting his sporting activity or whatever will bring him special joy. You are one of his closest friends so you would be best placed to know what tickles his fancy. If you do not know you may need to either observe him closely or simply ask him. You want him seeing your interest and care for him as that will be irresistibly sexy to him.
3) Flirt with him as often as possible. You want him thinking sexy thoughts about you and so find creative ways to get him thinking that way. Flirty jokes or comments or touches will get his mind working in that direction. This can be fun especially when he is at work or far away from you. You know your man... what works for him and you? You want to put sexy ideas about you into his head in a tasteful and fun manner so that wherever he may be you will be irresistibly sexy to him. Done properly a good flirt will be irresistibly sexy to your man.
To be irresistibly sexy to your man starts with you and how you feel about yourself and your life. It then overflows to your man as a benefit to your relationship.