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Saturday, October 22, 2011

How Can I Tell If It's Love?

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Many people ask this question, of all ages, sizes, shapes and colours. Why? Because they remember telling themselves “not to fall in love.” However, further down the road, the mind ignored the first set of orders given to it, and the heart took over. Many people don't even realize when "love" occurred.
So they go on with their lives, only to wake up one morning, depressed, beyond belief and not knowing what the "real" problem is.
Sometimes, not all the time, it's only a matter of "you" breaking your heart.
Before you end a relationship, or throw a relationship under the bus, you might want to be sure that your heart is in harmony with your mind. The heart can be cruel, when ignored.
Below are 9 ways to help you know if you are in-love.
1. You can't wait to see the person, even if you been together for a long time. (If you push the thoughts out of your mind, that it doesn't count.) You are only ignoring the heart, and one day the heart will get you back, for ignoring it!)
2. Before you go to sleep at night, and first thing when you wake up, your thoughts are on him/her. Careful, if these thoughts are negative, you might want to make a mental note, to, "change negative thoughts to positive thoughts"
3. You know you might be in love because before you make a decision, you think about how your decision will affect him/her.
4. You may have a need to touch him/her, all the time.
5. You are usually in love when you won't eat the last piece of diet, without making sure he/she has had enough!
6. If he/she gets sick, you pray that they will be OK.
7. If he/she hurts you, usually, you will find an excuse for why they hurt you. And in some cases, just ignore the inner pain which they caused (this may or may not be healthy).
8. You live for yourself and for him/her. Sure your family, friends and job are important, but you can't even begin to think about a life without them.
9. You know you are in love when you look at your partner and you see yourself.
Love brings up everything unlike itself, before it stabilizes. Being in love in the beginning usually means you have a long rocky road ahead of you. Love stories for centuries; have been top of the line entertainment, because reading or watching how a couple manages to manifest their love is more than entertaining, it’s enlightening.
Even if you feel hopeless, with very few options in life, love will, and can bring you through to the other side. This is why it's always important to remember that the love you give is really for you.

Friday, October 21, 2011


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Integrity is being lost in marriages, businesses, sports, TV, and even the government. It is a word that seems to have no meaning to people anymore. If you want to start saving your marriage, and stop divorce from winning the battle, I hope you are not making a simple mistake that has cost many couples their marriage. Being honest and true to yourself and your spouse is an extremely simple task, and shouldn't be a problem in a marriage that is supposed to be filled with love, yet it seems to be.
How can you save your marriage by using integrity? Well it's simple really; don't lie, and be upfront.
If you're feeling guilty about doing something, then don't do it. You will naturally tell yourself what you know is right and wrong. Even if your spouse doesn't know about what you're doing whether you are cheating, flirting, watching adult content or anything else, but you know they would be upset. Then you still shouldn't do it if you know it is wrong. Being honest with yourself is the first step, from there being honest with your spouse should be fairly easy.
Having a marriage built on integrity will always outlast a marriage that is built on lies, or even small amount of dishonesty. Working towards a marriage that is completely honest will take some time, but it should be a goal for both of you! If your marriage is in trouble because of dishonest related issues, it is time to come clean. It is the first step in saving your marriage. Once you both come clean with lies you may have told and whatever else, you both will feel relief. It may be hard to accept certain things that they tell you, but you are starting a new chapter now so explain to them how you feel with certain things they tell you. And be honest about how you feel, if something bugs you, let them know. This is a new beginning remember, you are now about to save the marriage!
From there on out, just try to be open with each other, communicate with each other, and be honest with each other. As the integrity level grows within your marriage, it will keep getting stronger, and so will your marriage. The feeling of love and trust will be fulfilling and divorce will no longer even be in the horizons for you and your spouse.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Ways to Improve Your Relationship

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our relationship with your spouse or partner can be, ideally, a safe harbour of intimacy and teamwork. To build and sustain this bond, however, takes conscious attention. Taking the time to nurture the connection with your mate is crucial to avoid taking one another for granted. Read on for ten things that you can do to deepen your feelings of closeness with your loved one.
*  Say "please" and "thank you" to your partner. Just because you are comfortable with your partner does not preclude using the language of common courtesy in daily interactions. Expressing appreciation for the little things is encouraging and unifying.
*  Give your partner a hug. Just when it's feeling like the natural time to pull away, stay in the embrace a few extra moments.
*  Pick something specific that your partner did or said and compliment it. Positive reinforcement is powerful and builds bonds.
*  Control your urge to ask for a compliment right away from your partner. There's time. Your relationship is a marathon, not a sprint.
*  Practice self-care. Carving time out for you is important to mental and physical health. We can't give to our partner if we have nothing left to give. Try some deep breathing or anything else that renews your spirit.
*  Share Your Gratitude List. Take a few moments, perhaps cuddled on the couch together, to take turns sharing five things for which you're each grateful. Go even further by making this a regular ritual.
*  Get Out of A Rut. Does the television come on every night after dinner? Try shaking up your routine by taking a walk around with your partner instead, or playing a card game. Activities like these spark conversation and encourage connection.
*  Exhibit Curiosity about Each Other. What's something new you could learn about your partner today? Maybe it's something from the past such as a standout childhood memory. Perhaps it's something in the future like a five-year goal or fantasy career path. There's always something new to explore about your partner's inner world.
*  Share Meals Together. While this might be difficult due to conflicting schedules, make a commitment to eating together as often as possible. Sitting down to dinner together is an opportunity to hear about your partner's day and to share yours as well. Set the alarm for a half an hour earlier in the morning to connect over a cup of coffee or tea.
*  Have a New Experience As a Team. Doing something new can be energizing and invigorating on an individual level, and the same is true in a relationship. Imagine what it would feel like to take a holiday trip with your partner and conquer the rapids as a team. Result? A shared positive experience of giving to each other.
What other ideas can you think of to enhance the feelings of closeness with your partner? Challenge yourself to come up with more ideas to keep your relationship fresh.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Words That Hurt or Words That Heal

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A well spoken word can open doors and the same can be said for words spoken between two people in a marriage or relationship. Good communication is the life-blood of a good relationship, one that is satisfying and strengthening for each person involved. These skills if not learned while growing up, can be fostered through learning what works through trial and error, or from good resources like role models, teachers, counsellors, courses or books.
If you are struggling with your relationship, you might prefer to get some help from an expert rather than try to muddle through with the risk of losing the relationship altogether. Sometimes there just isn't the time to try to learn slowly. A proven way to get your relationship or marriage back on track is what is needed immediately.
In this situation, learning good communication skills with an expert either in person, or through resources such as books on communicating well with your partner, can work very well. Using methods that have been tested by many other couples can give you the confidence that these resources can help you too.
Just because you love each other and you know each other, doesn't mean that you can afford to get complacent in the way you speak to each other.
When we do not resolve little disagreements as they occur and they build up, eroding the respectful way of treating one another, it affects the way we communicate too. This will not let the other know that they are loved and appreciated. It makes us feel like we are not valued.
We have to change how we speak to each other and individually try to make a personal commitment to speak kindly and in a respectful way to and about each other every day.
This will not happen overnight, but slowly and surely can strengthen and build up our relationship. More importantly, You can be each others' best friend!
Good communication involves being willing to learn how to, and a commitment to persevere.
You can make your relationship better, and there is no better time to start than right now.

Monday, October 17, 2011

Foreplay is important!

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 Some people expect that all they need to do is touch their partner and sex will automatically follow. Indeed that is often the difference between sex and making love. Sex can become the perfunctory act of letting off sexual steam but doesn't really make the other person feel closer or valued. It may not feel especially loving.
Both men and women can feel used in these situations. I know of several men who feel that their partner uses them just for sex. They have become a sex buddy and whilst that may have seemed great at first, indeed their friends may be envious of their no-strings sexual relationship, they themselves have started to feel dirty and resentful of the situation.
Let's look at the deal with foreplay.
- It builds rapport between a couple. Getting to know each others' bodies, enjoying touching, tasting, smelling, and enjoying the responses as they share intimacy is an important way of becoming more familiar and more sexually compatible with each other. It also improves confidence in other areas, as foreplay can be a precursor to becoming more relaxed and chatting, discussing areas that need to be addressed.
- Spending time with each other is important. Often in a busy life the only really personal time a couple spend together may be in the privacy of their bedroom. Some people are so tired that when they eventually get into bed the thought of sex may be exhausting. Time spent being intimate and sexy without being sexual can be special, fun, relaxing time.
 On occasion a cuddle or a little intimacy may be all that is wanted.   Learning to enjoy foreplay in its own right is important. Enjoying the appetizers before the main course is sometimes more than sufficient.
- It provides reassurance. When a couple are stressed and too tired for sex, foreplay can provide closeness and contact, the reassurance that they are still attractive and fancied by their partner. If one person does not want sex, foreplay can maintain intimacy between the couple. It is also a good way to alleviate tension and stress and can help a couple relax and sleep better.
- It can improve the quality of the sexual act. Learning new ways of pleasuring each other, being adventurous and trying different things, taking time with making love allows the experience to last longer and become more exciting. It provides an opportunity to practice, discuss and introduce different ways of enjoying the sexual experience together.
- Not all foreplay has to be in bed. Some people enjoy teasing, flirting, suggestively tantalising each other away from the bedroom. Flirting in public can be an exciting way of demonstrating that you still find each other attractive. And it can make the recipient feel special about themselves and confident in the relationship.
Foreplay can be a sexy way of playing, demonstrating that you fancy each other, find each other attractive. It can be a precursor to making love or, on occasion be enough on its own. Either way, foreplay is an important way of communicating and enhancing your relationship.