ne of the most common problems in a marriage comes from a lack of proper communication techniques. Learning proper ways of communicating with your spouse can turn any marital problems you may be experiencing around quickly. Communication in marriage is so important in a relationship; bad communication or lack of it can actually destroy your relationship. In fact, some may say that communication is the single most important aspect in a marriage. You will be very surprised by what you can accomplish when you learn to communicate and listen instead of talking and hearing. Can you see the difference?
Let Your Feelings Out
If you really want to begin learning effective communication with your spouse, you will want to get the negative feelings out. If you harbour negative feelings and thoughts about your spouse without letting them out, not only will these feelings consistently tug on your heart and thoughts, you stand the chance of letting them come out at the worst times.
If you let your feelings out in a controlled environment, such as a simple planned discussion with your spouse, this will be much better situation than letting it out without thinking before you speak.
Be Careful of Negativity
Unloading all of your negativity onto your partner at once is one of the worst things you can do. This is certainly not an effective communication method. Though as mentioned above, you should make sure you are letting negative feelings out, you don't want to let them out at one time without mixing positives in there as well.
If your spouse feels like they are getting flooded with negative feelings, you can place a sure bet that they are going to lash out with defensive behaviours, which again, is very ineffective when it comes to proper communication in marriage. Don't be afraid to let negative feelings out when you are communicating with your partner, but don't give them all negative feelings. Point out some of the things you love about them as well and make sure you are thinking before you speak.
Listening instead of Hearing
Communication in marriage is not a one way street and you should not expect to be the only person talking during a planned discussion. You need to listen just as much as you are speaking. Effective listening is just as important as speaking.
The difference between listening and hearing is actual understanding. You may hear the words your spouse is telling you, but without listening, you cannot understand what they are saying. You should allow your partner to tell you what they have on their mind without you jumping to a conclusion or interrupting them with your own thoughts or feelings. It is important to acknowledge your partner's feelings with positivity.
Let Time Pass
It is true that time can heal wounds and you should also allow time to pass before making any rash decisions or giving your partner a rebuttal during a long discussion. Let the information and opinions sink in and always think before you speak.
When you are ready to speak, make sure your tone is calm and even. Shouting should have no place in these discussions.
Resolve Problems before Stopping the Talk
When you have planned to have a discussion with your spouse, it is important to resolve every problem that you can reasonably resolve before closing the doors of communication. Though you cannot possibly solve everything in one discussion, you can certainly feel better about your spouse after communicating and this is where you should be before you decide to end the talking for the time.
Discussing a plan of resolution with your spouse can help you work on any problems in your marriage together. When you work together, you work as one, which is just what a marriage should be.