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Saturday, December 31, 2011

"I" Does Not Exist in "We"

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ow often do you find yourself wishing that the word 'I' didn't exist in your partner's vocabulary? Does it seem as though every time they open their mouth to voice a concern in your relationship, "I" is the first thing you hear? Has it gotten to the point that as soon as you hear the word, your ears stop working and your guards start to go back up? Unfortunately, this is all too common in many relationships.
Perception of Selfishness
The letter 'I' is present in both "relationship" and "selfish". When it is used constantly in the former, it gives the impression of the latter. There are times when one partner may feel as though they aren't receiving the things that they need to be happy in their personal relationship. How this unhappiness is conveyed, can have a direct impact on how it's received.
Constantly bombarding your partner with phrases like, "I need" or "I want", will instantly cause them to turn a deaf ear to your complaints. The first thing that they will most likely think is that you are being selfish; that you are only concerned with what you need and want. As a result, they will respond with, "well, what about what I need?"
Open the Door to Effective Communication
People fail to realize how easy it is to open the door to conversations of this nature. It doesn't have to be an argument, a spat or a debate. With one simple question, healthy exchange can be initiated and all of your concerns can be voiced. Nine times out of ten, you've never thought about it this way because you've been too busy complaining about what you need and want.
Is there anything that you feel you aren't getting from me?
That simple question can put you on the path to happiness. Now, the answer to that question will vary depending on the situation. At the same time, it opens the door for effective communication and gives you the opportunity to present your grievances in a relaxed atmosphere; greatly reducing the probability of a heated argument.
The key to effective communication in this instance is to rephrase your complaints so that they come across as a solution that will benefit you both. Instead of complaining that you need more time, make a suggestion; "we should spend more time together because it will..." Don't sound like you're whining about not receiving enough attention; say something like, "maybe we need to be more attentive toward one another". It makes a huge difference and the results will show it!
As you can see, these simple word changes stop you from looking selfish and make you appear more concerned. It doesn't sound like you are only thinking about yourself, but how the both of you can do things to improve the current situation. There is no way to maintain a healthy relationship when all you think about is yourself and you want your partner to think about you too. Eventually, someone will feel as though they have been left out to dry. That's when you open the door for a whole different set of problems to come into play.
For every lesson in life, there's an article to be written!!!

Friday, December 30, 2011

Secrets of Great Sex (Mature Minds Only)

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very man wants to give his woman GREAT SEX, but very few ever do. The reason why most men fail to give their women great sex is because they do not truly understand what women want, need and desire IN THE BEDROOM.
And if you don't know and understand what a woman wants -- you can't give it to her.
Makes sense, right?
With that said, you are about to discover 3 SEXUAL SECRETS about women and the bedroom that most men will never know. Knowing these sexual secrets will give you the understanding of women that you need to have in order to give your woman GREAT SEX.
So please read on carefully as this has the power to INSTANTLY improve your 'sex-life' and intimate relationship...
1. Women Love Sex, But Only GREAT SEX
The first secret about women is that they absolutely LOVE sex. In fact, contrary to what many men think -- women love sex just as much as men.
But women are different in their love of sex when compared to men because they only want GREAT SEX, whereas 90% of men are happy to 'just be getting some'.
In order to live the 'sex-life' of your dreams, you must first know that women love sex when it's really really good.
2. There Must Be 'Sexual Balance' In the Bedroom
The next sexual secret is that there needs to be SEXUAL BALANCE in the bedroom.
Everything in life needs balance, right?
If you're all about money, but your health and relationship are lousy -- you're out of balance and you will feel unfulfilled.
If you're really healthy, but you have no money -- you're unbalanced and you know that things need to improve.
IN THE BEDROOM, things are no different -- there must be balance.
I use the term SEXUAL BALANCE to describe the balance between a woman being sexually submissive and a man being sexually dominant.
The trouble is, most men don't know how to be dominant in the bedroom.
To be dominant and achieve sexual balance in your bedroom you must take control and lead your woman. Then you can have GREAT SEX.
3. Women Are Creatures of Sexual Reciprocation
This is the sexual secret that will get you EVERYTHING you ever dreamed of in the bedroom and most guys just don't 'get it'.
This concept says that women are creatures of sexual reciprocation and its meaning is both simple and VERY POWERFUL...
Basically, women give as good as they get.
So if you want to have the best of sex in the bedroom -- first you must give your woman mind-blowing pleasure, including VAGINAL ORGASMS.
Do that -- and she will 'reciprocate' and give you everything you want in return. Guaranteed!

Thursday, December 29, 2011

The Importance of Devotion

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fter trust, intimacy, and cooperation, comes devotion. Devotion is recognition that you have found a level of deep harmony in a relationship. Heart has opened and embraced and the mind no longer wanders. You feel a connection to each other and something more. It is this something more that gives the magic feel to a relationship. It is the purpose for why two lovers meet and a potential indicator of what the relationship can achieve in partnership with the universe.
Relationships are a doorway for people to achieve higher awareness of themselves and life, if they have been brought together in love. Devotion is a level of growth in a relationship of love where unconscious beliefs and habits dissolve and clarity of unity begins to unfold between two people. They think and feel alike. Creatively, they are able to dance with the universe playfully and bring forth inspirations from their hearts to enjoy and share with others. They have found a home in their hearts together and they sit on the steps of the universe and wonder what's next.
The power to create and enjoy a blissful relationship with life is based on this principle of devotion. A scattered or disturbed mind has little power to achieve. Two minds in mutual conflict live in hell, but two surrendered hearts achieve cooperation with life and the universe and are granted the privilege of co-creating a future that heals and allows two people to experience the fullest measure of their potentials together. Your intimacy together, blends with the intimacy of life.
You remember who and what you are together and you understand the mysteries of life effortlessly, because the mind is no longer in conflict with existence. You experience truth as an extension of your being and not a theory to be followed or idealized. There is nothing sweeter than to remember together and share these memories in a new awareness. Two have become ONE and oneness is the true nature of all existence.
Most people share their bodies in a relationship for sex only; some will share their minds and emotions, but few will surrender everything: sex, minds, and emotions, to the heart of each other and build trust, which leads to intimacy for cooperation in a purpose that can only manifest in devotion. To work with life and the universe, you have to achieve a devotion to each other and a devotion to the purpose of your partnership with the universe.
When unity is found at the core of apparent division, an explosion of purpose bursts forth and clarity is achieved to manifest a vision that is buried deep in the hearts of all lovers. The gift of shared love is that you are joined to the universe in a playful dance of possible outcomes. Nothing is set in stone, but as a couple, you are given the freedom to explore and learn the meaning of existence and your places in it forever.

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Love Can Help You Live Longer, True or False? Read, Digest and Respond.

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ing and love are intimate kins. Zing means a lively, zestful quality - zest, vigour, force and vitality. Just as the body needs food for its nourishment, so does the soul. It is the beautiful necessity of our nature to love someone. Sir W. Temple has said, "The greatest pleasure of life is love." This is a universal phenomenon.
There comes a time when the souls of human beings - women more than men - begin to fade if there is no love in their lives. Like flowers, they begin to wilt and then fade away. Love is to women what sunshine is to flowers.
The essence of love lies in giving, not taking. That is why Theodore Reiek observed that love is not a passion but an activity.
This is very well illustrated: watch women around you. Some even in their 70s look fresh, beautiful and radiant. They are the ones who give love and in the process, get heaps of it. This sunshine of the soul shows on their faces, in bodies and body language.
Conversely, look upon some young (in calendar years) women and watch; they look old, sagging in spirits and in feminine charms. They are premature fossils of womankind. Why? They have neither given nor got love. They are like sunflowers which never exposed themselves to sunlight!
Modern researchers have revealed that love prolongs life and adds many dimensions to happiness.
People have repeatedly claimed that there is something about "love" that makes the heart tick and the brain come alive. Essays have been written on love, and its effect on general health.
People who have someone to love and who are loved live longer and have happy lives. Love is given unsolicited, with no expectations. It is given generously, unselfishly. It cannot be bought. It takes the mind off our own selves and makes us concentrate on the beloved.
Does love help you live longer? The question however is: is it worth living longer if there is no love in life? There are many different kinds of love and all types of love are important in making life longer and happier. In situations where the emotional state of mind has a role to play in our physical well-being, love makes an impact because we have something to live for, whether our love is of a romantic nature, love for a child, love for a friend, or love for the family.
Love Force
It is love that enables us to pull through disease and sickness. Love helps us overcome odds that are against us. The absence of love can have us falling into a state of despair and giving up before we manage to put up a solid fight.
A life of life is filled with laughter. Laughter is the best medicine for many ills that we suffer from. Love can be medicinal in many situations because it is so closely associated with laughter and cheerfulness.
Love provides good health and long life. "Love does have restorative, preventive, and curative element to it. Love is a powerful antibiotic," says psychologist Dr James T. Lynch. Lack of love leads to loneliness through divorce, death and being single which carrying a risk of premature aging. Loss of love affects the heart. The loss of love can take years from life.
Divorcees are more likely to suffer from disease such as hypertension. People tend to divorce because they have an unhappy marriage and high levels of stress. Divorced men or women have double the heart diseases than married ones. Married couples live longer than those who are divorced, widowed or single. Those who are married and happy are less likely to have financial or psychosomatic problems compared to the single. Married people recover more quickly from diseases.
Good sex makes for longer life. Men who have satisfied sex in their marriages tend to have fewer chances of dying prematurely from cardiovascular diseases compared to those who do not have. Women, who do not enjoy their love life due to their partner’s neglect are more likely to suffer from heart attacks.
What the Optimists Do
The optimists tend to care more for their health. Moreover, the optimistic attitude to life has been associated with faster recovery from injuries and diseases. It is related to the increase of the bodyƊ¼s defence against diseases.
Love is, in all its manifestations, the noblest emotion. It is love and being loved that makes us stronger and live longer. Love makes the world go round. It is a sort of sense of belonging and security which provides a positive change in the quality and length of life.
A man reserves his love not for the woman who physically allures and electrifies him but for the one in whose company he feels tender and dreamy.
The greatest, unfailing test of love is: do you love yourself in the company of a person? If your answer is positive, you are deeply in love with the person whose company makes your heart tick!

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Finding True Love in Your 30s Improve Your Chances

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inding a soul mate when you're bursting with the audacity and spontaneity of youth happens, but it seldom happens to a good number of people. Often, dating in your 30s improve your chances of finding true love because lifelong romantic relationships seldom take off in the shaky grounds of youth. Individuals evolve, and not every couple - because of the phases they may be going through at the moment - can cope with changes over time. For singles that are in their 30s, dating at this age can very well be an opportune time on how to find the girl for you or how to find the guy for you. Here's why:
Numbers on how to find love at this age back up the claim. Statistics shows that people who found each other in their 30s or older have greater chances of building lasting relationships. This may have a lot to do with the level of maturity of people seeking romance at this point in their lives. People in their 30s have gained some perspective on how to find love that enables them to apply hard-won lessons from past mistakes to present circumstances.

Finding a soul mate who has relative emotional maturity (and financial stability) is more likely. People in their 30s are old enough to have accumulated substantial savings and bought properties, but still relatively young to pursue their maximum desires using maximum funds. In short, thirty-something people or older are more focused on cleaning up their psychological mess because they are (almost) done satisfying their basic material desires. How to find love best happens when two people are emotionally ready to be selfless when the relationship demands it.

People in their 30s start taking good care of their bodies and feeling better in the process. To make up for all the indiscretions of youth, people in their 30s exercise their way out of flabby arms and muffin tops, and sometimes, out of their emotional rut. With many thirty-something exercising their way into looking good and feeling food, dating at this age means you are likely to meet someone who is healthy in mind, body and spirit.
People in their 30s are better able to articulate what they want. How to find love is all about the ability to communicate. Communication in this case is not just listening and talking but using the pleasures and pains of past relationships as fodder for understanding the other person. Your past hurts put you in a better position to relate to the feelings of betrayal, loss of trust and loss of hope; hence, you become more careful not to inflict the same damage to the present relationship.
Enjoy the search and good luck!

Monday, December 26, 2011

Topics That Every Married Couple Must Always Discuss Frankly

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any married couples, as well as couples about to be married shortly, mostly do not discuss certain intimate subjects. Why should sex, finances, and child-rearing be taboo topics for discussion? They are subjects a lot of folks try to avoid. The fact is every married couple needs to talk about these things honestly and openly. Only then will they be able to strike a lasting bond between them. If expressing your views makes your partner care any less about you, then you have no business being married in the first place.
It's amazing how many people never discuss sex. Instead, they follow their spur-of-the-moment urges, and when sex is over, it's done until next time. They spend no time discussing what would make the two of them more comfortable, give them more pleasure, or make these intimate moments more memorable. This can lead to one or both partners feeling unsatisfied sexually which often leads to infidelity. You should be having regular conversations about sex with each other, including the time spent leading up to intercourse and the minutes after. All three of these time periods are critical to the utmost enjoyment of both partners.
Talking about your views on finances and spending is a good idea both before and after the wedding. If you are both too liberal in your spending, one of you is a penny pincher while the other is not, or if you have different ideas about what is important in life, you're headed for marital strife. Having separate bank accounts usually isn't the best idea. Instead, you need to work out your budget together and trust each other with the money you do have. Pooling your resources results in a stronger bond between you and teaches you both to compromise.
Before you ever get married, talk about having children. If one partner wants them and the other doesn't, you need to work the problem out ahead of time. Learn how your partner feels about raising children, his or her philosophy on discipline, and whether or not your future spouse is going to be willing to partner with you in the child-raising process. If one of you says no, your spouse needs to back you up instead of siding with the child. Once you're married and have children, make it a point to never argue in front of them. Postpone your discussion until you have a chance to be alone so that you can always present a united front to your kids.
Dealing with these issues head-on is going to make your marriage journey much easier in the long run. Knowing where each other stands as far as sex, money, and children are concerned will save you a lot of arguments down the road.

Sunday, December 25, 2011

How to Have a Thriving Relationship

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Life is full of changes. We move through our lives with hopes and desires. Yet, we often find ourselves unhappy, stressed and with a sense of feeling hopeless and undesirable. Wouldn't it be an amazing and a wondrous experience to live life feeling healthy and sexy? Instead of having that, many of us continue to wonder just how we are supposed to maintain positive attitudes and thrive in all of our relationships. We may not even be aware that positive thoughts are a golden key to thriving - physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, sexually, and even financially.
Even when we are aware, this beautiful space that we encounter, occasionally, seems to evaporate as old patterns begin to reinvade our blissful state. Have you had this happen? You are filled with joy and excitement about life and about your partner. Then, suddenly the discord, the monotony, the "ho hum", the trials and tribulations start showing up. You feel that just once you would really like to be in a relationship that fills you up instead of tearing you down. You want to just enjoy the relationship instead of having to work so hard to keep it strong and healthy.
This is understandable, but life is not a bowl of cherries. It is about love, but it is about growth - personal growth, spiritual growth. We cannot grow and expand if we do not experience any "growing pains." Only we can judge when the pain is too much. No one else can tell us when it is time to walk away. No one else can tell us when we must stay either. At the same time, there are a number of things we can change. Now is this about changing your partner? No! We cannot change others unless they want to change, but we can change ourselves. When we do this we will uncover the joy and happiness within ourselves and not rely on anyone else to create this for us. Our change will affect us individually and it will also have a tremendous impact on those around us.
So, what are some key things you can do to change or do differently that will help you develop and then stay in a healthy, positive, sexy and thriving relationship?
1. Have love and compassion for YOU! Imagine a time in your life when you were a child and experienced something that upset you. Now, imagine your adult self wrapping your arms around your child self. In your imagination, offer gentleness, an outpouring of love, and have deep compassion for your child self. Tell this part of you that everything is going to be all right - that she is loved. When you learn to do this for your inner child you can shift it and offer this same love and compassion for yourself as an adult today. This is not about being selfish. This is about loving and respecting yourself. The more you can love and have compassion for yourself, the more you will be able to do so for others.
2. Be present with your partner and others. When you are with your partner really be with him/her. Pay real attention to what he/she has to say. Practice deep listening. Do not interrupt, change the subject or avoid conversation. Hear what he/she has to say. Put away the cell phone, turn off the television, shut off your computer and focus your attention on your partner. Show your partner that they are truly important to you.
3. Change the words you use. Pay close attention to the words you choose to use. Do you use negative words? Do you call yourself or others "stupid" or "fat" or even "foolish? These are hurtful words to others and us. Even when we use them in a joking tone, they carry negative energy. The energy we send out is what we are going to get in return. Do you want more stupid, fat, and foolish people around you? You can change your words. Try saying, "I do not feel as thin as I prefer to be in these clothes, and “instead of” These freaking pants are too tight on my fat butt!"
4. Let go of the need to be right. This one can be challenging, but it is well worth all of the effort you may need to put into it. When you are discussing something with your partner and you do not agree with them, what do you typically do? It is more common not that we want to correct him/her, say he/she is wrong, and tell this person what we think is right. But, if you can stop and take some time to simply see it from the other person's perspective; you may just be amazed at what will happen. For one thing, you are showing your partner or whoever that you value his/her perspective. And, it is possible that you might just shift your view a bit. If you don't change your mind, that is okay - just be willing to respect and appreciate the differences between you and your partner.
5. Eat healthier. This may seem obvious, but sometimes we forget. Certain foods can make us feel heavy and bloated, or on the opposite end, some foods leave us feeling hungry and unfulfilled. Everyone's bodies are different. You can read up on various ways to have a healthier diet. Eating healthy can have a tremendous impact on your physical and mental health as well as your emotional health.
6. Exercise regularly. Yep. It is true. We need to be active. Our bodies are designed to move. They are not made to sit in front of a computer all day or become couch potatoes. It is important for all of us to be active in one way or another. This keeps the body younger, maintains higher metabolism and it keeps the mind younger too. Going through life in a body that is in shape also helps us feel sexier and more confident.
7. Mix-up your sex life. Making changes in your sex life with your partner can deepen the bond between the two of you and enhance your emotional as well as your physical intimacy. Trying new things, learning what each other's desires are, and honouring one other through physical communication can have a profound impact. You can also discover the sacredness in your relationship - emotionally, physically, and spiritually - with the beautiful and fun filled exercises, experiences and Intimate Adventures.