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Friday, January 27, 2012

Learn the Real Reasons Why They Fear It So Much

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hings are just great between us, why do we need to take it to another level?"
"I love you anyway, isn't that enough?"
"We're so comfortable this way; I just don't want to ruin it."
These are just some of the so-called excuses men use to avoid the topic of commitment. But why are they so scared of it? Why do they always try to avoid the so called serious talk? The main and the most key reason why men tend to avoid talking about this subject is because, they fear change. They are too comfortable with the way things are presently and don't want to ruin it. And men are at a great advantage when they don't have to commit. They can have a sense of freedom and at the same time enjoy the security of being with a partner. In other words, they have the comfort of having a partner without the need to have some responsibilities which go along with it. It's a very comfortable position to be in and most men don't want to step out of this comfort zone.
The second major reason why so many men fear commitment is because they know that with commitment they would have additional responsibility to maintain a family which is usually not easy to do. They also fear that they would have to be the main provider for the family and might not enjoy the freedom they would otherwise enjoy if they were single or just in a relationship. In all honesty, you won't be able to make him commit unless he feels an internal urge to do so himself. In the mean time, trying to force the topic of commitment on him will only make matters worse for both of you. The best thing you can do under this circumstance is to first decide exactly what you want and what you are willing to lose in order to get it.
In other words, if you want someone to commit to you and aren't okay with being casual then you would have to find someone who is ready for commitment. If you plan to stick around your present guy with the hopes that he might commit to you some day then you are taking a big risk which might or might not turn out in your favour. And at the same time you will always have this sense of worry and fear in your relationship as you will never be sure if he will eventually decide to commit to you or not.
Therefore, the smart thing to do would be to let your man know that you do not expect anything less than complete commitment and if he isn't prepared to offer you that then you will have to find someone who is ready to do it. You only get to live once, the life you currently have isn't a dress rehearsal for another life. The time which has passed will not come back therefore there is no point in wasting your life worrying about someone who is not ready yet to make up their mind about you.

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