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Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Leave Your Baggage Behind

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aggage - we've all heard the term used in conversation at one time or another. No, we're not talking about the type of baggage you carry for a holiday to Zanzibar. Unfortunately, this baggage doesn't come with a great a margarita, but instead, memories of past relationships and emotional scars from love lost. The good news is- everyone has it. At one time or another, we've all been dumped or put through an emotional whirlwind when it comes to our love lives. The trick is to learn how to use baggage in a healthy way by acknowledging the past, learning from it and moving on. When we are open and receptive to a healthy, meaningful, lasting love in the present, baggage from the past can no longer weigh us down.
Keep it Positive
Less than stellar relationships of the past can sometimes make it difficult to maintain positive, healthy belief systems. But to attract the relationships you want, you need to present the best version of you. Think about this- when someone is negative, what kind of energy are they sending? Is it fun and flirty? Do they attract you and motivate you to want to spend time with them? Not at all.
It's true, bad relationships make it easy to fall into the negativity trap. "I'm no good at relationships", "all men only want one thing" or "women only want you for your money". These are the types of negative belief systems that will hold you back from finding that someone special- every time. Remember, we attract what we focus on. Make certain to empower yourself with a healthy view of dating and the opposite sex and start to attract this into your life.
Leave the Past Where it belongs- in the Past
Okay, that past relationship really did a number on you and you're finding it a challenge not to analyze and re-analyze every inch of what you did or didn't do. Don't let the relationships of the past hold you back from the relationship of the future. The past does not equal the future and it never will.
If you're spending too much time focusing on what didn't work in your past relationship, you are more likely to get similar results in your future relationship. It goes back to the saying "what you focus on is what you get". There's a reason why professional athletes, musicians and even business executives are told to focus on the goal (and not the mistake!), because it increases their chances of achieving it.
The Positives of Baggage
Believe it or not, baggage serves a useful purpose. It gives us the experience, skills, knowledge and tools we need to find the last relationship we'll ever have. Like an actor on an audition, we need to learn from the past, refine our technique, understand ourselves completely and present this new and improved person to the world. With every past relationship, you're closer to the one that makes your heart sing. Use your baggage as a reference point to know and understand what you do and don't want from a relationship and then file it away.
No one can be expected to master the art of love without a few trip-ups along the way. From broken hearts and shattered dreams we build new visions of ourselves. Keep a positive mindset through the process and attract the positive meaningful, relationship you're ready for. Remember to keep the past in the past and don't dwell on what you could have or should have done in previous situations. There's a reason why baggage exists. Use it for learning and growing and then close the door from the past making room for new doors of opportunity to swing in your direction.

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