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Monday, March 12, 2012

Save Your Marriage

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s your marriage heading down the wrong path and if you don't see some changes you fear that you might not be able to save your marriage? Marriage problems are common but why do some couples overcome them while others get crushed emotionally and spiritually and end up divorced?
In my humble opinion there are two basic reasons why some couples fail to overcome their marital issues. First, they quite honestly don't know how to resolve their differences. The second reason is because one or both of the individuals are selfish and unwilling to put aside their desires for the good of the marriage.
I don't know if you received training before you got married. Couples often struggled just to keep a little joy, peace, patience, kindness and love in the house. Below are some tips that I hope you find useful to get you through this difficult period.
Tips That Can Save Your Marriage
1. Forgive - You have to become a real forgiving spouse and not a pretend to forgive your spouse. By this I mean that you need to make sure when you say you have forgiven, that your actions back up your words. If you agree to forgive your partner, you no longer bring up the issue or hold it over your spouse’s head.
2. Patience - If you want to really save your marriage I suggest that you begin to show some patience with your spouse and not react to every little thing. The best thing that you can do is take some time before you respond.
3. Goodness - If you want to keep your marriage together then you need to be good to your spouse, despite how you feel. Make sure you aren't led by your feelings but rather continue to do what is right and not just what feels right.
4. Guard Your Tongue - Not much advice here except that you must remember that your words have the power to build up your marriage or tear it down.
5. Learn How To Apologize - We all make mistakes and find ourselves in the position of having to apologize. A sincere apology is one where you actually know and say why you are sorry. Never apologize before you have given thought to what you did wrong and why you are apologizing. Don't patronize your spouse and just say that you are sorry to make things better. Apologise when you are wrong and back it up with actions that you are really sorry.
6. Compromise - If you want to make your marriage work then it's important that you try to meet your spouse halfway and keep an open mind and be flexible.
7. Self Control - Dealing with a frustrating marriage situation can cause you to lose it at times and instead of taking steps forward you end of hurting your marriage. Instead of blowing up take a step back and deal with matters when you are in control.
8. Stay Intimate - Ah, one of the most important but also more complicated matters of saving your marriage. Just because you are having marriage problems, it doesn't give you a permission slip to no longer be intimate with your spouse. If you don't keep at least a little spark the fire will burn out and it leaves you both vulnerable to the affections of others.
9. Love Unconditionally - I know this is easier said than done but that is what love is. Please make it up in your mind that you will love your spouse, despite what is going on. It doesn't mean that you approve of how you are being treated or feel but rather, you make up in your mind that your love will not be predicated on your spouse's actions.
So how can you save your marriage when you are more interested than your spouse in fixing your marriage? Well, it's not easy but it is possible. Think of it this way. If you implement some or all of the tips noted above, I can't imagine that your chances of saving or improving your marriage won't improve.
I hope this has given you some help and hope for turning your marriage around. It breaks my heart to see couples hurting and fighting against each other instead of working together to build a loving relationship. Hang in there and fight for the marriage you so desire.

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