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Friday, March 23, 2012

These Simple Tips Can Improve Your Marriage

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re you tired of being married but lonely and want to improve your marriage? If you aren't careful your marriage can slide quickly from so-so to over. Please don't think that I'm trying to scare you some folks getting married, end up divorced. So it's obviously to your advantage to fix your marriage now and avoid the painful divorce process.
So what are your top three marriage issues that you would like to see disappear? Is it the lack of communication, lack of trust, lack of intimacy, lack of finances, lack of time or lack of agreement on raising your children? I hope you didn't nod your head yes to all of these, although it wouldn't surprise me if you did.
Marriage was never meant to be this hard, right? Just a short while ago you couldn't stop talking and holding hands and kissing. Time and intimacy wasn't an issue because your relationship was the top priority. Leaving work early was a must and the weekends were dedicated to spending time together. So what happened?
Well, what most couples say is that as life unfolded and reality set in what seemed to be perfect started to slowly show its defects. There is always a question of whether one or both spouses changed and that becomes the recurring theme in arguments or heated conversations. It goes one or two ways, "you have changed" or "you need to change".
It is clear that marriage takes work. It's a pretty simple concept but one that many married individuals overlook. I would also say that many individuals think that they are working on their marriage and trying to improve it. The problem is that because of the fractured relationship there is little trust, communication and intimacy. It is hard to fix a marriage when the husband and wife can barely tolerate one another.
My goodness, you might have a hard time being in the same room. Have you ever thought, "What if my spouse disappeared" Come on be honest. I'm not talking about anything bad happening. Just a thought of, "I wonder how life would have been had we not married"? Well, it's a normal train of thought when you are frustrated, resentful and desire some improvement in your marriage. This kind of thinking becomes harmful because you can start to prepare yourself emotionally and mentally to be separated from your spouse.
Instead of envisioning separation why not replace those images and thoughts with more positive ones, i.e., your marriage being healed and improved? Get rid of the negative thinking and your attitude toward your spouse will be better. With a better attitude you will have more peace and then guess what? You will have more joy and an improved marriage.
2 Simple Tips To Improve Your Marriage
The first tip if you want to improve your marriage is that you must be willing to give of yourself unconditionally. I know what you are thinking and it's bordering on the negative side. Remember, positive thoughts will result in positive actions.
What I'm suggesting is that you make positive changes to improve your marriage and don't base them on conditions that your spouse must do something in return. If you can do this your motives will be pure, and in time, your spouse will appreciate that you are giving out of love and unselfishness.
The second tip that I would recommend is that you make your marriage improvement a top priority. What this means is that you spend more time working at your marriage than you do watching cable TV shows. If you are spending no time together now, how can you ever improve your marriage? It's not like a cold that comes and goes. It's like pneumonia, if left untreated it can make you miserable and might even kill you.
A good place to start is making a conscious effort to think about each day and consider the following; what do I have planned today to help my marriage get better? If you keep coming up with nothing then you aren't doing enough to fix your marriage. If you try hard enough your words and your actions can be used to help build up your marriage or tear apart your marriage. The choice is yours

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