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Saturday, June 16, 2012

How You Can Move on After a Painful Relationship

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Life after an abusive relationship can be a time of growth and learning with the skilled help of a coach. A coach who understands what happens when a woman has experienced the fear and trauma of living in a painful relationship. Most people assume that when a woman has left the relationship then life can get back to normal and the advice given of 'Just put it behind you' can seem so empty and really of no help whatsoever.
Women experience memories, flashbacks, anxiety, emotional outbursts, lack of emotions, unwarranted fear, low self esteem, lack of confidence and a fear and dis-trust which stops them from allowing love back into their life. This can be a lonely and painful existence. It can create all sorts of problems and issues which are unseen to the outside world. Many women try counselling which does offer relief in the short term but talking about a problem over and over again does actually anchor in the emotion and trauma causing the 'problem' to feel as if it's getting bigger and bigger.
The secret to living a full life after abuse of any kind is to release the emotion. It does not need to be talked about, worked through or dealt with. All emotion is held in the unconscious mine which runs patterns, behaviours, beliefs, ideas and strategies. One indicator of this is that many women find themselves testing new partners. They want to know if their new partner will hurt them. This is common yet not fully understood. If a woman is asked why she has displayed a specific behaviour she will probably not know. She will know why but not understand her behaviour.
An experience of an abusive relationship can leave a woman feeling worthless. She wonders how she could have allowed the situation to occur or let it go on for so long. The important thing in healing and creating a loving relationship is the release of the emotions and beliefs about herself. The ability to love herself and participate fully in self care is vital to the creation of a new loving relationship with a new partner. With skillful counselling that offers transformation, therapeutic intervention, support and guidance anything is possible.
There is a life after a painful relationship. The recovery and healing can at times be challenging, it can be exciting but the most important thing is the transformation. 

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