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Friday, June 1, 2012

You Cannot Heal From a Failed Relationship Unless You Become Aware

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If you have a number of failed relationships behind you, it is very likely that you feel wounded, depressed, despaired and lonely. In order to become empowered to develop a healthy and satisfying relationship you first need to heal these wounds. This is possible when you become aware of what it is that makes you fail in the first place.

If you are single and on the dating scene for many years, gotten hurt time and again, you need to heal your wounds before finding and developing a satisfying new relationship. If, on the other hand, you have had a long-term relationship and decided to separate at this point in your life and you wish to begin a new relationship, you might not know how to heal the separation and feel truly "available" for a new intimacy.

The importance of Self-Awareness
Whichever your personal situation is, you might wonder what it will take for you to heal, become empowered and able to develop and maintain a successful intimacy.

This is where Self-Awareness becomes vital and can play a crucial role in your ability to heal and move forward: It is very likely that you - like many others - have failed in your relationships for a number of reasons. Yet, one reason which often plays an enormous part in failed relationships and nonetheless doesn't receive its due attention is the following:

You might not know yourself well enough: you might not be aware of a host of factors, such as needs, fears, unrealistic expectations, messages you internalized at young age from the home and the environment in which you grew up, your belief-system and perception of reality, which exert power over you and control your attitudes and behaviours. Any one of these factors - or a combination of some - might hinder you from developing and maintaining a successful intimacy.

What does becoming aware mean?
Becoming aware means:
* Getting to know and understand yourself better;
* Realizing traits, feelings, attitudes and behaviours you denied and rejected until now, refusing to acknowledge and accept them as part of you;
* It means becoming conscious of the factors which exert power over you and drive you to sabotage your relationship.

As long as you are not aware of the power and damage these factors bring upon you, you will continue walking around wounded, feeling incessantly frustrated, disappointed, disillusioned, angry, desperate and unhappy, without knowing what you should do in order to heal yourself and move forward towards developing a satisfying and healthy relationship.

Awareness and healing are two complementary processes
Awareness and healing are two complementary processes. Through them you get up the courage to be true to yourself; authentic and genuine; connected to your will; acknowledge and accept traits and behaviours you might have denied and rejected within you.

The more you become aware and the more you heal, the more you will strive to increase your awareness and to heal yourself even further. This complementary relationship between awareness and healing will enable you to move forward to developing a successful and healthy intimacy.

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