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Monday, June 25, 2012

You May be Sabotaging Your Relationships

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As long as you are not aware of the ways in which you might be sabotaging your relationship, you might fail to develop a successful intimacy time and again. But without knowing what you do which harms your attempts at relationship, you will not know what and how to change. Developing Self-Awareness will enable you to understand what in your attitudes, reactions and behaviours harms your relationship. You will then know what you need to do in order to develop and maintain a successful intimacy.

The following examples show how Jane's un-awareness leads her to sabotage her relationship:

Jane has not had a long-term relationship for years, something that continues to stun her. It's true: there was a time when she didn't want a relationship and sought brief encounters just for fun. She was too busy pursuing her career to take relationship too seriously. But she always thought that when she would really want, she wouldn't have any problem finding one.

So what's happening now, when she really does want a relationship? How come she can't manage to find one, and gets disappointed time after time?

The price Jane pays for being unaware
Jane's lack of self-awareness makes it impossible for her to see and identify what is preventing her from developing a true and lasting relationship. The only thing that she knows is that she does want such a relationship. But damn! What stands in her way?

When Jane begins to look inwards, attempting to find answers, she realizes that she has been driven by a belief system that having a relationship will damage her professional career. This belief system has driven her to develop a fear of commitment.

With this understanding Jane is now able to find the balance between having a profession coupled with a long-term relationship while keeping her independence. She now feels comfortable about looking for a partner with whom to develop a long-term relationship.

Self-Awareness is vital to your ability to develop and maintain a successful relationship
If you find yourself in a similar situation to Jane's - not understanding what stands in your way from developing a successful intimacy - the best route you can take is to develop your awareness: get to understand what it is that stands in your way; get to realize how you sabotage your attempts at relationships; get to realize the ways in which you might have shot yourself in the foot.

Although it takes courage to look inwards, to figure out what you do which harms your attempts, that's the only way to stop failing in your relationship and move forward to developing a satisfying intimacy.

What you can gain by developing your awareness
You might hesitate to develop your awareness, fearing that time is short and you better spend it on finding a partner and entering a relationship. But if you have failed over and over again, it is better to take the time to understand, once and for all, how you shoot yourself in the foot until now. You will then become able to make the necessary changes leading to a satisfying intimacy.

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