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Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Overcoming Communication Problems

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Communication problems in marriage are so common that no matter how great you and your spouse get along, you're bound to run into some miscommunication somewhere along the line. The good news is, with the right approach, these problems usually aren't too hard to solve.

Listen thoughtfully
Don't forget that you are one half of the communication problem. When you've been married for some time, you might start to think you know what your spouse is going to say. Unless you have ESP, though, you'll get a lot farther by actually hearing your spouse out. When sweetie tells you something, restate what they said to make sure you understood correctly and let them know you heard.

Bridge the gender divide
Men and women approach marriage in distinctly different ways. Without an open mind, it's all too easy to write the opposite gender off as "illogical" or even start thinking of their differences as childish or petty. The fact is neither gender is perfectly logical. Taking some time to learn about exactly how the opposite gender looks at love matters can help you avoid a lot of problems in marriage.

Stick to the facts
When trying to talk over problems in marriage, don't bring up something you can't prove. Instead, stay with what cannot be argued like your own feelings and what your spouse already agrees they do.

Be frank, but loving
You are not doing anyone any favours by taking a "put up and shut up" attitude to problems in marriage. All you end up doing is allowing wounds to fester and they can eventually reach the point where they'll never heal at all. Instead, speak your mind when you have a problem, but do so with gentleness, kindness, and respect. Remember, your spouse probably isn't trying to hurt or annoy you and may be pretty upset to hear you're unhappy.

Release the need for blame
When one of you has a problem, the marriage has a problem and it's in both your best interests to work it out peacefully. Instead of going around in circles trying to decide whose fault it is, focus on how you're going to solve it. Likewise, try to avoid blaming your spouse for your overall mood. Sweeping statement like "You make me miserable." is taking it too far.

Be a friend, not a coach
Chances are your spouse is not married to you because they're hoping you can correct all their bad habits and personality flaws. You are not their parent, teacher, coach, or boss. You're their friend and lover. You may think you're giving constructive criticism, but your spouse might think your love or respect for them has diminished because of this one little flaw they have. Instead of criticizing, encourage improvement by giving your spouse some positive feedback when they do something you really like.

There, that doesn't sound too hard, does it? These techniques may be simple, but can really work to solve communication problems in marriage.

Feel free to comment, give me your opinions and discuss the mentioned issue as extensively as you wish

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