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Sunday, August 5, 2012

Use Communication to Build Intimacy

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1. Communicate daily. Communicating daily ensure you are in tune to your partner’s latest interests, ideas, thoughts, and emotions which give greater opportunity for connection and intimacy.

2. Learn to listen. By listening, you are able to summarize what your partner said and how they feel in about two sentences when they have completely stopped speaking.

3. Check in. Randomly inquiry about your partner. Showing interest in unexpected way, shows you care, and are curious, and want to be included in your partner's daily life whether mundane or not.

4. Express emotions.

5. Don't blame. Take a moment to declare what your role may have been in the situation. No matter the situation, everyone involved played a part. Taking responsibility for your function creates an atmosphere for safety and expression.

6. Share. Get to know your partner by asking questions, being curious, and revealing childhood experiences, sharing pictures, memories, and stories. Sharing small bits of you ensures safety and trust over time.

7. Never go to bed angry. Clear up the argument before hitting the sheets. Come to a compromise or determine a time and place to reconvene the discussion. Make-up sex just may be the perfect way to move past an argument.

8. Be Specific. Discuss one topic at a time and don't move on to the next until the first issue is resolved.

9. Remind. Tell your partner why you fell in love with them in small, meaningful ways. Randomly describe specific things you love about them.

10. Show appreciation. Share specific things that you appreciate in your partner, i.e. who they are, and what they do. Again be specific in sharing your appreciation. "I appreciate it when you... "
11. No Yelling. The louder you yell, the less the other person listens to you! Speak in a warm and loving tone calmly and respectfully and more likely your partner will listen.

12. Use eye contact. Think how it feels to be spoken to while someone is looking at you versus looking at the newspaper.

Feel free to comment, give me your opinions and discuss the mentioned issue as extensively as you wish

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