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Saturday, September 8, 2012

After a Breakup, What next?

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Getting yourself moving again after a break can be especially hard. For some the pain can be almost paralyzing. It sticks in your gut and leaves you feeling literally sick. You have no appetite, you can't sleep, and you do a lot of crying. For some, they just want to stay in bed, pull the covers over their head and never come out again. They hide in their house for weeks on end, sometimes months.

But, sooner or later we have to face the world. The longer we sit around moping and feeling sorry for ourselves the harder it is to get moving. A bad breakup, especially one we didn't want, can literally sap our energy, cause self-doubt, insecurity, fear, and drains our self-esteem. These feelings, if left unchecked, can ruin any future chances for a healthy relationship.

The following 5 tips will help you make the changes necessary to let go of the past and move on to bigger and better things:

1. First and foremost this is an excellent time to reach out to family and friends. Let them help you through this difficult time. None of us needs to be alone during a time like this. Try to stay as close to them as possible. They have a bigger impact on our happiness than we might think.

2. Come to terms with and accept the situation. If you haven't yet admitted to yourself that it's over, you're only fooling yourself. The sooner you do this step, the sooner you can begin healing. This is the only way you can move on with your life. If you continue to cling to the past you'll continue to remain stuck. You have a lot of life to look forward too. You'll never meet the "right" one if you are stuck in the past.

3. Keep yourself as busy as you possibly can. This is an excellent time to try new things, or do the things you've been putting off. Try a new hobby. Try putting your energy in positive activities.

4. Just get moving. Go for a short walk. Go to the park. Maybe even join a gym. Exercise is so important for a number of reasons. It gets those endorphin's flowing, makes you feel better physically and mentally, and just plain makes you feel good about yourself.
5. Have a relationship with yourself. So many of us don't like to look at ourselves for fear of what we might find. But, it is so important to get to know and love ourselves. If we can't love ourselves how can we expect someone else to love us? All of us have things we'd like to change about ourselves. This is the perfect time to ask yourself: How do I really feel about myself? Do I have the very traits I want in a partner?

Breakups are painful, yes! But they are not the end of the world. I would venture to guess that the person who left you probably did not set out to deliberately hurt you. They were more than likely just trying to find their own happiness. Perhaps this is the time to take a deep breath and realize that this is not about you and it's time to relinquish control. Acknowledge your worth and know that someday you will find the unconditional love that you deserve.
Feel free to comment, give me your opinions and discuss the mentioned issue as extensively as you wish

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