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Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Games You Shouldn't Play

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When we meet someone we are interested in being with, we are not certain if they want us as well. We can only assume that they do by paying attention to their actions and listening to what they have to tell us. But, what do we do when our partner says one thing and does another. Along with trusting your intuition, you must be aware of the ways people deceive others when they are unable to ask for or don't deserve what they want from you.

Hard to Get
In order to play this game, someone must be pursuing a very attractive person who seems to be everything they want and need. However, they withhold sex, love, and affection until a later date---provided the pursuer plays their cards right. The pursuer does everything they can to capture this elusive individual. The problem with the hard-to-getter is they are often not who they claim to be. Underneath the surface is usually a hurt, frightened, and lonely person desperate for love. And, the pursuer doesn't want to admit they are not getting anything in return for their hard effort at winning them over. Another problem with playing hard-to-get is that it can often back fire. Just as the hard-to-getter begins to develop feelings for the pursuer, they may have grown tired of chasing them and found someone else who is willing and able to give them what they want and need. The pursuer also may become angry and seek to get revenge by sticking around long enough for the hard-to-getter to fall for them and then begin "breaking them down"---putting them in the vulnerable position. Or they may allow them to get comfortable by giving them everything they want and walk away right after they have had sex together.

All or Nothing
When playing this game, the man involved may appear to be a dream come true. He is attractive, funny, intelligent, good in bed, and employed. And, he wants to get married and take care of his woman. But, right now he has some issues to deal with. The woman is desperate to believe that he is who he says he is and ignores the fact that this man always seems to disappear when things get rough. However, he manages to come back just as things begin to get better. But, just so happens, he has gotten himself caught up in another bad predicament. For example, he has gotten laid off from his job or his ex-wife is causing him too many problems for him to be completely available. He needs you right now is what he tells his victim. The problem is she still needs financial and emotional support. He is so grateful that the woman is there for him that he brags to everyone about how wonderful she is--- thus playing on her need to feel needed. So much in fact that she ends up doing everything by herself. Just so happens, when he is in a position to help out, he is angry about something that has transpired in the relationship. But, he finds his way back once he is broke. This woman doesn't want to admit that this man doesn't care about her and is only around to use her for what she has. When she demands that he reciprocate, he will only claim that she hasn't done anything for him. He becomes angry and uses this as an excuse not to do anything for her. This man only caters to himself and is willing to do anything he can to avoid doing anything for anyone else.

The Fall Out
This man has dumped his girlfriend claiming she is no longer able to give him what he wants and needs. She allows him to convince her that she pushed him into the arms of another woman who is doing a better job of keeping him. However, he doesn't mind being friends. She agrees to the friendship, but her intentions are to get him back. Meanwhile, he allows his new girlfriend to believe that he is committed to the relationship they share. This is until later on when she finds out he is still messing around with his ex. When she begins to put her foot down, he has come up with an excuse to continue the affair. They have been arguing and fighting and unable to get along with each other. And it is her fault is what he is telling her. The new woman then begins to work hard to keep him from going back to his ex girlfriend. However, it is too late for them to re-establish the close bond they supposedly once shared. No one is willing to walk away. Instead, they blame each other for their inability to have him. They ignore his womanizing ways to hurt and disrespect each other. And meanwhile, he gets away with not contributing. Their plan is to cause each other too much heartache and pain for the other one to stick around since the man is having so much trouble letting either one of them go. They continue---even when they notice he has been with someone new. To lose him, in their eyes would mean failure and prove they are unworthy of love. However, the real issue is that the man doesn't really want either of them and will do anything to avoid commitment.

Feel free to comment, give me your opinions and discuss the mentioned issue as extensively as you wish

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