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Saturday, September 1, 2012

Vast Social Media Can’t Still Help Matters-WHY?

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Dating at times is too difficult for many. In spite of being "connected" with many people via social networks, many singles still find it an almost impossible task to find their loved ones, develop and maintain a satisfying intimate relationship. It is as if meeting "the right person" stays only a dream.

Many singles resort to hiring personal coaches, advisors or dating experts with the task of matching them with the "right" person, convincing themselves that they are just too busy to look, search and find.

But is it really so? Is it really a shortage of time that inhibits them from finding the right person? Or could it be that even when they meet a potential partner many singles just don't know how to develop a healthy and successful relationship? Could it be that they are unaware of the many ways in which they sabotage their attempts at intimacy?

Singles shooting themselves in the foot
Time and again I see singles who, without even knowing it, shoot themselves in the foot in relationships. Being unaware of doing so, they don't know what they need to change in order to succeed next time around. Consequently, it makes no difference on how many dates they go and how many relationships they attempt to develop: they fail over and over again, for the simple reason that they just never take the time to understand what they do which harms their attempts.

They therefore resort to finding one and thousand excuses to justify their failures, not the least is: shortage of time. Resorting to dating services is one way to not take responsibility for their failed attempts. "Let someone else do the job", they tell themselves, "Then it will not be my sole responsibility for yet another failed attempts."

Self-Awareness: The Road not Taken
Taking responsibility for your success or failure at relationships is a key to making a significant change leading to success. It is only when you take responsibility and become truly motivated to understand, once and for all, what hinders your attempts that you embark on the road to success.

Taking responsibility means: you decide, once and for all, to become aware of a host of factors which drive you to fail in your relationships. Could it be your attitudes towards the other sex? Could these be your fears and needs which drive you to behave in self-sabotaging ways? Could these be messages you internalized at a young age about how relationships "should" look like - messages which now, as an adult, come back to haunt you? Could these be unrealistic expectations and fantasies about partners and relationships which drive you to expect the impossible (and blame your partners time and again)? Could this be your perception of reality, being convinced that "your way" of thinking, feeling and doing things is always "the right way", and your partner's "the wrong way"?

It is when you ask yourself these - and other - questions; when you look inwards and observe yourself; and when you develop your Self-Awareness, that you can finally de-activate the power these factors have exerted upon you, and free yourself to re-think the way you approach a partner and relationship.

Self-Awareness might be the only road you haven't taken so far in your attempts to find a partner with whom to develop a successful intimacy. Paradoxically enough, this can be the only road which can take your there.
I hope you enjoyed reading, your thoughts and views are welcome. Let’s talk about love

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