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Tuesday, September 18, 2012

What is Your Communication Style Like? It Might Turn Him Off

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Everyone has their own way of communicating with others and it influences the way folks respond to us. You'll have to understand the various communication styles if you want to get your man's attention. There are 4 styles of communication; three of them will turn a man off and the other one is a turn on.

The 4 styles of communication are as follows:
In this style individuals tend to avoid expressing their opinions or feelings. Passive communication is usually born of low self-esteem.

Passive individuals won't respond overtly to hurtful or distressing predicaments. In contrast, they will permit all of the grievances and annoyances to build until they reach their threshold for poor behaviour. As a result, they are inclined to fierce outbursts.
Passive communicators will often:
*demonstrate poor eye contact and poor posture
*are likely to speak softly or apologetically
*don't assert themselves
*do not verbalize their opinions, needs or feelings
*allow others to infringe on their rights, whether it be deliberately or inadvertently

Aggressive communication is a style in which individuals will state their opinions and feelings and promote their needs in a way that could possibly impose on the rights of others. Therefore, aggressive communicators are physically and/or verbally abusive.

Aggressive communicators will often:
*exhibit piercing eye contact and a dominating posture
*speak in a loud and demanding voice
*aspire to overpower, attack, blame or criticize others
*not pay close attention and interrupt repeatedly
*exploit humiliation to manipulate others

Passive-Aggressive communication is where people appear passive on the outside while acting out anger in a subtle, indirect way on the inside.

Those who develop passive-aggressive communication tendencies usually feel resentful and incapable of responding to the object of their resentments directly.

Passive-Aggressive communicators will often:
* display facial expressions that do not correspond with their feelings, like smiling when angry
* reject the idea of any problem
* mumble to themselves as opposed to confronting the person or issue
* have a hard time recognizing their anger
* employ sarcasm and sneaky sabotage to get even

When individuals use assertive communication, they convey their opinions and feelings plainly and firmly, while indicating their opinions and needs without violating the rights of others.

Of the four styles of communication, assertive is always the sexiest to a guy on account of he always knows where he stands with you. He respects you because you can get your position across calmly and firmly so there's never any confusion.

As opposed to passive communication, where he can't figure out what you want because you won't say. Or aggressive communication, where you yell and try to intimidate him and passive - aggressive communication, where you say one thing but mean something else altogether.
Assertive communicators will:
* demonstrate good eye contact and relaxed body posture
* stand up for their rights and not allow anyone to mistreat or manipulate them
* describe their wants and needs clearly and respectfully
* speak in a relaxed and uncomplicated tone of voice
* listen well without interrupting.

Being assertive is the art of standing up for yourself in a diplomatic style.

Here's the gist of it, if your guy has plans to spend yet another Friday night on a club house as opposed to doing something with you, your normal reaction may be to yell and hang up on him or stampede out of the room.

Well, the next time this kind of scenario pops up, calmly point out: "I was hoping to spend this Friday night together". "What do you think? Could you make some time to go to a movie Friday night? Your guy will be more accommodating to a compromise-or perhaps even determine that he can skip clubbing this Friday night, when you present your case in a reasonable manner.
Feel free to comment, give me your opinions and discuss the mentioned issue as extensively as you wish

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