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Wednesday, September 5, 2012

When He Doesn't Talk to You

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Women generally talk more than men for some biological reason and so a man who says little can be a source of frustration to a woman. You wonder 'why won't he talk to me?' When he doesn't talk to you then you don't know what to do... you wonder 'who is he sharing himself?' or... 'What’s wrong with you that make him unable to talk to me?' So what can you do to make him talk to you?

i. Listen actively. To make him talk to you then you must learn to listen in such a way that he knows you are paying attention.
Stop doing activities. Yes, you are a woman and multitasking comes naturally to you BUT if you want him to talk to you then you must encourage him to talk by giving him ALL your attention. Forget the kids, the TV and the internet... and focus on him for a while.

Be quiet and listen. When he begins to talk don't interrupt or make suggestions... just listen even if you are itching to talk... and the silence between his words is driving you crazy. Be physically near him and look at him... and just listen. At the beginning you will be tempted to talk (and not listen) but learn to just sit with him and listen ONLY!

ii. Be interested in what's important to him. To make him talk to you then you must make it clear to him that you are interested in what is important to him. So make the effort to demonstrate that you are interested in what he is interested in. You don't have to be a fanatic about what he is interested in but just making the effort to support him makes him feel that you love him... and understand him. And this makes him more likely to talk to you.

iii. Respect him. He must know that you think highly of him if you want to make him talk to you. This doesn't mean that you agree with him about every single thing but it does mean that you respect his right to have an opinion... and you take that opinion into consideration. If you dismiss his opinions when he expresses them or if you just pretend to hear them, then guess what happens... he stops talking to you.

iv. Put the nag to death! To make him talk to you then you must not nag him to talk to you. The more you nag him the more he retreats into himself and the less he talks to you.

To get him to talk to you then encourage him to talk by your words and deeds.
I hope you enjoyed reading, your thoughts and views are welcome. Let’s talk about love

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