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Saturday, January 7, 2012

Tips to Save Your Marriage

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ips on how to save a marriage are everywhere! That's a good thing though! So many marriages end up being unhappy or end in separation that it's ridiculous. Recently Facebook published their 'relationship status' stats and it was revealed that marriage isn't the norm anymore. Being single is. In fact, if you visit any relationship forum you will find that separation is much more common than happy marriages.
So you can see why seeking out tips to save your marriage is a good thing. You are one of the people who are actively trying to keep your marriage intact, and you are taking action towards making sure that happens! And it can happen. A couple who puts in the work and dedication to their marriage can save their marriage.
Here are some how to save a marriage tips to incorporate into your quest to save your marriage.
1. Put Your Marriage Before Your Children
This is easier said than done when you have children. Many people will put their children first and their marriage second, but this can be a mistake! A strong and happy marriage will benefit the children way more than a broken and unhappy marriage. You are giving your children the chance to be around happy parents and good role models. This is priceless. So don't feel bad when you have to make a date without the kids in order to reconnect in the marriage.
2. Balance Your Work and Personal Life
If you are in a career that demands a lot of attention from you then you can quickly lose the balance between your marriage and your career. Your career will take up hours that could be dedicated towards your partner if you let it, and this can be detrimental to your marriage.
Both men and women can be guilty of this nowadays. Ever heard the term 'married to your job'? The only way to fix this is to leave your work at work. You may need to become more organized with your time management in order to get done what you need to get done at work so you can focus on your personal life at home.
3. Pay Attention to Your Spouse's Needs
Take care of your spouse's needs. Needs are what every single person has every single day, and they need to be met in order to feel satisfied.
What are your partner's needs in the relationship? Do they need to be acknowledged? Do they need to be supported? Figure out what your partner needs in the relationship and you will be one step ahead of many marriages. Figure out how to really support those needs and you will be a hundred steps ahead of the majority of marriages.
This is a short list of tips to save your marriage. If you really want to save your marriage then you will make sure you incorporate these things into your marriage right now. They will help you get on the path to healing and happiness.

Friday, January 6, 2012

Do You Spend Quality Time Together?

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t's such a simple title for something seemingly so difficult nowadays. The importance and the amount of quality time spent can only be determined by the couple in question. But there is possibly no better indicator regarding the commitment toward intimacy of each partner to the other than the want, the desire, to be with the other.
Spending quality time together is a choice not only for present happiness, but for the future of the relationship, also, for in future such times will be recalled as pleasant memories.
Quality time, within the structure of the Love Languages, is that innate desire to connect with our loved ones, in this case our partners, in ways that involves spending significant time together.
The issues of significant time are many and varied; for some this is about being together a lot of the time, whilst others want to make something significant of their time together. Either way, determining needs as a couple is critical.
The needs of each partner can be discerned by the other in a discussion date, which is any ordinary date of mutual choice, spent out of the hustle and bustle of everyday life, with a set objective of discussing questions like:
1. How do we enjoy spending time with each other?
2. What does quality time together look like?
3. What things would we like to explore together?
4. What memories would we like to reflect on in the future regarding time spent together now?
Most often one person in the relationship has higher quality time needs than the other and, therefore, those needs may go unmet. It would be rare for both partners to share an equal love, or need, of quality time. One will desire it more than the other. But both need to make time for it.
In a crazy life, where there is more than enough to do, and so much dilution of quality-anything, it is increasingly difficult to achieve a focused thing such as quality time. But it's not impossible if we're resolute and make this the most important thing for the relationship - if that's what this relationship needs.
Making time is about being disciplined regarding decision-making. Making time is also about exploring new habits and breaking old ones regarding how we spend time.
Time is the currency of commitment and, when it's spent together, it suggests a high price is worthy of intimacy.
Relationship develops in the seedbed of quality time spent together, where intimacy can flourish, which speaks volumes for commitment. 

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Dating As a Journey

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ingles need to acknowledge that dating is the process of selection of potential dates and requires going through various stages. I believe it is crucial to identify and clearly communicate relationship expectations and personal timelines early on in the dating process.
Sometimes uncertainly in the first months of dating someone is an early warning sign of problems ahead. More commonly though potential couples don't know their true feelings because they are holding back.
The answer lies in the fact that during this time, people who were able to reveal more about themselves - to bring their true feelings to the surface - possibly through an argument or disagreement might trigger true characteristics and behaviour. It is also important to have a readiness for a constructive argument or an ability to listen to the other partner's point of view, taking into account their feelings and feedback. Thus each partner could decide as they have been more open with their feelings, that they can then match to each other and be able to create a good relationship. Alternately, they may decide to break off the relationship and move on in different directions.
One of the secrets of successful couples who grow together and become good partners over time is being honest and open with each other, rather than being defensive. This is a recipe for relationship success; telling our partners how they make us feel or what is on our mind that concerns us about a particular situation or behaviour. Therefore during dating to see each other in different environments and settings with other people and friends can be helpful to identify the real character of a person that you date. Dating is learning to be more assertive. It is important to remember you are searching for your good match.
In dating to fulfil a long lasting relationship various factors are important:
1. Feeling ready for new dating experiences. If you are still sad or in a mourning stage after splitting up with your ex partner, you should wait to be reattached, to lift up your spirits and be available for a new adventure.
2. To recognise someone's potential ability to create a good relationship. To maintain a good relationship takes energy, affection, and support. Do potential partners have the time to pursue a relationship? There might be a conflict between what people want and having the ability to make it happen.
3. Revealing your true personality and level of commitment you planned to invest in a relationship.
However, in a dating process there should be no harsh assumptions or rush to conclusions to evaluate compatibility factors; but to understand each other's relationship intentions during an early stage of dating is essential.
There are millions looking for love and dating should be a more proactive process. Remember, singles need to enjoy their dating journey instead of having a fear of uncertainty or settling down too soon with somebody who is unsuitable.
Keep, your heart open and master dating skills to be able to catch the person of your dreams.
Wishing you success and love always!

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Caring and Intimacy

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f there is one thing that separates lovers from other relationships it would be a feeling of deep caring and intimacy. Lovers feel a connection deep within, much more than physical, and far deeper than emotional. It is as though the two have become one person. Your awareness becomes two-person centred and no longer self-centred. You sincerely care for the other and their well being. You give of yourself to lighten the burden of their life. You support their efforts without judgment or criticism. You become their mirror of inspiration and a deep well of comfort and compassion. You both come to understand the power of harmony and balance, the deep power of oneness at the core of your existence. You realize that deep caring and intimacy are a healing for the pain you felt in your alone years. This is a connection to something beyond your "I".
Love is not something you force yourself into. You can do that in all kinds of relationships and people to have experiences with, but love is elusive and a mystery. It is a gift and an opportunity to come to a greater consciousness of life and yourself. Many times you will hear it said that a person's greatest work was done in a time of love. This is mostly because in love, the ego and the mind take a back seat to feelings. Love is not logical or reasonable, it It makes you feel complete and helps you to touch other parts of your life. It makes you feel more alive.
Love also reveals your pain and your issues. It uncovers the unconscious aspects that blind a person from fully experiencing life and gaining deeper awareness. Intimacy brings you close and, from within its comforting and safe cocoon, a haven whereby you can confront your deepest fears, doubts and hidden agendas together. As a result, these things are recognized, dealt with, and eventually cast off as so much excess baggage, allowing an even further growth in spiritual awareness and intimacy.
It is human nature to think we are grown, mature and loving; however, intimacy and caring often reveal that we are blind to aspects of our very nature that remain unrevealed to us. Love becomes a joyous partnership to explore together, who we are, what we believe and where we are going. It can be a doorway to the very key to existence itself.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

How To Cope With His Loss Of Libido (Mature Minds Only)

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Would your husband rather watch the English Premier League soccer matches, play Angry Birds game or spend time on Facebook than be intimate with you? You are hot and he seems cold.
Sexual incompatibility is a normal and natural part of marriage given the unique differences and desires of each other. But sexual incompatibility can be diminished when you and your spouse work through the differences in desire and together build an intimate relationship. This is not just about the differences in the levels of sex drive but how you cope with this that really matters.
Sexual compatibility is a learned behaviour that can be developed and nurtured with time, effort and lots of practice within the unique relationship of marriage. Along the route to narrow the differences in sexual desire you need lots of patient and understanding from each other. Here are a few ways on getting your husband to have sex with you more often if you wish so.
(1) Resolve health issues
First of all rule out any health issues that may be preventing your husband from enjoying sex. Some ailments or certain prescription drugs may be responsible for his low sex drive. Seeking professional advice will help to pinpoint the cause and take measure to improve your husband's sexual health.
(2) Be more loving
His loss of interest in sex can make you feel rejected and hurt or even angers you. But if you approach him with this anger in your heart, you will be transmitting those feelings. Even if you do not say you are angry, he will still know. Even if sex is not all that important to him at the moment the fact that it has been such an issue between both of you is wearing him down and he is as upset as you. Find some compassion and take a deep breath before you talk to him.
The key is to make it easier for him to open up to discuss sexual issues and preferences and to make some potentially challenging personal adjustments to diminish the sexual incompatibilities between the both of you. This also requires accepting the fact that some degree of sexual incompatibility is inevitable in any relationship so that you can shift your energies from wallowing in it to proactively improving the situation.
(3) Do not make him feel pressured
It is important to choose the right time to talk to him or to ask him when he will prefer to talk. When you talk to him, you make sure that you do not let him have this feeling that his behaviour is the real problem, even though this is the fact. The aim is to get him to be less defensive.
One of the best ways is to begin your talk with the words 'I feel'. Talk about how you feel and avoid accusing, assuming, mind-reading or diagnosing your husband. You can say something like, "I feel hurt when you turn down my suggestions to see a doctor (or to go to the appointment with me to see a sex therapist)', or "I feel as if I am not important to you when you turn down my suggestions to see a doctor or to read a how-to sex guide with me. It is something I really like you to try even if you think the idea is stupid. It means a lot to me for us to work this out together."
Once you have set the tone for a collaborative, loving discussion, tell him that you realize that sex may be less important to him, but you are asking that he takes a step as a favour for you. Tell him why that would be such a good thing for you. You do not need to convince him into agreeing with you that your sex life is unsatisfying or both of you have a major problem. Just let him know that you are the happiest person in the world when he does one thing for you.
(4) Make the effort to turn him on
Knowing how to turn on a guy is about knowing how to stroke his little ego. If he feels sexy around you, he will also be a lot more turned on about you. If he has a sexy smile, let him know about it.
If you want to turn on your husband, you also need to become more desirable by revealing your wild side to him. Welcome him home in your sexy lingerie, or whisper your wildest thoughts in his ear. At times you can take control when in bed to show him your moves. This should be a win-win situation because through observing you, your husband will be able to learn a few moves to please you. Or you can let him take the lead first and initially you stay coy and then you break free like a wild horse and return his favour more passionately than him. This works best with passionate kisses and foreplay.
These tips are the necessary steps you need to take to increase the sexual connection and enjoyment in your marriage. This is an art which you have to master over time.

Monday, January 2, 2012

Enjoy Each Others' Hobbies To Liven Up Your Relationship

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ost fights in relationships take place because two individuals differ from each other in so many different ways. They find it almost impossible to compromise and do something that would make their partner happy. In a relationship, if you want to enjoy each other, it is important to learn to enjoy each other's hobbies. Only then will your partner begin to enjoy with you. So how do you go about it?
It is said that if you are with the right person, then any place is perfect. For example, if you are more of a laid-back person while your partner is adventurous, you can spend the weekend living in each other's worlds. On one weekend, you can ask your partner to do something of your liking with you like reading. While on the other weekend, probably your partner could take you out trekking, holidaying or on a road trip. In this way, both of you will learn to get used to, if not enjoy, each others' hobbies. It will help you to learn more about each other and understand better. Your partner will also appreciate your sincere efforts to trying to pool in and adjust into their world. It is also important to keep an open mind while doing so. If you don't approve of your partner's idea of fun, it doesn't mean that they don't enjoy doing so. So don't ever criticize them on the basis of their hobby. Always respect the things they like, it will make them feel appreciated and loved. However, it is also important to remember that relationship is about adjusting for your loved one, but it’s also about being honest to each other. If there is a hobby of your partner that you are finding almost difficult to enjoy, there is no use lying to yourself and your partner about it. Be honest and tell your partner that you really tried but are not enjoying doing it with them or see them doing it. They surely will adjust! What is the real secret to a great relationship? True love! There is certainly no definition for true love. But, one thing is for sure; true love is unconditional. If you truly love someone, you will make it a point to involve yourself in their lives to make them happy. Have a lovely life!