Saturday, February 4, 2012
lot of jokes revolve around the "gift that keeps on giving." Whatever it is in the joke, it's not a gift anyone wants. Well here's a gift that we all want and that truly does keep on giving: gratitude. It's a necessary ingredient for a healthy, happy relationship.
Think about it--when do you feel closest to your spouse or partner? I'll wager that it's when you know he (or she) really sees you and acknowledges you and appreciates you. Your loved one wants to feel that, too. We all crave that kind of connection. It's in those moments that we are most vulnerable and therefore open to the deepest heart-to-heart connection.
The recipe is simple: make it a natural part of your day to say thank you for all the ways your loved one makes your life easier or brighter or funnier or happier. Say it with a smile, say it with a gentle touch, say it with a kiss, but say it often.
Now, you might think that the things we're "supposed to do" don't deserve acknowledgment. Taking out the garbage? Cooking dinner? That's just part of the deal, right? Wrong. Nobody likes to be taken for granted. When we look for opportunities to express appreciation, we're less susceptible to irritations. Our mood is lighter because we're focused on the positive. Our positive, even joyful appreciation delivers happiness. When we're appreciated, we become appreciative. It's a self-perpetuating cycle of goodness: the gift that keeps on giving.
When you express appreciation, be specific. The more detailed you are, the more powerful the message. Rather than, "You're a great husband!" say something like, "When you look at me like that, I know I'm the luckiest woman in the world." Rather than, "You're a great cook!" say something like, "I really appreciate how much effort and creativity you put into cooking for all of us." You both will glow in the warmth of it.
Here's the best part: this works wonders with kids, too. Your children need to hear the many ways you appreciate them. They need to hear it often for their own sense of worth. They need to hear adults expressing it to each other so they have healthy role models to follow. When children live in an atmosphere of gratitude, it becomes a natural part of their interaction with others. The gift keeps on giving from one generation to the next.
Start right now. Cultivate gratitude--that glorious emotion in which a relationship flourishes. You'll be so pleased by the beautiful results.
Friday, February 3, 2012
o you think your relationship is pretty good? Not all that bad, just a little stagnant sometimes?
Even healthy relationships go through times of negativity, boredom and adjustment. We are human and we like our routines, but sometimes our routines can become a rut. Morning and evening rituals feel stale; family mealtime conversation is dull; sex feels more like an obligation.
When boredom sets in, you may be tempted to ignore those feelings and hope they go away because you don't want to risk stirring things up in an otherwise good relationship.
But there is a danger in keeping silent. We need stimulation; and if our current lives are not stimulating, we will seek excitement elsewhere, potentially damaging our love relationships.
Here are 5 simple ways you can keep your love alive and fresh when you find yourself feeling bored and wanting more out of your relationship.
1. Identify New Activities To Do Together
Sit down with your partner and come up with a list of new things you can do together that are different from your current routines. (Instead of watching TV every night, maybe you could play cards or take a walk. Maybe you could read a book to each other. Perhaps you can take up dancing, take up one lesson together.)
2. Get Away Together
Plan a getaway to some place new and different, just the two of you, where you can experience new surroundings together. You could each take part in planning a vacation or a weekend visit to a resort.
3. Schedule Date Times With Each Other
Schedule a certain time occasionally to have launch together in a restaurant or meet for drinks after work to discuss what has been going on in your lives or to make the plans you need to make for the next week.
4. Discuss Your Sex Life
Is your sex life working ok for you? Too much...too little...too routine? What needs to change?
5. Tell Your Partner Why You Love Him or Her
Remind your partner why you fell in love in the first place. Share the qualities you most appreciate in him or her. Mention specific details to keep it real and believable. You can touch working place once in a while if it’s possible, just to say "I love you," "I'm thinking about you."
Sometimes we think that shaking things up in our relationship or changing our stale routines takes too much effort and thought. In reality, a small act of kindness can make a huge difference. A little gesture that shows you are thinking about him or her and care about your partner, or a small detour in daily routines, can yield immense benefits in all areas of your relationship.
Every home needs regular maintenance and attention to sparkle and be a comfortable place in which to live.
The same goes for your spouse. Your wife, husband or partner needs to know that they are a priority in your life. It doesn't take much time or thought to tell him or her that you are happy that you are together.
You don't have to take all five actions at one time, but keep these tips in mind to maintain the healthy, loving relationship you already have, or to work toward that as your goal. The care you show your partner and the effort you put into maintaining your relationship will come back to you in buckets.
Thursday, February 2, 2012
t doesn't matter if you have been together for 3 months or 15 years, you can deepen the connection with your woman. There is no need to wait for your partner to make positive changes. By taking ownership of the relationship, you can renew your intimacy.
1. Love is not a declaration, it is an action. Demonstrate how you feel about your lover at least once every day. Connect even if you are temporarily in a different state or country. Telling someone you love them does not increase closeness unless the words are supported by actions. It's the little things that make a difference.
Leave a love post on your partner’s computer screen when you are out of town.
Before she goes out, make sure you tell her how beautiful she is. Welcome her with an embrace every time she comes in the door.
Fix the leak she has been complaining about in the kitchen sink.
2. Recognize her inner child. No matter how old we get; all of us remain kids at heart. We all have unmet needs from our childhood we are waiting to fill, as well as the joyous, spontaneous spirit. While spending time with your partner, try to identify their inner child and let her out to play. Find fun activities to do together that releases the inhibitions. Go for bike rides, visit the carnival. Any non-goal oriented activity that lets you be creative and spontaneous together. It is the perfect recipe for a lasting relationship.
3. Share bedtime. You can go to bed together at the same time, every night or most times. This is more important than you think. This doesn't mean someone sits in bed reading or watching the television. Shut off the phone, the night light and the TV. This is your time to talk, cuddle or have sex, if the mood strikes. Discuss your day, talk about your hopes and dreams. If you are away from each other, always talk on the phone as you lay in bed. It will go a long way in creating an intimate bond.
4. Be honest. If she does or says something you don't agree with, let her know. Pretending something isn't a problem is a recipe for disaster. You shouldn't make a mountain out of a mole hill, but definitely address problems before they cause resentment.
5. Create a no enemy zone. When the two of you have a disagreement remember you are not enemies. Stop for a moment and breathe. Think about what you love about her and why you are grateful to be her partner. Instead of feeling like a victim and arguing your case, listen to what she says and most importantly how she feels. You don't have to agree with her, but own up to your part in whatever upset her.
6. Keep in Touch. Stroke your partner as often as you can and encourage her to touch you. A hormone called oxytocin is increased with skin to skin contact. The natural chemical reduces stress, increases trust and raises sexual arousal. Touch results in a feeling of overall well-being. So touch well, and touch often.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
"I wish he was more romantic." That's a complaint that virtually every woman has had in her relationship at some point. Some women, typically someone you know, is the lucky one. She's the one with the man who is Mr. Romantic. He does things that make you gasp in delight and you wish so much that your guy had just a fraction of that degree of romance within him. Sadly, most men just stumble when it comes to romance. They don't know how to connect those dots. You're then forced to settle for a lovely relationship that isn't quite as fulfilling as you'd wish. You don't have to settle though. You can actually subtly guide your man towards being much more romantic so that every day feels like Valentine's Day to you.
What Won't Make Him More Romantic
Women all secretly think that they know exactly what to do to get their man to respond in a specific way. The problem is that they really don't have a clue. This is particularly true when it comes to romance. To avoid making anymore of those unwitting mistakes, here's a list of things you want to avoid doing if you're hoping to get your man to turn on the romance:
Make him feel guilty for not being romantic. When you attempt to make a man feel guilty for not being romantic, you're in essence wasting your breath, your energy and your time. Women indulge in all types of strategies in an attempt to make their man feel guilty for not being more romantic. Things like crying when he doesn't pet you after an argument, pouting when he forgets to pick up a birthday cake or card for you or using the silent treatment if he did not notice your birthday. Men don't tune into this type of guilty ploy. He'll be oblivious to it, which in turn will just frustrate you more.
Compare him to a man who is romantic. If your last boyfriend was romantic, keep that information to yourself. Don't share it with the man you're in love with now. He's not going to hear the part about how your last guy was so romantic. He'll be jealous, hurt and angry and your plan will go up in smoke.
What Will Make Him More Romantic
If you wish he was more romantic, you have to take control if you want to make it happen. Men don't suddenly decide that today is the day they are going to be romantic. If he hasn't been up to this point, you need to be his guide into the world of romance. Here are a few things you can do to encourage him to be more romantic:
Be romantic yourself. Men will often mirror the behaviour of the woman they're involved with. If you want him to write you a love letter from the heart, do that for him. Put real effort into it and write down everything you feel for him. He'll be touched and he'll want to return the gesture. You can do this with many things. There's absolutely no rule that says that a woman can't buy a man gifts. If you do occasionally, he'll soon take the hint that you want him to do the same for you.
Tell him directly what gifts you want. If there is a gift giving occasion approaching, tell your man directly what you'd like him to get for you. If you hope that he'll be able to anticipate that you want diamond earrings, don't be shocked if you get a blouse. Men aren't good at reading the minds of the woman they love. If you don't want to be disappointed, be direct. In time, he'll begin to see a pattern in what you like and then he'll be able to purchase something on his own that you'll love.
Compliment him when he is romantic. A man's definition of romance often greatly differs from a woman. He may bring you a chair to sit on. That's romantic to a man. That's why it's essential that you thank him for things like that. Those gestures are meant to make you smile and make your life easier, so always thank him. If you do that, he'll know you truly appreciate him and it will push him to want to do even more for you.
You can have the romantic connection you desire but it's all about helping your guy to find his inner romantic triggers. Every woman can have a relationship in which romance is always present. Once you discover the psychological buttons to push within your man to make him crave romance as much as you do, your connection with him will never be the same again.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
ince time immemorial, long-term relationships and marriages have taken their toll on couples around the world. No matter how much you may love and respect your partner, amidst the stresses of life, there is a chance that at some stage your sex life will begin to appear boring and routinely predictable. However, it is important for you to remember that with a bit of creativity, you can get your sex life to sizzle all over again. Some people believe that having the same sexual partner for years automatically implies diminishing excitement. This is not true at all! You have to be faithful to the one and only one you made a vow to. Try these ideas to spice up your sex life, and you may just find that your partner is more appealing than ever before.
Pleasure Each Other
A lot of couples develop this unstated understanding that if they begin foreplay, they must end with sex, with roughly 20-30 minutes of fondling, caressing and stimulating in-between. Over time, such a routine may begin to appear exhausting and less than exciting. If that's happening, it is time to change.
You don't have to extend your foreplay to sex every time. If your partner is in a relaxed mood, try to continue relaxing or chatting, while you pleasure each other. A lot of people find that it is a surprisingly erotic experience to continue talking 'normally' while being pleasured and stimulated by their partner. The experience of taking your time to pleasure each other without rushing on is also a great way to reaffirm your love and connection.
Pleasure without Expectation
At times, you could even pleasure your partner without expecting anything in return. For instance if your wife is just relaxing in front of the TV or reading a book after a day at work, take the opportunity! Both giving and receiving sexual stimulation can be great ways to de-stress, and if you do not saddle your partner with expectations, they may be more than game to just lie back and let you do your thing, even when she is exhausted. Besides, she will be more than happy to return the favour on another occasion!
If couples round the world are to be believed, this is one of the best ways to add spice to your sex life. If there is a board game, an outdoor one or any other kind that you both enjoy playing, you could set up rewards for the winner and penalties for the loser. I guess you both should decide what those rewards/penalties should be!
Do Something Different
You can play a role to make your bedroom game more interesting. You could go visiting a lingerie store to get some sensual wears to put on prior to bedroom action. A woman recently on a discussion board revealed how she got her husband to strip down ready for her. These are all great ways to spice up your sex life, but remember that this is only a brief highlight. There is a lot more that you can do, with some thought. The ultimate lesson is that a lifetime is not enough to run through all the possible ways to explore your sexuality!
Monday, January 30, 2012
f you suffer from premature ejaculation there are a number of different treatment options available to you to help you to last longer before reaching climax. In order for any of the options to be effective, however, you need to ensure you adopt a positive mindset. Positive thinking is essential for you to achieve success and satisfaction with the time it takes you to reach climax.
Making changes to the positions you experiment with during intercourse as well as some management techniques to help you cope can make a big difference to premature ejaculation. While these suggestions may not be able to assist with premature ejaculation that is caused by physiological factors they will certainly help you to enjoy sex more, and maybe even help to get your confidence back, which is a step in the right direction.
Going Back To Basics
Foreplay is a great way to claim back your intimate connection with your partner and without the pressure of penetration. It can be especially useful if your partner is feeling inhibited by your sexual relationship, or if you have been experiencing relationship problems, it is a way of pushing the 'reset' button. Taking the time to find out what gives your partner pleasure takes the focus off you and your performance and can help to ease up on the anxiety.
The Missionary Position
This position hasn't really ranked high up on the list of ceiling-swinging sex positions because it is so mundane. But, when it comes to dealing with premature ejaculation, it can be one of your best tools. Start out in the body to body position and be aware of how subtle changes in body position may intensify the experience for you.
Remember to communicate with your partner and to stop or withdraw when you feel you are close to reaching a climax. Start slowly and increase with intensity, depending on how well you are coping.
Face to Face
When your lover sits on your lap, she assumes control of the intensity and speed of your love-making. This position still allows you to be intimate, and you may distract yourself with kissing and caressing during intercourse. The back and forth motion may be easier for you to tolerate for longer than up and down movements, so experiment and see how you can up the ante over a gradual period rather than rushing towards climax.
Lying with your partner in front of you with your bodies closely aligned can be an effective sex position to delay premature ejaculation. The man has no visual stimulation in this position and most men find it comforting and intimate. If you feel like you are approaching climax too quickly, you can stop or slow things down. Communication is vital if you are to overcome premature ejaculation as a couple.
Giving it rather than receiving it also gives you a chance to focus on your partner's needs and desires, taking the pressure off your performance. If your partner has been dissatisfied with your sexual relationship, this is something of a personal compromise and a way of showing her how much you care.
All positions should be begun slowly and be built up as time proceeds. Once you feel comfortable with a position and are able to control your ejaculation, you should think about changing the pace a bit. Changing positions regularly also relieves sexual build up, and the time that lapses between positions can give you a chance to recover.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
ong distance relationships are very difficult to maintain but it is not impossible. It is going to be a real test of patience for any couple to keep the relationship flowing naturally for a longer period of time. Let me first talk about why couples are going through this phase at all.
Why long distance relationship at all?
The world has changed today and everyone has realized the importance of building a career, looking for new opportunities to strive in this world. Many couples begin dating each other while they are in school or in college or during work. But life does not remain the same always is it? Once school is over, you move to university and after that, you move to work. And many a time people have to move to different cities for university or for work. Sometimes when couples start dating while at work, they even change work for better opportunities and the distance increases. Someone of the two might even go to pursue higher education and thus the distance between the two comes live. Sometimes love could not be found in your locality, during schools or at working place due to circumstances beyond your control. Opportunity of travel or online tool may offer an opportunity to fall in love.
Nobody thinks what may involve when they start their relationship, since the very human nature makes us look only in the short-term rather long-term and thus comes these differences. Many a times people even if they know they are not going to remain close to each other, they feel that long distance relationship is easy and can be maintained without any trouble only to realize in future that breaking up is inevitable. Long distance relationship is not something that cannot be done, but the problem arises when you start realizing that visiting each other is getting more and more difficult and perhaps you find someone else closer to you which then look a better option to go with.
Tips to survive long distance relationship
Communicate Often - There is no better way to survive a long distance relationship than to communicate as often as you can. Talk many times a day and share everything with each other. Communication has got so much easier today with the help of internet. Apart from talking on the phone, you can also use Skype and video chat with each other. This helps in keeping the closeness among the two. I have a friend whose relationship lasted for more than a year in a long distance relationship as they used to communicate several times a day sharing everything to each other. They ended up marrying.
Visit regularly - It is very important if you both visit each other at intervals. Apart from communicating, it is also important to get physically close on random intervals say a couple of months. When you visit each other every couple of months despite the distance, it gives you a sense of relief that the relationship is still as strong. Once it gets into the mind that visiting is not even an option, the relationship automatically deteriorates which is a problem. So keep in touch and visit at intervals.
Do things together - If you both are living far away from each other, so what happened? Do the same thing together at different places. Are you interested in visiting cinema? Both of you should discuss what you have been watching. This keeps that spark still in the relationship and gives new topics to talk about and enjoy.
Keep problems aside - Since the distance between you two has increased substantially, it is time to set aside the problems and become more open towards each other. Were you both a bit possessive about each other? Well it is time to be more open and be easy on each other. The biggest disadvantage of having a distance is if you both have a fight over anything, it becomes difficult to fix it up as you cannot get face to face with each other and here the things start to deteriorate. So be easy and open and try to avoid getting into a fight as much as you can. It will make your relationship last much longer. Or if you have not met for the first time, try as much as possible to schedule time to meet so as to feel each other in real life. This will really add hope on the way forward.
Be positive - The last tip from my side is to be positive in life. There is no better way to kill things than being a negative person. Even if long distance relationship is a very difficult task, be positive and feel that you can maintain it well enough. Being positive in life gives you the power to achieve the impossible in life.
Good luck with your relationship.