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Saturday, June 16, 2012

Is Finding a Soul Mate Possible?

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"True love is the soul's recognition of its counterpoint in another".  Soul mate for me is someone you deeply connect with. The connection is unbelievable that you understand each other even when words are not uttered. You both are always thinking about the same thing and you are compatible in every way. I don't care what those self-righteous people say but a soul mate is someone who completes your existence. People who have fallen deeply in love can relate when I say that when you have found your soul mate, your life is never the same anymore, you feel complete even if there are other things that are obviously lacking in your life. The tips below can help you understand it further:

1.) Believe that you will find true love.
Have a little faith and start believing that someday you are going to find that person who will love you for all that you are. Allow me to quote Paulo Coelho- "When you want something, the entire universe conspires in helping you to achieve it", he is absolutely right. True love is such a deep, mysterious topic and there are many opposing views whether or not soul mates do exist. For some, there is no such thing. Nobody really knows, right? What you need to do is to keep an open mind and stop being cynical. When your thoughts are always negative you are also attracting negative situations. Your definition of soul mate may be different than most people so hold on to whatever you believe in and know that there is someone out there, somewhere, for you.

2.) Make yourself a better person.
Are there aspects in your life that you need to improve on? Do you have to work on some issues about yourself? Are you unhappy with yourself and life in general? Before finding a soul mate, you have to be the best person you can be. Work on your issues and make peace with yourself. You won't have someone stay with you if you are bringing a lot of emotional baggage into the relationship.

Another way on how to better yourself is by engaging yourself to whatever you are passionate about. You are not only helping to make the world a better place but you are bringing yourself closer to your soul mate.

3.) Be Patient.
Everything that happens in our lives has perfect timing so you don't have to rush into things or you may end up being with the wrong person. Take your time and give yourself a chance to get to know the person. Keep in mind that love is not just about strong physical attraction. True love will make you see past the superficial aspect of the relationship.

4.) Learn how to love and accept people for who they are and not for who you want them to become.
This is a very common pitfall in a relationship. We try and try to change somebody to what is ideal. Remember that every person is unique and no human being is created perfect. We are given the ability to love so that we can accept the person with all their imperfections and faults. If you live in your own fantasy world and you want someone perfect then you will never know how to find your soul mate. Unrealistic or delusional expectations can ruin everything for you. These will prevent you from experiencing what true love really is.

How You Can Move on After a Painful Relationship

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Life after an abusive relationship can be a time of growth and learning with the skilled help of a coach. A coach who understands what happens when a woman has experienced the fear and trauma of living in a painful relationship. Most people assume that when a woman has left the relationship then life can get back to normal and the advice given of 'Just put it behind you' can seem so empty and really of no help whatsoever.
Women experience memories, flashbacks, anxiety, emotional outbursts, lack of emotions, unwarranted fear, low self esteem, lack of confidence and a fear and dis-trust which stops them from allowing love back into their life. This can be a lonely and painful existence. It can create all sorts of problems and issues which are unseen to the outside world. Many women try counselling which does offer relief in the short term but talking about a problem over and over again does actually anchor in the emotion and trauma causing the 'problem' to feel as if it's getting bigger and bigger.
The secret to living a full life after abuse of any kind is to release the emotion. It does not need to be talked about, worked through or dealt with. All emotion is held in the unconscious mine which runs patterns, behaviours, beliefs, ideas and strategies. One indicator of this is that many women find themselves testing new partners. They want to know if their new partner will hurt them. This is common yet not fully understood. If a woman is asked why she has displayed a specific behaviour she will probably not know. She will know why but not understand her behaviour.
An experience of an abusive relationship can leave a woman feeling worthless. She wonders how she could have allowed the situation to occur or let it go on for so long. The important thing in healing and creating a loving relationship is the release of the emotions and beliefs about herself. The ability to love herself and participate fully in self care is vital to the creation of a new loving relationship with a new partner. With skillful counselling that offers transformation, therapeutic intervention, support and guidance anything is possible.
There is a life after a painful relationship. The recovery and healing can at times be challenging, it can be exciting but the most important thing is the transformation. 

Friday, June 15, 2012

Tips that Will Help Your Relationship

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 Here are six ways to be nice to your partner. It won't necessarily salvage a marriage in its death throes, but it will go a long way to nurture, heal, or repair a relationship that still has a chance.

- Good manners - "please" and "thank you" are just as necessary between adults as between children and adults; and good manners don't become irrelevant just because the relationship is an intimate or long-standing one. Courtesy demonstrates consideration and is a lubricant for all interpersonal interactions. The absence of good manners is often a statement of its own about a lack of caring for the other person.

- Spontaneous simple affection - a touch on the back, a soft stroke of the hair, a hand resting on an arm, hand-holding when walking together, a kiss on the forehead when passing by. These simple gestures carry a powerful message of caring and connection. This is not to be confused with sexual overtures, which are a whole different category from being nice. When sexual overtures are the only gestures of affection, partners often reject them out of hand. Partners generally need to be treated nicely and with affection before they can be responsive sexually.

- Thoughtful gestures - "can I get you anything while I'm up?'; "I made you a cup of tea" (especially when brought to the recipient in another room or part of the house); bringing something favoured home from the super market ("Look, they had those apples you like so much!"). "Thoughtful" carries the clear implication that one partner was thinking, with kindness, of the other.

- Noticing and addressing emotional states - directing your attention to your partner with the intention of assessing how s/he is feeling, and then expressing what you've observed - "You look tired, honey," or "You seem really excited about this project." Noticing carries the message that one partner is significant to the other. This one leads us directly to the next tip

- Inquiry - either to make an assessment or to pursue one, ask your partner questions. "So, tell me about this new project." Or "How are you doing with this new work schedule?" Receiving an inquiry from someone who matters to you is experienced as very positive. An inquiry carries the implicit message that you were not only noticed but also cared about.

- Being considerate - be as considerate of this person whom you've known intimately and at length as you would be of a relative stranger or a guest. Don't bang around late at night when your partner is trying to sleep; make sure there's milk for the morning coffee; don't hog the remote control; don't interrupt when someone else is talking; etc.

Now, some general reminders and guidance -- these tips apply equally to male and female partners. We often think of these demonstrations of niceness as being particularly suitable to be received by women. Recent research has clearly demonstrated that men who are the recipients of these kind and thoughtful gestures from their partners are happier in their relationships. Similarly, we think of women typically as being the nurturers in a relationship, but they also need to be the recipients of thoughtful gestures. Niceness needs to happen and to go both ways.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

If You Neglect These Strategies He Would Hide Many Things

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We've always known that men are wired differently. Women love the pep talk; men don't, so don't expect the guy you are currently seeing to tell you what went down with him and his ex-girlfriend. It’s right to ask questions on what you don’t understand to make someone open up. See, it doesn't work like that in a man's world. There are certain things you have to follow on how to get a man to open up.
1.) Know what questions to ask and what buttons to press. It sounds simple but for some reason, women tend to mess this up all the time. They get too excited in getting to know the person that they ask "10th date" questions on the first date. Why can you not be content in asking him about his job or how many siblings he has. Don't be such in a rush to gather tons of personal information about him. When it comes to past relationships, plans for the future, etc unless a man goes into that direction, do not go there. In other words, wait for the man to start asking those questions. Be patient, he will open up once he lets you in completely.
2.) Believe it or not, men are also afraid of rejection and the last thing they want is for women to be judgmental and critical of them. They have that fear that if they open up; they are going to get laughed at or won’t be found as sexy or masculine anymore. It's very critical for a woman to know that a man's ego is more fragile than hers and this is especially true when a man is in a relationship.
When a guy is in an intimate relationship, he tends to be more vulnerable because he is letting his guards down. Make your partner feel that you are not going to judge him or look at him any differently once he opens up to you. If you make him feel otherwise, don't expect him to talk. Allow your man to say what's on his mind freely. Learn how to listen and make sure he knows that you are there for him no matter what.
One very important thing on how to get a man to open up is to realize that men need to establish an emotional connection before they open up. Just be patient and stop bombarding him with crazy questions! Also, once he finally opens up, try your very best not to blurt out your point of view with something like "OH you did that?" or "That is so wrong". If you are going to be all judgmental, don't expect your man to ever talk about his past or fears.
3.) Take the initiative and open up first. A relationship is a two-way street which means that you can't really expect your partner to open up if you haven't done it yourself. Show your man that you have as much trust in him as he has in you. Every person has a "can of worms". We all have our own share of fears, problems and a not-so-good past. A lot of men fear that if they share too much of the past they are not so proud of, women would walk away. Make your man feel that this is not the case and that you care about him enough for you to understand and accept him with whatever indiscretions he did a long time ago. Once he starts talking, listen and say something encouraging like "that's all in the past now" or "that's not as bad as it sounds".

Monday, June 11, 2012

Strengthen Your Relationship

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We hear a lot about ensuring that things are sustainable. It's a buzzword these days. There's sustainable energy, sustainable business practices, sustainable everything. In the business arena sustainability is a key concern. But you do not tend to hear very much about relationship sustainability.

How likely is your relationship to be happy and sustainable in the long term? Do you have what might be termed a mature relationship or one that is less well thought out? How well do you deal with the lumps and bumps in your relationship? Do you pull together or rather do you fall apart? Do you hide your face or turn the other way when things aren't going so well?

Some relationships just seem to bring out the worst in people whilst others bring out the best in them. Often a relationship makes sense on paper but it turns out to be too wearying upon one's emotions. It's easy to spend far too many years thinking things like "Once we get over this point" or "Once the kids are in higher institution" or "Once we get more stable financially".
We find ourselves making excuses for the status of our relationships. We perhaps don't put enough time and effort into our relationships. We might approach our relationship with a bad attitude.

From time to time we are probably all a little guilty in this respect. That's normal. But if this is how it is for the majority of the time then something is amiss. The balance has tipped and what might have been a sustainable relationship becomes an intolerable relationship.

A good relationship requires thought and consideration. If you do not prioritize and think about your relationship in the right manner then it will not proceed in the way that you desire. Good relationships require a great deal of respect.

If you feel the need to re-generate the love in your relationship and your partner is of the same view, it is an easier task than you might think. In many ways all you need to do is put your heads together and think about how you would like to approach your relationship from now on.

Spend some time recalling the things that brought you together and what you used to love about each other. Spend time together doing things that you both love to do. Needless to say, quit spending time chewing on the things that irritate you; put up or shut up!

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Invisible Sign that Will Never Fail That He or She is The One

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Who else is in a relationship, and is confused about what it means? Is it the real deal? Have I met my soul mate? Or am I just spinning my wheels and wasting my time on yet another relationship that's NOT going to work out? The truth is, while there are millions of women (and many men as well!) asking this exact question every day of every week of EVERY year... the answer is surprisingly simple to spot for most.

As a writer, love intuitive and relationship, the secret to understanding true love is often as much about YOU, he/her. Each of us has unique, hidden or "invisible" forces that work relentlessly in our relationship.

There are things we need to know in our relationship, the needs and desires that each partner wants are very different.
This leads to what I refer to as an "imbalance in emotional equilibrium", and mismatched meanings that WON'T make marriage (or any relationship) happy for long.

For example:
You can be in love with someone, deeply, passionately and with the full of your emotional intensity, and yet never really be happy, IF that person's underlying emotional needs are much different than your own.

A woman whose core values and who fundamentally craves security, family and commitment often falls in love with men whose core values are fun, freedom and financial focus.
No matter how strong you may feel for another... unless there is a core shift in the underlying emotional energy in one partner or the other (or ideally both) the relationship will invariably NOT work out.

The STATISTICS bear this out, as well.
How? Because 65% of all relationships end in divorce. It's not that the couples never were in love... it's that they have different emotional energy.

As an emotional intuitive person, this underlying invisible "force" is akin to your AURA.

You can change it with practice... but most of us never will. We are who we are. And because of that, no matter how powerful or persuasive the fleeting love you feel for someone in the beginning feels, in the long haul... picking partners that DON'T match your map of meaning are destined to fail.

The easiest way to find out if he's the one early on in the relationship... BEFORE you get hurt?

I know this is going to sound too new age and controversial for many of you, but trusting your intuition, and listening to the "direction" that the Universe wants you to follow is the real key to authentic love, happiness and bliss. Each of us comes into the world with a specifics set of plans, a PURPOSE and the passion to pursue our highest calling. Far too many of us, especially WOMEN... listen to our heads, rather than our hearts, when it comes to meeting our "match" and we give up far too much when we make a mistake.

I believe making the invisible, "visible" is the key to hooking up with the right one.