How to Win Her Heart through Better Conversations

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I think we all know that most women would love it if their man was to work on being able to have better conversation and communication in their relationship. And I think we also know that most men are a little bit too stubborn to admit that they might need to put some work in when it comes to being able to have better conversations with their woman. You don't want to allow that stubborn streak to end up making you feel like you don't need to work on bridging any communication gap that you might have.

Here is some advice that should guide you if you want to be able to have better conversations with the woman you are dating:

1) Any conversation that you have with your girl should be one where you are doing just as much listening as you are talking.

Some guys think that talking more often to their girl means that they should do all of the talking and none of the listening and all I can say is, that's not going to work out too well. If you want to make her happy and you want to strengthen up your relationship, then you need to get good at listening just as much as you need to get good at making small talk with her. More than anything else, showing her that you are willing to listen to the things that she has to say is a good way to let her know that you are definitely serious about her. That's what you really want her to see, so go ahead and do some listening.

2) It's okay to add some fluff into the conversation if you have to.

You can't always go deep and you don't always have to. Like I said, most of what your girl wants is to see that you are at least willing to make the effort and sometimes adding in a little bit of fluff into the conversation will do just that. You may want to get serious with her once in a while, but not every conversation has to be some deep psycho analysis of where you and her are going. You can lighten things up once in a while.

3) Take what you learn about her and act on it.

The best way to show your girl that you are actually paying attention to what she has to say is to take what she tells you and what you learn about her and do something with that information. For example, if you find out that she is an art lover and you really never knew that about her before, why not plan some weekend getaway to an art gallery? Doing little things like this helps you to gain some ground with her because she knows that you are not just letting her words go in one ear and out the other one. She will know that you are actually paying attention to what it is that she has to say to you.

A Casual Relationship Can Turn Serious.

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You meet someone and you hope for the best. If it doesn't work out then walk away. It sounds so simple but love is never meant to be that way. Sometimes you have to walk through a lot of heartaches before you will meet that one person who will love you like crazy. Finding someone is not easy because of all the complexities that come with dating. It doesn't matter how many times you got hurt, the most important thing is you picked up some valuable lessons and then you move on. The beginning stage of any relationship can be ambiguous especially if you don't have any idea whether you and your partner are on the same page. You've been seeing someone and you seem to get along well but can a casual relationship turn serious? The answer is YES. How will you know if a guy wants your relationship to be for keep?

1.) He Tells You Everything

If you've been dating then you know that it's often difficult to get a man to open up. They guard their emotions and secrets so well and it sure drives women crazy. If you've been dating for a while now and all you know is his job, Facebook status and what he likes in bed then don't expect the relationship to blossom into something deeper. When a guy sees you as a potential life partner, he is going to tell you everything including his childhood. If he starts telling you about his dreams, fears, plans for the future, past relationships and his family, it means your relationship has turned serious.

2.) He introduces you to relatives.

Your relationship is on a serious track if he has introduced you to his family and extended family. This simply means that he wants them to know that you two are exclusive.

3.) You two are comfortable doing nothing

When all the sensational feelings go away and you two still want to hang around, that's the time you know that the relationship is getting serious. The first few dates are all about getting to know each other, trying to impress each other. If you have made it past this stage it means you have established a deep connection and the relationship is for keeps. You are completely comfortable spending a quite time together and you are not dying to impress each other. When you have reached this stage it means that you both have let your guards down.

4.) The future revolves around you

How can a casual relationship turn serious? If your man keeps talking about your life together, his plans and if he starts to make more intelligent decisions it means that he definitely sees you in his future.

Is he Commitment-Phobic? Find Out

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You've been dating this guy who is obviously smitten with you, you have that undeniable chemistry and you enjoy doing things together but the problem is you can't get him to commit to a relationship. You start wondering why he hasn't introduced you as his girlfriend or worst he hasn't introduced you to anyone in his circle. There is only one thing I can think of right now, he is commitment-phobic.

The term "commitment phobia" is not a joke; there are actually people who are so terrified in committing themselves to a relationship. The moment they feel that it's starting to get a little serious, they bail out. That's usually the reason why he hasn't been calling you or he's avoiding that dreaded question "where do we stand in our relationship?"

As unfortunate as this can be; your situation is not hopeless. No, it's definitely not the end of the road for you. Don't just give up on the man who swept you off your feet without doing something. Learning how to make your man commit is no easy task but it's not a rocket science either. It's just a matter of doing things right and of course you need perfect timing. The solutions are pretty simple. Read the following tips below on how you can get a guy commit:

1.) Make him feel special and let him know that you love him for who he really is and not for who you want him to become. This is a very common mistake that most women make .We treat our men as projects and we have this stern idea in our heads on how we want the relationship to be, how we want to be treated and even worst on how we want our man to behave. It's ok to live by certain standards and I am not advising you to settle for less than what you deserve but at least be realistic. That dreamy guy you see in the movies is not real! Don't get into a relationship with a man hoping that he will change for you. You'll end up being disappointed in the end and that leaves you both frustrated. Love the person for who they are and that's all there is to it.

2.) Don't ever make the guy feel that once you become official that means saying goodbye to his beloved freedom. His world does not need to revolve around you now that you are exclusively dating. Let him enjoy his time with his friends and don't gang up on him if he plays Call of Duty for hours. As long as he's not taking you for granted you shouldn't try to jump on him for having fun once in a while outside your relationship. And please don't act like the jealous girlfriend all the time. Men find it cute when their girl gets a little jealous sometimes but do not overdo it. Don't beg for his Facebook password! Bottom line is, make sure you make your man feel that he can keep his freedom at a reasonable degree.

3.) Don't act desperate.  You don't need to scare him away! Don't talk about your dream wedding when you've only been dating for a couple of weeks. In other words, don't jump the gun if you really want to get him to commit to a relationship!

Ways You Can Make Your Man Stick to You

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If you want a man to stay in your life, you have to know what keeps him happy. There is a ton of information written about this topic and it may get confusing because some of them say that you have to treat a man like a king while others advice women to be strong-willed and make the man feel that they are the boss. It's actually pretty straightforward; respect your man without being a doormat.

There are many ways on how to keep a man happy but let's not complicate things here. There are simple but foolproof ways on how you can make your boyfriend or husband grinning with happiness at the very thought of you.

1.) Respect his Privacy.

Just because he is committed to you it doesn't mean that you can demand for his Facebook and e-mail password. And please don't think that you can tinker with his phone and scan his contacts and messages. If he allows you to have access to his passwords, fine, but demand them in a way that shows that you don’t trust him. Every adult has the right to privacy and if you trust your man, why do you need all his passwords? The bottom line is if you can't trust the guy then walk away from him. You're saving yourself and your partner from the horrors of endless fights and confrontations.

If you are in a mature, loving relationship and your partner does not give you any reason to distrust him then you shouldn't check all the messages and drive yourself crazy by snooping in his business. If you respect your man's privacy, he would respect yours too.

2.) Cook for him.

The best way to a man's heart is through his stomach. It's a cliché; check around you can see its truthfulness. Cooking is a glorified skill that you have to learn. No buts no ifs! As simple or as shallow as it may sound, cooking for a guy fulfils a basic human need and it also sparks off feelings about being cared for. Find out about your man's favourite dishes and if you must, get the recipes from his mom or grandma. Give him a surprise when he comes home from work. He's going to love you for this!

3.) Be a sex kitten.

I think this is a no brainer. Pleasing a man in bed is almost a guarantee that he is going to stick around, of course with the added benefits that are mentioned above. Unleash your wild side in the bedroom whether it entails you to wear costumes or changing your sex styles. Wear sexy lingerie and get a bikini. This will definitely make you feel good about your body. Also, don't always wait for him to make the first move. It wouldn't hurt if you take the lead sometimes. Take charge, woman!

4.) Compliment him.

You think women are the only creatures who love to be complimented? Well, think again! Men are no different and if you are able to make your boyfriend or husband feel good about himself, then you clearly know how to keep a guy happy. No matter how small the compliment is (he has a great smile, gorgeous eyes, or how he looks extra handsome in that blue shirt), your man will appreciate it. Just be sincere every time you praise him. If you see something you don't like, just don't say anything. You don't have to fake it and lie to him.

5.) Don't ever emasculate your man especially in front of his friends.

Men don’t like being humiliated and berated. Never ever make a man feel less like a man even when he's done something wrong. Don't put him down when he makes wrong choices. Hitting below the belt is a definite no-no!

Staying in Love

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United we stand

What are the ways to fall in love and stay in love? Start today with these ten direct and established things you can do to improve the dynamics of your intimate relationship. Isn't it time you start feeling passionate about your partner to help your relationship?

1. Show your love and appreciation. You show your partner you care when you demonstrate that you adore and cherish them. Gifts! Small remembrances! Doing a small job for them! Don't assume they remember from a few years ago what you said or did. Be creative, thoughtful, and bold for increased sexual intimacy.

2. Live in the moment, be present. Let your soul soar with what makes you happy, and laugh, enjoy pleasure, don't take time for granted. Make more time to enjoy your vibrant energy through doing what you love, and then enjoy the moments of quiet, profound peace inside afterwards. Many call this mindfulness. Enhance your marriage, and remember you can also be more present with yourself, as an adult.

3. Enjoy memories. Without believing you have to live in the past, reflect on the fun, joyful memories that have been created. Our feelings are connected with our thoughts, so when you remember the good times, the feelings can be recreated in our mind and body that we had with the experience.

4. Think about the future and offer your dreams. When you have a purpose that you love, don't you have more energy? Set some goals, dreams, and hopes up so you can both work towards them. This can keep you from feeling stuck, unmotivated, and bland. Your heart, what you love, is a powerful motivator!

5. Love your partner for who THEY are. In the passionate stages of intimacy, didn't we all believe the high energy would never stop? Then the differences began to emerge, and our romantic image of the other fades a bit. Remember to make a list of the many things (start with 50 and try for 100!) that are wonderful, great, and lovable in your mate, and then show the list to them!

6. Try new things. We tend to love new adventures and experiences because we all love to expand our knowledge, skills, and capabilities. Confront the ruts that couples can get in to by learning something new. What about unusual classes, experiences, or trips?

7. Remember to have FUN. How do you like to laugh together? Can you find the humour in comedy clubs, funny books you read together, or new experiences? We all tend to get too serious as the years go on. What lightens you up? In couples counselling, learn how increasing the oxygen in your body can lead to better sex

 8. Find projects to work on together. When you become a team around some shared values, you can increase sexual intimacy and a bond that is very powerful. Work together on an important goal and you will see the greatness in each other. Do you like helping your community, political movements, etc.

9. Don't forget what really matters. The well being of yourself, and the health of your intimate relationship, are what is important. The little voice inside us all may want us to go for instant gratification, yet try to remember what you found important as you age. What does long-term loyalty mean to you and your family? Look for ways that give you excitement, caring and loving.

10. Be of service, and your heart will grow. Uncover ways, where you give to, care, and serve your intimate partner, instead of asking them to prop you up the way a parent would. They are not your parent, and you are not a child, so learn ways to love your partner by giving caring attention TO THEM for who they are. 

Is Finding a Soul Mate Possible?

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"True love is the soul's recognition of its counterpoint in another".  Soul mate for me is someone you deeply connect with. The connection is unbelievable that you understand each other even when words are not uttered. You both are always thinking about the same thing and you are compatible in every way. I don't care what those self-righteous people say but a soul mate is someone who completes your existence. People who have fallen deeply in love can relate when I say that when you have found your soul mate, your life is never the same anymore, you feel complete even if there are other things that are obviously lacking in your life. The tips below can help you understand it further:

1.) Believe that you will find true love.

Have a little faith and start believing that someday you are going to find that person who will love you for all that you are. Allow me to quote Paulo Coelho- "When you want something, the entire universe conspires in helping you to achieve it", he is absolutely right. True love is such a deep, mysterious topic and there are many opposing views whether or not soul mates do exist. For some, there is no such thing. Nobody really knows, right? What you need to do is to keep an open mind and stop being cynical. When your thoughts are always negative you are also attracting negative situations. Your definition of soul mate may be different than most people so hold on to whatever you believe in and know that there is someone out there, somewhere, for you.

2.) Make yourself a better person.

Are there aspects in your life that you need to improve on? Do you have to work on some issues about yourself? Are you unhappy with yourself and life in general? Before finding a soul mate, you have to be the best person you can be. Work on your issues and make peace with yourself. You won't have someone stay with you if you are bringing a lot of emotional baggage into the relationship.

Another way on how to better yourself is by engaging yourself to whatever you are passionate about. You are not only helping to make the world a better place but you are bringing yourself closer to your soul mate.

3.) Be Patient.

Everything that happens in our lives has perfect timing so you don't have to rush into things or you may end up being with the wrong person. Take your time and give yourself a chance to get to know the person. Keep in mind that love is not just about strong physical attraction. True love will make you see past the superficial aspect of the relationship.

4.) Learn how to love and accept people for who they are and not for who you want them to become.

This is a very common pitfall in a relationship. We try and try to change somebody to what is ideal. Remember that every person is unique and no human being is created perfect. We are given the ability to love so that we can accept the person with all their imperfections and faults. If you live in your own fantasy world and you want someone perfect then you will never know how to find your soul mate. Unrealistic or delusional expectations can ruin everything for you. These will prevent you from experiencing what true love really is.

How You Can Move on After a Painful Relationship

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Life after an abusive relationship can be a time of growth and learning with the skilled help of a coach. A coach who understands what happens when a woman has experienced the fear and trauma of living in a painful relationship. Most people assume that when a woman has left the relationship then life can get back to normal and the advice given of 'Just put it behind you' can seem so empty and really of no help whatsoever.

Women experience memories, flashbacks, anxiety, emotional outbursts, lack of emotions, unwarranted fear, low self esteem, lack of confidence and a fear and dis-trust which stops them from allowing love back into their life. This can be a lonely and painful existence. It can create all sorts of problems and issues which are unseen to the outside world. Many women try counselling which does offer relief in the short term but talking about a problem over and over again does actually anchor in the emotion and trauma causing the 'problem' to feel as if it's getting bigger and bigger.

The secret to living a full life after abuse of any kind is to release the emotion. It does not need to be talked about, worked through or dealt with. All emotion is held in the unconscious mine which runs patterns, behaviours, beliefs, ideas and strategies. One indicator of this is that many women find themselves testing new partners. They want to know if their new partner will hurt them. This is common yet not fully understood. If a woman is asked why she has displayed a specific behaviour she will probably not know. She will know why but not understand her behaviour.

An experience of an abusive relationship can leave a woman feeling worthless. She wonders how she could have allowed the situation to occur or let it go on for so long. The important thing in healing and creating a loving relationship is the release of the emotions and beliefs about herself. The ability to love herself and participate fully in self care is vital to the creation of a new loving relationship with a new partner. With skillful counselling that offers transformation, therapeutic intervention, support and guidance anything is possible.

There is a life after a painful relationship. The recovery and healing can at times be challenging, it can be exciting but the most important thing is the transformation. 

Tips that Will Help Your Relationship

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 Here are six ways to be nice to your partner. It won't necessarily salvage a marriage in its death throes, but it will go a long way to nurture, heal, or repair a relationship that still has a chance.

- Good manners - "please" and "thank you" are just as necessary between adults as between children and adults; and good manners don't become irrelevant just because the relationship is an intimate or long-standing one. Courtesy demonstrates consideration and is a lubricant for all interpersonal interactions. The absence of good manners is often a statement of its own about a lack of caring for the other person.

- Spontaneous simple affection - a touch on the back, a soft stroke of the hair, a hand resting on an arm, hand-holding when walking together, a kiss on the forehead when passing by. These simple gestures carry a powerful message of caring and connection. This is not to be confused with sexual overtures, which are a whole different category from being nice. When sexual overtures are the only gestures of affection, partners often reject them out of hand. Partners generally need to be treated nicely and with affection before they can be responsive sexually.

- Thoughtful gestures - "can I get you anything while I'm up?'; "I made you a cup of tea" (especially when brought to the recipient in another room or part of the house); bringing something favoured home from the super market ("Look, they had those apples you like so much!"). "Thoughtful" carries the clear implication that one partner was thinking, with kindness, of the other.

- Noticing and addressing emotional states - directing your attention to your partner with the intention of assessing how s/he is feeling, and then expressing what you've observed - "You look tired, honey," or "You seem really excited about this project." Noticing carries the message that one partner is significant to the other. This one leads us directly to the next tip

- Inquiry - either to make an assessment or to pursue one, ask your partner questions. "So, tell me about this new project." Or "How are you doing with this new work schedule?" Receiving an inquiry from someone who matters to you is experienced as very positive. An inquiry carries the implicit message that you were not only noticed but also cared about.

- Being considerate - be as considerate of this person whom you've known intimately and at length as you would be of a relative stranger or a guest. Don't bang around late at night when your partner is trying to sleep; make sure there's milk for the morning coffee; don't hog the remote control; don't interrupt when someone else is talking; etc.

Now, some general reminders and guidance -- these tips apply equally to male and female partners. We often think of these demonstrations of niceness as being particularly suitable to be received by women. Recent research has clearly demonstrated that men who are the recipients of these kind and thoughtful gestures from their partners are happier in their relationships. Similarly, we think of women typically as being the nurturers in a relationship, but they also need to be the recipients of thoughtful gestures. Niceness needs to happen and to go both ways.