Remember to check back for a new topic

Monday, February 25, 2013


Bookmark and Share

By Barr Godson Nwachukwu

For better For worse
The first question the officiating priest asks a man during his wedding in the open and to the hearing of everyone- is whether he will take the woman as his wedded wife,......Love her, comfort her, honour, and keep her, in sickness and in health; and forsaking all other, keep only unto her, so long as both shall live.

To this, the man gleefully replies, “I will".

The woman on her side is asked a similar question. The only different is that while the man is asked whether he will "COMFORT HER"; the woman is asked whether she will, "OBEY AND SERVE HIM". Of course, there is one obvious answer which she gives- "I WILL".

When the above processes have been gone through, the father or guardian of the woman hands her over to the man.

After the handing-over process, comes the most crucial stage where the man and the woman each undertakes to have and hold each other:
"from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part....."

The above to my mind as a lawyer, passes for an "Oath of office" into the institution of marriage because, it is only after it that the man and the woman can be pronounced husband and wife.

It is regrettable that wedding couples of these days appear not to appreciate the full implication of this “Oath of office". This was not the case in those good days when our fathers wedded our mothers.

These days, wedding couples rattle over this "Oath of office" in the presence of the officiating Priest and well wishers without appreciating its contents. They see it as one of those things wedding couples have to say during their wedding call it “Mere Protocol" if you like. As a result, many have charted their own courses. For many, marriage is 'For Better for Stay' and " For worse for Go".

Consequently, marriage keep breaking up like glasses entrusted to the care of children. I think, understanding to live with a person “For better for worse" means binding oneself inseparably to that other person no matter the temptations or circumstances. Most married couple think of the sex they are going to have that day, if they haven’t done it before; forgetting that marriage is an act of total surrender, to either to sink or swim with your partner. It is an agreement to live a monogamous life-two people in union with each other to the exclusion of all others. It also means that you've permanently closed your ears and eyes to anything that will make you hear or see why you should not have married your partner. When love is blind, the couple also become blind.

In the film "Good-bye Tomorrow", a wife had Aids disease. Her husband stood by her bedside until she died. He never even bothered to tell his parents-in-law. He bore the pains with his wife. I am almost certain that most men would not near their wives again in a situation like this.

The summary of what I have been stating is that you cannot really start enjoying marriage until you marry and begin to live “FOR BETTER FOR WORSE". It is an unending romance of life when you marry and live "for better for worse". There is no room for divorce. In Matthew 19, particularly verse 9, Jesus warns that whoever divorces his wife and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.

This must be serious! Little wonder, His disciples stated if it is so, it is better not to marry.

Maybe, you think, if you divorce them, you will marry another. Hahaha, marriage is for better for worse!

 Reach Barr Godson Nwachukwu via email:

No comments: