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Friday, March 1, 2013


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By Barr Godson Nwachukwu

Do you find it difficult to forgive? Forgive always. It's divine! It frees your soul and makes you come to light.

Forgiveness within marriage starts well, but becomes more difficult if the other partner refuses to change. When your spouse repeatedly sin against or wrong you, it is tough to keep on giving forgiveness.

In Matt 18:21, 22, Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive? Till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven. (KJV).

Let's face the tough questions. How does a faithful Christian spouse live with pain? How do you tolerate the spouse who keeps on hurting you again and again? What if your spouse is an addict, a thief, or an adulterer?

A Christian woman I talked with recently told me that her husband was sleeping with different women and that was the main thing that made her not to give in to his sexual advances. This is worsening the whole thing.

I know, most women do it. Once their husbands are unfaithful, they resort to sexually starving them.

I must say, you contribute to his being irresponsible. Don’t let yourself to be responsible for his irresponsibility.

You should not try to force him to be responsible by nagging, condemning, scolding or moralizing.

I've come to understand through my studies that spouses, who cheat, have lot of excuses why they do it. Wayward husbands and wives most often feel the need to justify their actions. Often they will engage in blame-shifting. They say, "Well, you always....." or,” You never...." or, “What about the time that you......" or” You're not so perfect either, because you do.....” If you want to make your marriage work, and I hope you want, come on, you want; why not begin to remove the excuses. Any excuse they raise, remove it and expect another. Meanwhile, concentrate on meeting the other's needs (and keep meeting them). If you think that your hubby is seeing another woman, don’t starve him, but that's the time to give him lots of sex. Whether he wants it or not.

Jesus teaches us to love our enemies. Why don’t you show love to that your spouse you're now considering as an enemy. Stand by your marriage and sacrifice yourself in love. It's not easy, but often it's effective.

When your marriage is in trouble, when you're the only one who is trying, wear the full armour of God.(see Eph 6:10-20). Take your stand against the devil's schemes to destroy your marriage. Put on the belt of truth and make honesty and integrity your way of life. Let peace in your marriage be the good news of Christ you bring. Let the peace flow from your forgiveness.

 Then pray always, in every way the Holy Spirit leads.

You may become God's instrument to restore and rebuild your marriage. Never you say enough is enough. What your spouse needs is more than enough. Always make a room for each other's fault.

Colossians 3 v 13 says, " Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you".

Also Ephesians 4 v 32 says, "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you".

Finally, have you prayed this prayer before? "FORGIVE US OUR DEBTS, AS WE ALSO HAVE FORGIVEN OUR DEBTORS". For if you forgive your spouse, when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.... Matt 6:12, 14-15.

Please, "Forgive seventy times seven".

Reach Barr Godson Nwachukwu via email:

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