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Sunday, March 3, 2013


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By Barr Godson Nwachukwu

Do you really care?

How do you show your partner that you love them? Do you give them gifts? Do you take them out for a meal or cook a special dinner for them? Do you tell them half a dozen times a day, ' I love you?' And do they do the same for you?

Many people make the mistake of thinking that the only way they can show love to their spouses is to always repeat the now monotonous, stereotyped, and abused sentence; “I love you". No doubts, it is one way of showing love to your spouse particularly, if it comes from your heart of hearts. But it will amount to an abuse if you say it just for saying sake or without appreciating its full import.

However, apart from buying gifts, cooking a special dinner or taking them out for a meal or saying, "I love you", in fact there is an infinite number of ways to show someone you love them. Every little thing they do that they didn’t have to, that they only did because they wanted to please you, is their way of saying, 'I love you'.

If you want to know how much your partner cares, don’t just focus on gifts (although those are fine too, at least in my assessment). Think about the last time they change the sheets when it wasn't their turn, or fetched you a drug when you were feeling ill, or made a phone call for you because you hadn't the energy. If those mundane, unromantic-sounding things aren't gestures of love, what are they? What else was the point of doing them?

If you learn to recognize these signs for what they are, not only will your partner feel their love is appreciated, but you'll feel even more secure and happy once you realize that every little thing, even if it is as little as making tea for you is just a secret code for ' I love you'.

And the gesture of love aren't always doing things for you either. Sometimes it can be giving you a bit of freedom, if that's what you crave. So when she says, ' You can go to work and I'll take the kids to school, that's another way of saying, ' I love you'.

You can't expect your partner- or anyone else for that matter- to have exactly the same ways as you of showing they love someone. It's actually easy to stop over on the way home and enter a supermarket and buy gifts. The thought is important and generous, but it actually takes much more effort to be up first in the morning, or wash the car or do things, they would not ordinary have done; that they know, you don’t really want to do.

Please, from today, recognize the signs!

Barr Godson Nwachukwu can be reached via email:

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