Remember to check back for a new topic

Friday, October 24, 2014

Get healed fully before getting involved in another relationship

Bookmark and Share
Are they really together?

One who has gotten out of a toxic relationship should count their blessings that he/she is no longer there. Now it’s the time to heal. You have a probability of getting better or full recovery. Sure, you will deal with all kinds of emotional turbulence on your journey to recovery mostly resulting from unconscious flash backs. Just relax, process through the journey probably with the help of a therapist, you will see yourself recover sooner than ever imagined.

Perhaps, you desire a new and healthy relationship. Probably the ended toxic relationship has robbed you of some pursuits in life. Getting involved in a toxic relationship drains energy and destroys its creative power as well.  To be sure you don’t derail from the process of recovery, avoid the following distractions.

External pressure from your family or pressured because anyone around is married.

It’s a challenge when you see all your friends and close family members married or in a serious relationship-this will leave you longing to hook up immediately. But you have to be reminded to go through the healing process to be ready for the right person. There is a different timing for everyone, pressure will abrupt your healing process. You must let go of unhealthy messages working round the clock in your subconciousness and people who are not supportive in your healing journey. They didn’t go through with you in that harmful relationship and are neither part of the pain you are passing through. Keep individuals who will encourage and support you in times of difficulty and loneliness.

Trying to escape the pain and memories of the painful relationship you got out from

A good relationship beyond your control could present intense pain. No one will want to go through such experience hence a rush to go into another relationship which might be unhealthy and toxic. Preventing you from grieving what has been lost for eventual recovery. You are now in the period of delayed reaction which will eventually catch up with you. Allow yourself the grieving period so that you can move forward. Then get ready for a much healthier relationship than a rebound.

Inability to recognise previous mistakes or red flags in your previous relationships

If you really want to get it right, you have to develop the ability of recognising red flags. The worst that can happen is to go from one toxic relationship to another. Try and find out what red flags are and why you are always attracted to them. Awareness should be your number one step of avoiding another toxic relationship.

If you are driven by loneliness

Some people can still be lonely even in a relationship. Another wrong relationship will still leave you lonely. So if you are desperate to get into another relationship just because you are lonely will leave you vulnerable to the wrong person.

When you have not filled up the holes created by the previous relationships

You might still be operating under the influence of dysfunctional patterns of your unresolved relationships. Chances are that those unhealed areas of your life are still operating your life unless there is a proper intervention. A therapist will facilitate your healing by helping you see your unhealthy patterns. You can consult a professional for a fix.

When you don’t know what you want in relationship

People keep falling into wrong relationships when they don’t have clear idea of what they want. For example, what are the values you want in a person you wish to go out with? If he is troublesome, does it matter to you? If she is dishonest, can you cope? It’s time to do some soul searching and ask yourself “the person I’m going into relationship with, do we share the same values or are they thinking along my line?” Wait a minute; you want to get married so soon, so why would you go into a relationship with someone who is not serious about getting married or probably doesn’t want to marry at all. You will be left heartbroken again!

No comments: