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Monday, September 7, 2015

Making love work in your favour

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Love is beautiful!

How do you know that you are with the right person?

Falling in love entails anticipation; their phone call, want to feel their touch and all there is about them. Every relationship has its high and low moments.

You do not have to struggle or make a big effort to fall in love. It is a spontaneous experience. That’s why it is called “falling” in love because it is happening to you without initiating too much. The falling in love part with your partner can’t be difficult.

People in love occasionally say, “I am swept off my feet.” Imagine standing and all of a sudden you are lifted off the ground.  So falling in love is not hard. It’s a spontaneous and passive part of your love relationship.

But you will observe that several years down the line some couples’ love seem not the same. It has been said in some quarters that the love hormone decreases as the years go by. The high passion that was there before reduced leaving companionship visible. When the low moments of a relationship set in! Slowly but surely some of the creative things they used to do like frequent calls, texts, touching, no longer matter, spouses’ imperfections that were not seen initially now become annoying often.

The symptoms of this stage may not be the same in every relationship; you can notice that the initial stage of falling in love and the subsequent stage of most marriages are not always the same.

At this point, you and your partner may start wondering if this is really the person I fell in love with. When you are tired in a relationship the possibility of looking elsewhere is there. When this idea presents itself there is the imminent collapse of the relationship. Blaming each other for your crises can’t be ruled out. Infidelity is usually the fallout. These partners now have more time for work, going to church, their hubby, friends, more TV watching and even drugs. However, your answer to this conflict can only come from within not outside the marriage.

You could be married and still fall in love with someone else. This may feel good initially. But you will still end up in the same place a few years later. This is because success in marriage is not about finding a partner, It’s all about staying in love or learning to love the person you already found.

Being passive in your relationship would never give you that never-ending kind of love. You have to make it last; to keep the fire burning. Marriage and long-term relationship take time as well as effort. You should know what is needed in your relationship to make it work.

Love is no mystery novel. There are rules you can apply to make your relationship work.

Just as there are physical laws such as gravity, there are certain rules for marriage or relationship as well. Some particular habits make relationship stronger. E.G. you can be having quality time, just the two of you once a week at least. Moreover, if you know those things that work for both of you, the results will be awesome. Love can work in your favour if you put in time and effort. 

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